I call this type of thinking the "Cowboy Persona"

Cowboy Persona

> Must wear cowboy boots. Will spend high dollars on the best boots money can buy. Wears them everywhere, sometimes tries to wear them to bed.

I worked on a farm with cows. Boots are made to protect you from manure and to keep your feet warm in the mud. They look gross and you take them off when you don't need them. You would never wear them in public.

> Must wear cowboy hats. Will spend high dollars to buy the best Stetson they can afford. Wearing the hat demands pompous narcissistic personality.

The best hat I've worn is the one with the ear muffs. The wind gets cold when you are fetching the wayward from the back 40.

> Must listen to only country music. Will not enter establishments unless it is country music only. Will use cry in the beer music to get sympathy. Uses rowdy country music to justify aggressive behavior.

Most of my time working on the farm was without music. Headsets are a hazard when bulls are around and tractors are usually too loud. Me and everyone I knew listened to rock n roll.

> Must love a good fight. Loves to get into brawls. Prefers a night with at least one knock-down drag-out.

Getting up at 4am everyday, working all day and going to bed at 7pm. If you manage to go out, you are too freaking tired to get into a fight.

When I see someone acting a persona it makes me think how shallow they are. What really gets me is that women fall for those shallow personas and then wonder why they end up with the men they end up with.

I want a woman to be attracted to me, as I am. If she chooses to be with me, she knows what it is she is choosing. I don't have to be something I am not and life is much easier and contentment is within our grasp.

Women also have a "Cowboy Persona".

I see it as too much make-up or always must be in jeans and a tee-shirt. So intent on being one of the boys that they fail to be a woman. There are also women that are so intent on being a lady that they fail to act naturally.

I'm looking for the woman that can be both whenever they feel like it. Her natural beauty isn't hidden behind a facade of clothes and make-up.

You can adopt a persona to attract a mate but the mate that you attract will be attracted to the persona and not you. How can that be good?

.. this is a really good point..
I think the trick to it all is knowing when to be the bad boy and when to be the good guy... your above statement encompasses me totally..
I can take her out be the Charming gentleman.. make her feel like she's the only woman on the planet .. mixed in with a little bit of bad boy confidence.. then at home alone in the bedroom with her.. I can do both that bad boy and tender lover... but in the day today life I'm the cook, cleaner do the dishes type of person...
The Balancing Act is tricky because you never really know when the woman wants the bad boy or the good boy... she comes home and you're making dinner and the dishes are done ,but she wants you to Ravish her... but at that moment we have our tender nurturing.. hat on... and then when you put on your Bad Boy hat she wants the nurturing Guy... so yes once again very confusing but communication is key.. maybe a text message or phone call during the day to let you know what type of mood she's in.. so when she comes home you could be making dinner naked and only wearing an apron...lol..

I think the trick to it all is knowing when to be the bad boy and when to be the good guy....



hit it out of the park with that one...

[I can't figure out why you are still single]


I would add, communication is key,, there is nothing more appealing than a man who can communicate his wants and intentions,, and it inspires the woman to do the same,,, can't miss

Women want a good man who know when to be bad.. and just how bad to be.

THIS. That's the way I look at it all.

There are, I eventually learned, a whole slew of variations on the "bad boy" versus "good guy' (NEVER say you're "nice," that's death) claptrap/myth.


What it boils down to, one way and another, is that people like mates who aren't boat anchors, nor are they pets requiring training, nor are they eager-to-please robotic mechanisms, requiring regular "maintenance" to remain faithful. Most of the appeal of the so-called bad boys/girls, is that they give the appearance of being self-contained, and able to supply "fun," without requiring that you do a bunch of work to get them to have that fun with you.

And watch out that you don't demand or assume that everyone perfectly describe what they want from a mate. To actually know that, and be able to express it clearly and concisely, would require expensive training, education, as well as a paid professional external observer, figuring out your entire psychology and life story.

Agreed

I'd like to hear "I wasn't sure what I wanted till I met you". I've heard it before but I didn't feel the same. It would be nice for me to say it back once.

Maybe in your personal pursuit of women you should ask "what does this woman want right now?" Good or bad boy is too simple. I can't speak for all women, but I know that I would prefer a good guy, but one that has the ability to take care of me and stand up for me/protect me , regardless if I need him to or not. I'm not saying I want a caretaker but rather a partner.