After Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands....they became known as simply, "The Islands!"

On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.

One year, on Groundhog's Day, Punxsutawney Phil heard that Chuck Norris was in town, so he stayed in his hole out of fear. Spring never came.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Biologists now know that grizzly bears are not really bears at all, they are Chuck norris's offspring.

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? None, if you don't hurry up and change that &^*@ing light bulb Chuck Norris is gonna kick your arse.

Chuck Norris can leave the toilet seat up and never get yelled at.

Knock Knock
Who's there
Chuck
Chuck who?
Suddenly the door is kicked in and you get a round house to the face. There is only one Chuck....Chuck Norris, and you had better let him in when he's knocking on your door.

Chuck Norris once got into a fight with King Kong, witnesses from afar dialed 911 and told the police "hey, I think some white guy is whupping Gary Coleman's ass"

If a tree falls in the woods,it doesn't matter if someone heard it fall or not because it fell if Chuck Norris said it fell!

Family Guy!!!!!

Cosmologists said that
the planets revolve
around the sun.

That was until Chuck Norris
roundhouse kicked the sun
so it started to revolve
around him.

chuck is WAY OVER RATED<<<<

Sacrilege!!!! (Where should we send the flowers, drv4269?!?!)