This is a poor attitude for raising children. In the moment, it may make them 'happy' to eat five pieces of chocolate cake. Knowing, however, that such a diet is unhealthy for their bodies, its a poor choice to sit idle and accepting just because they are 'happy'.

Why then, do so many grown ups take this approach to other grown ups? Why do we convince ourselves that 'happy' is all that matters and that correction that may interrupt or 'judge' that happiness is hateful,,instead of loving?


I have heard it before. Ask a question like "How would you feel if your daughter was doing porn?"

and many would proudly exclaim 'well, as long as she was happy."

I have heard the refrain from Dr Phil guests many times "Cant you be happy that Im happy?"


maybe 'happy' should not be our primary or only goal for ourselves and others?

rant over,,lol

I see it as a cop out to not have to explain one's actions or decisions, and probably because they can't explain them. Our society is stock full of people who want to be 'happy' all the while treating most others with disdain, dismissal and disrespect. This entitlement society has forgotten to treat others as they would like to be treated then go on a quest to find 'happiness'.
Gimme a break. Happiness is temporary, just a state of mind.
Contentment is much more permanent and doesn't depend on the action or inaction of others.

I agree with you Rooster.

Happiness it all starts with you. People fail to relize that. Rewiring your thought process is a long road and takes will and dedication. Chasing riches won't get you there. People are lazy and obviously to the fact. Misguided and uneducated. Yes I said it and that's a fact.

Well said, too.

Thanks buddy.

Its easier to deny unhealthy side effects will have any significant effect on future happiness than to ask the difficult question of whether it is in the long term interest of self, others or the environment.




To judge whether something is in your own long term best self interest is difficult enough.
Let alone trying to work out what is in an others best long term interest.
Same with the environment.

short term is valued over long term or long term is put into the hands of the gods

As soon as someone has their value system questioned it is easier to attack the questioner than to question ones own value system. Especially if the value system you utilise is borrowed from ideology instead of exhaustive self examination of reality.

Denial creates short term happiness

Now creates the delusion of long term

Future is what we make of it

Five pieces of chocolate cake?
So, that is how he got his chubby belly.

It depends entirely on your definition of "happy."

Take the children and the overindulgence in sweets, for example. If your measure of "happy" stops at the period of time that the child begins pumping them into their mouth, then you will let them do it (if you follow the "let them do what makes them happy").

If instead, you measure "happy" by how much they enjoy feeling sick to their stomachs later, and having to go through lots of pain at the dentist after that, then "whatever makes them happy" will work out to be a very GOOD choice.

I don't care for overly simplistic "philosophy" decisions, due to exactly this sort of personal experience.

Many people who loftily proclaim that "make them happy" is a "BAD THING," are usually rather ironically doing exactly what they are speaking out against: they want others to make the choices which will make THEMSELVES "happy," and disregard the specific concerns of the people they are criticizing.

So, while I am well aware of the people who brush off others' criticisms and warnings by saying "whatever makes them happy," and well aware that much of the time it IS a mistake in progress, I would say as well, that it's a tricky business to make judgments either way, so I would admonish everyone not to accidentally copy who they are critiquing.

mmmmm..." I am just going out into the world to find happiness"

equates to "whatever I do that makes me happy should be acceptable"


means that no one now is allowed to have..opinions, morals, values or principles..and if ya do best keep those to yourself



when most say " I should be able to do whatever makes me happy"

they like to ignore that their choices may have consequences
may cause harm, hurt to others

Another very good subject area to think about and discuss, by the way. Thanks msharmony.

IMO they don't, really, at least when they say something like "as long as they are happy."

They may say they do, but it's usually part of a whole process they go through mentally and emotionally to reorient themselves.

Little different than saying "namaste," or, "amen," or, "fine, whatever."


Because utilitarianism spread through the culture just as much as christianity, capitalism, and theories of psychology.
"Whatever causes the greatest pleasure with the least to no suffering is what defines 'good.'"
How do you measure the greatest pleasure? Happiness.

There's an automatic belief that your happiness is not caused by the suffering of others, otherwise it would be obvious by the number of suffering people wanting revenge.
Therefore if you are happy, then you are doing something "good."
Which makes you a "good" person.

If the other person is suffering? Then you might not have been "good" to/for them.
"As long as they are happy" can simply = "I caused no harm, I'm not a 'bad' person, I caused no harm, and they're happy, that may mean I am a 'good' person, I want them to be happy, their happiness makes me happy, therefore I am a 'good' person. Their happiness does not harm me, I choose not to suffer but instead be happy, if I'm happy, I'm a good person, if I'm suffering then I'm 'bad.'"

People trying to be "good" people so they aren't ostracized like "bad" ones is a huge part of social relationships.


Probably.
But there are worse alternatives.

By the way, something else to recognize in this subject area, is that at least some of the instances where it seems we are seeing someone hand out a "whatever makes them happy" blank check, they are often doing something else entirely.

I'm thinking of things like public scenes, such as a TV show expose (Maury or whatever). If someone hauls someone's private business out in the open, and calls upon a parent or a mate or a friend to either give them thumbs up or thumbs down, many of us would show loyalty to the one we care about, by refusing to condemn them publicly, even though we wish they would make a different choice.

And saying "Whatever makes them happy" is a common way of saying that, without EVER meaning to declare that pure hedonism should rule all decision making.

Did you hear about the Seven Dwarfs in bed feeling Happy?

Then Happy got out, and they all felt Grumpy.

( joke)

To Quote Me:


Like any addiction, emotional 'states' can be compulsive. Happiness is but one emotional state in a person. Happiness is a feel good emotion just like sugar, alcohol and drugs. There is often a downside to happiness just like any other compulsion. The downside to happiness is depression. If one's desire is constant happiness then when happiness is not sustained the lack of happiness feeds the depression.



Again, this is where social delusion has twisted how we say things but don't really know the meaning of the words we use.


This implies "well, as long as she is content" but happy is how most people think they should describe contentment.



Now look at the same sentence as "Cant you be content that I am content?"

I am content with being alone but I am not happy all the time.
I do experience happiness moments even tho I am alone.

To Quote Me Again:


Likewise, you cannot make anyone feel anything they do not want to feel.

Own your feelings. All of them. Feelings are fleeting because they are meant to be. We are complex and have complex feelings. Our emotions create who we are now. All of them, whether we know it or accept it or not.

Happiness is a state of well being. It depends on how we see life and how we deal with the things that are happening around us. The pursuit of happiness does not always mean that we can do whatever makes us happy, it should be coupled with consideration of others, situations or events and the consequences of our actions. Not all favorable things that happen to us can make us happy all the time, what is in excess or we think are good could also be harmful to us or to others. We should be mindful of everything that we do, set limitations and considerations. The pursuit of happiness cannot be found in doing the things that makes us happy only but in searching for the true meaning of life with the feeling of contentment or satisfaction of what we presently have in life and make the most of it for the good of everyone and our well being.

I think finding ways to be happy is very important in life. I don't think it's an excuse for bad behavior.

There must always be a balance.

It's OK to eat a slice of cake now and then, even if it's not good for your body - if it makes you happy. It's not okay to pig out on junk food every day - because, long term --- it will NOT make you happy.

I tend to lean towards now, because I see it as the only thing we know for sure. My father gave up everything he loved (enchiladas, beer, etc) after having a heart attack. He lived another few years, then died of cancer. He might as well have eaten to his heart content.

I go back to balance. If you lean too far in either direction, it's not good.

It is possible to be happy, and have a good diet.
It is possible to be happy, and be single.
It is possible to be happy, and be respectful.
It is possible to be happy, and be a hard worker.


I think the idea of happiness has changed. It has become the word used for entitlement.