Its a thin and subjective line , I know

and people who hold on to 'proper' customs and traditions have every right and shouldn't be disparaged or discouraged

holding to customs isnt what makes someone bougiese but looking down at those who dont choose to does

I shared a dinner with someone who was very rude about someone who hadnt used the 'right' fork to eat their salad and I wanted to barf

that type of better than thou attitude over things as simple and insignificant as cutlery, really baffle and sicken me


so, you were brought up to have enough cutlery in the house to have salad AND dinner forks,, whoop de doo,,,not everyone was but they are not any less than you because of it


so you know the right WINE for a specific meal, but not everyone grew up having those kinds of meals or any type of wine


younger people say no problem, spanish say de nada(literally its nothing) , and older generations say you are welcome, but does it really matter which one as long as they all have the same intent and meaning?



some things that are strictly etiquette are lovely to have , but they dont make anyone any better than anyone else




does this kind of bougiese irritate anyone else, or am I oversensitive?

it irritates the heck outta me..
I was brought up in a very British fashion.. I was taught etiquette and even walked around wearing a book on my head for posture.. however.. I was also taught to "do unto others, as you would have done unto you" and "think before you speak" so.. when people I'm 'around' start talking down about others, I typically tend to excuse myself, and walk away...

if it REALLY rubs me the wrong way though.. I WILL express my disdain as respectfully as I can, THEN walk away

me too zero,, not the british part,, but back when sears was big they had etiquette class where we walked with the books on our heads and learned the 'proper' ways,,,etc,,

I have been irritated to the point of uncontrollable shaking when confronting someone like that before,,

I probably will start shaking again, so I wont relive it,,lol

mine was my Aunt.. my mom was pretty sick when I was very young so I ended up spending a LOT of time living with my Aunt.. don't get me wrong.. she was a HOOT.. but when she had to be.. she was VERY firm!

as I get older though, I'm becoming less tolerant of 'snobs' and a LOT more open with my opinions..

Bourgeois (o)

In English, "bourgeoisie" (a French citizen-class) identified a social class oriented to economic materialism and hedonism, and to upholding the extreme political and economic interests of the capitalist ruling class.

Ok being from Texas, and having a huge lack of,,,,,x these kinda folks, I had to look it up. Lol

Usually don't run into these fun types!!

see , its even got a pretentious spelling,,,lol


thanx, I always forget the spelling, maybe its an involuntary brain block

you are lucky,,

That's ok Harmony, I'm sure you weren't getting "bourgeoisie", lol.

Isn't that more of a "snob" than bourgeois?


Part of that is simply different perspectives.
If someone talks loudly during a movie, or starts texting, or heckles a comedian during a live performance you paid to enjoy, do you have a problem with it? Should people behave a "certain way" at these places?
Because you're well aware of the traditional way to maximize enjoyment of these things?

Or do you say something like "well, not everyone grew up with enough money to go to the movies consistently to learn not to be loud, how bad texting is, or they shouldn't interrupt a performer."

If you saw someone crapping in the street and they received a fine from the cops would you stick up for them saying "well, not everyone grew up with indoor plumbing or toilets, you bourgeois cop."

Everyone has their tolerance levels. Everyone is a representative of their socioeconomic class whether they want to be or not. You can either identify and accept where you are in the hierarchy, or delude yourself into believing you are "above it all" and start to believe your traditions are based on some kind of logic and reason and just how everyone should behave.

Every "class" finds ways to identify another to look down to, and another to resent for looking down on them.

When you stand in queue you look at the people in front of you, and the people behind you, in order to determine your position.

So

Is it jealousy driving the rage?

Golly gee wiz, we non-bourgeois folk are always jealous of them bourgeois folk.
So, we never have a legitimate complaint about them.

/sarc

i must be one of the *lowers.....i thought it was soup....

your examples are of consideration for common space

my dining is not a common place and affects no one else

neither is whether one says you are welcome or no problem

leaving poop for others to step in and smell, or making noise when others are trying to hear isn't about tradition its about consideration


its not jealousy , its consideration for others that fuels the irritation at how people treat them

first and foremost a Marxist Strawman,put to nefarious use by Lenin and his Ilk!

"He is onto us, Natasha."
"We had better roll, Boris."

Etiquette and politeness are about making others feel comfortable. The moment someone used the "rules" of etiquette to make someone feel uncomfortable or to create class distinctions they are failing at the basics of etiquette and are the crass boors.

wonderful point

I really hate when people act superior to others!

To the OP:

You're obviously from NORTH Las Vegas.
Those low IQ feebleminded hicks in SOUTH Las Vegas are so moronic.

We all judge and look down on others from time to time even when it's not intended.

Dogbert explains where etiquette rules came from.



From . . .

I judge peoples actions and treatment of others, I dont put myself as better or worse than any other imperfect human

There seems to be no end of snob groups in the world. Rich people snobs (the "use the right fork to prove you are one of us" crowd), music snobs, wine snobs, restaurant snobs, wild-sex snobs, working-class hero snobs, redneck snobs, and on and on.

One thing I USED TO think was a "snob thing," but have completely changed my mind about, is which way to put the toilet paper on the roller. It really IS vastly better to put the roll on so that the paper comes off in the FRONT, and not in the rear.

Folding the exposed edge into a "classy" point, however, is just for rich snobs.