So we have certificates, diplomas, degrees and promotions awarded to us after passing various academic or professional tests .

These acolades for the most part become the symbol of our growth in knowlege and proficiency in any given skill or field of knowledge.

But what do you use to measure your growth in love?

Many of us have been through several broken relationships , and take pride in all the lessons we feel that we have learned ...

...until the next relationship may fall apart, and the learning cycle starts all over again.

So how do you measure YOUR growth in love?

When a certain ex who had given up smoking started blowing smoke in my face I deduced that her love wasn't growing anymore.

My growth was to accept the message

Love isn't, shouldn't be, measured in GPAs, goals gained, points, or pluses and minuses. It doesn't have a price. And it's not an agenda with a check off list. People who look at it that way usually end up with a list of spoiled relationships, and probably haven't learned anything from any of them.

Yes understanding and accepting what our mates are communicating to us both good and bad , is actually a credible sign of love growth I think.
Good one Simplycomplicated

Love is fluid and varies by degree and type at any given moment.

Contrary to a lot of others opinion I believe those moments and changes are worth defining and look forward to when we can all get a Degree in love

I look at it this way. In all my past relationships I have loved and given a lot of myself in each one. When they have ended I look back and truly believe that they were not failures. They are my history. And I like that. I haven't become jaded thinking that love is something that will never happen. And I really like that. And all this tells me that I have not given up on being in love. I call that progress.

I guess I would measure it by the choice I make in picking my next lover...sorry Peggy, I can't take deep questions past 8pm.

Perhaps I did a poor job of phrasing the question. Those acolades I referred to above were strictly related to academic and professional achievements... NOT LOVE

Maybe another way of phrasing my question would be, if you guage your growth in love by the lessons you have learned, how do you know that you have actually learned that lesson? Is it just a feeling of being stronger or more accepting of the ups and downs in love? Did something in your behavior change for the better?

Well thats the thing. Like Motowndowntown said, there is no degree in love . All there is, is growth in whatever way we define it. So this queston is just asking how do we assess if we have in fact grown in the area of love? And your answer about understanding and accepting your mate's communication is actually a credible answer I think :)

So you define progress by the sustainance of your faith and persistance in love despite all the challenges in the past. Sounds good Goof!

Thats interesting Max. You may have a point there. Sometimes the partners we choose are progressively better than the last in terms of compatability and reciprocity of feelings even if the relationship doesnt go the distance. At least you know what a more suitable partner feels like. Very good point Max! :)

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

I think I will answer your topic in a different way.

I have come to believe we are all given a certain amount of love.

Each person receives a different amount.

Every time you love somebody you spend a little of that love.

After a while the amount of love you have left to spend dwindles down.

Young love is full of glee and excitement, and most appreciate watching it.

After your love bucket has been mostly depleted the love you give is mostly sensible and closer to boring.

Good answer

I wouldn't.
Love doesn't grow.
Love serves it's purpose in the procreation process and is replaced by other things, emotional bonds and associations influencing self image, that are stronger.


IMO these don't really measure growth so much as hoop jumping.
You can acquire all sorts of knowledge and tricks and promotions with no personal growth whatsoever.


Ease of communication and acceptance, relationship adaptability to change?
Doesn't really measure "growth" though so much as bonding.

Well opinions will vary on this, but I dont think love is so limited in its capacity. Think of how the depth and quality of love in a person often grows after having a child. Some may argue that the love was always inately present, but maybe never given enough motivation for expression. Who knows? But at the very least we know that our expression of love can increase with what we deem as the right motivation.

I agree Krissy

Very well said Goofball! I agree with what you said 100% the best lesson in life is knowing what love is all about. That even after what you have been through in life , your heart has never hardened but rather take each lessons you learned to become a better person and continue to have faith that love is everywhere, in everything and ever present. For everything and every actions , what inspires us is the love in our hearts. We are all a work in progress driven by love that's bestowed upon us by our Creator

Hi Pegs!

Is he your secret crush?

No krissy. No one in this thread

I don't easily fall in love but I know for sure I did this last time.

You just feel it. I don't think a million lessons is going to bring you to a higher state of love.