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| Topic: RED FLAGS FOR RELATIONSHIP DISASTER | |
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Well I won't say one but three important things which will make me change directions -
1. Suspicious or non trusting nature --> Constantly checking and imagining another women in my life. 2. Crazy eyes 3. Too much self centred nature (selfish) |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Tue 08/02/16 08:32 PM
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Calls or text messages around the same time daily Well I guess some would view that as attentiveness ., but maybe you view it as clingy? Welcome to the forum Stacy :) |
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Well I won't say one but three important things which will make me change directions - 1. Suspicious or non trusting nature --> Constantly checking and imagining another women in my life. 2. Crazy eyes 3. Too much self centred nature (selfish) Hi Jimmy 
Excessive suspicion drives me crazy. Its such a waste of energy., and no one wants a selfish mate so I relate. I never thought about the crazy eye angle before , but they are the windows of the soul after all, and few people consciously want a crazy soul :) PS: The friend you wrote about in your last thread generated some mighty strong red flags 
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Well I won't say one but three important things which will make me change directions - 1. Suspicious or non trusting nature --> Constantly checking and imagining another women in my life. 2. Crazy eyes 3. Too much self centred nature (selfish) Hi Jimmy
Excessive suspicion drives me crazy. Its such a waste of energy., and no one wants a selfish mate so I relate. I never thought about the crazy eye angle before , but they are the windows of the soul after all, and few people consciously want a crazy soul :) PS: The friend you wrote about in your last thread generated some mighty strong red flags
Hahaha eyes are the windows of the soul not crazy eyes, it is way to find whether a person is crazy or obsessive. He is red flagged because he lied or because of suicidal thoughts?? |
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Well I won't say one but three important things which will make me change directions - 1. Suspicious or non trusting nature --> Constantly checking and imagining another women in my life. 2. Crazy eyes 3. Too much self centred nature (selfish) Hi Jimmy
Excessive suspicion drives me crazy. Its such a waste of energy., and no one wants a selfish mate so I relate. I never thought about the crazy eye angle before , but they are the windows of the soul after all, and few people consciously want a crazy soul :) PS: The friend you wrote about in your last thread generated some mighty strong red flags
Hahaha eyes are the windows of the soul not crazy eyes, it is way to find whether a person is crazy or obsessive. He is red flagged because he lied or because of suicidal thoughts?? All of the above Jimmy |
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need a friend
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need a friend
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I'm cautious by nature.. having been burned a few times(haven't we all been).. so I usually start looking from the moment we start talking.. I'll ask pertinent questions to see what the answers will be.. then after a few email exchanges I'll revisit the original questions with a slight variation and see if the constancy holds.. I listen to my gut too.. and typically nip it in the bud before we even meet! am I closing myself off to opportunities? perhaps.. but if I see/read/hear things that I know aren't attractive to me.. I figure why waste each others time!?! Don't get me wrong.. I may be guarded, but I'm not jaded! admittedly though.. I'm a student of human behavior with a degree in psychology.. so I guess I kinda cheat  and probably why I've been single so long 
Hi Zee
Your point about using your gut is soooooooooo important. We women are always second guessing ourselves , and fighting our instincts, thinking that we always need detailed evidence to validate what our gut is telling us. But sometimes our gut doesnt need that much evidence. It discerns a lot more that we cant see. With age, I think a woman's instinct is her best friend :) ^^^^^ this!!! And a few more concrete things: - Any signs that would indicate he's a narcissist. - Still on the rebound / talking about his ex all the time - he needs your help to heal (talks about himself and his pain, his ex, his troubles etc.) meaning you become his therapist ---> run for the hills! - has no male friends at all, and never really did, and esp if he has female contacts only --> run! - He has nothing going on for himself in his life, no passion, no hobbies and no goal in life - flirts with every woman he sees and for me esp if they're young girls. |
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I'm cautious by nature.. having been burned a few times(haven't we all been).. so I usually start looking from the moment we start talking.. I'll ask pertinent questions to see what the answers will be.. then after a few email exchanges I'll revisit the original questions with a slight variation and see if the constancy holds.. I listen to my gut too.. and typically nip it in the bud before we even meet! am I closing myself off to opportunities? perhaps.. but if I see/read/hear things that I know aren't attractive to me.. I figure why waste each others time!?! Don't get me wrong.. I may be guarded, but I'm not jaded! admittedly though.. I'm a student of human behavior with a degree in psychology.. so I guess I kinda cheat and probably why I've been single so long
Hi Zee
Your point about using your gut is soooooooooo important. We women are always second guessing ourselves , and fighting our instincts, thinking that we always need detailed evidence to validate what our gut is telling us. But sometimes our gut doesnt need that much evidence. It discerns a lot more that we cant see. With age, I think a woman's instinct is her best friend :) ^^^^^ this!!! And a few more concrete things: - Any signs that would indicate he's a narcissist. - Still on the rebound / talking about his ex all the time - he needs your help to heal (talks about himself and his pain, his ex, his troubles etc.) meaning you become his therapist ---> run for the hills! - has no male friends at all, and never really did, and esp if he has female contacts only --> run! - He has nothing going on for himself in his life, no passion, no hobbies and no goal in life - flirts with every woman he sees and for me esp if they're young girls. I particularly agree with steering away from the person who has no passion in their own life because this will likely lead to you being their only reason for living. Yikes! |
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A penis is a total deal breaker for me.  On a more serious note comparing me to their exes and talking about them excessively. I am an original and do not like to be compared to others. Nor do I want to hear about them all the time. It kinda makes me wonder if a person is ready to be dating at all. Those should be things you put behind you before getting back out there.
Good point Lionsbrew. No one wants to be compared excessively to an ex , but I do think that a person can unwittingly say or do something , which can involuntarily trigger off negative episodes assciated with their ex, and it requires a high amount of self awareness to reign in those connflicting thoughts and energies. Alot of people lack that ability and actually require professional counselling to keep it in check. I'm pretty empathetic to how people are and if your going to treat someone a certain way because of someone else you should not be out dating and should be getting the help you need instead. Its obvious if its bad enough where it requires therapy you're still hung up on that person. I'm fine with being there for my friends but I don't want to date someone who is hung up on someone else. Not to mention I personally get irritated when I'm compared to others so I couldn't be with them romantically. |
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A penis is a total deal breaker for me. On a more serious note comparing me to their exes and talking about them excessively. I am an original and do not like to be compared to others. Nor do I want to hear about them all the time. It kinda makes me wonder if a person is ready to be dating at all. Those should be things you put behind you before getting back out there.
Good point Lionsbrew. No one wants to be compared excessively to an ex , but I do think that a person can unwittingly say or do something , which can involuntarily trigger off negative episodes assciated with their ex, and it requires a high amount of self awareness to reign in those connflicting thoughts and energies. Alot of people lack that ability and actually require professional counselling to keep it in check. I'm pretty empathetic to how people are and if your going to treat someone a certain way because of someone else you should not be out dating and should be getting the help you need instead. Its obvious if its bad enough where it requires therapy you're still hung up on that person. I'm fine with being there for my friends but I don't want to date someone who is hung up on someone else. Not to mention I personally get irritated when I'm compared to others so I couldn't be with them romantically. I agree with you Lionsbrew. If its to that extreme,that they are victimising their innocent mate, then they probably arent ready for a relationship, Nobody needs that kind of stress 
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