there is a black guy that i met not on this site but on another and we have been talking for a few months and he came down 800miles in september to see me when i was in the hospitol for one day that provded alot.. (dont you think) and then he came down just resontly for a few days to visit. and the way my mom acts she sounds racisit. its hard to talk to her so i was going to have my daughter talk to her for me.. as john was wanting to come down for thanksgiving and even offered to make the dinner which was very nice of him. but i dont want ot hurt his feelings either......he really wants to met my family and im not sure what ot say to him about thanksgiving as i dont want ot hurt his feelings....

Tell him the truth... Not saying anything is only going to make matters worse. I Have dated some white men that had parents that did not approve needless to say the relationship did not last, I would not want to come between family for any reason and if he decent he will understand the situation.

Tell him the truth and if he is a sweet as you say, he will understand.....BUT, I myself woudn't let family come between me and a possible soul mate

It'd be much better if you tell him before he finds out himself. And if he's unable to understand that it's not your feelings or fault, then he's not the right guy for you. Hopefully he'll understand and work with you on that.

When little boys and girls become women and men; They become seperated from their moms and dads. Here's the bottom line: If she doesn't like him based on his race; I guess you should do what you want to do. As an adult you make your own choices whether other adults like it or not. :)

Yup tell him the truth and after ya do that, have a talk with your mother (who cares if it's tough) and let her know that she has no say so in who you like/love. If she gives you any lip, give her some right back.

Ya no doubt, you have to tell him the truth. Regardless of how your family will feel towards him, as long as you keep it honest with ur black boy toy you guys shouldn't have any problems between the two of you. Which in my opinion is the most important anyway.

the whole decision has to be up to you not the rest of the family
if he is someone that you ant to spend the holiday with then make plans to go where you too can feel welcome and not fall into all your families hang ups

follow what your heart wants not what you think you should do for someone else

yes I agree that telling him the truth is the best way to go. I've dated Black women myself, and I know that many times the parents are opposed to that. But if that is the man you want to be with, your mom will have to accept it sooner or later.

get the movie guess whos coming to dinner

and invite yer family to watch it with you

My family showed me their true side when I was dating a black woman. I cannot get over their covert racism. They taught us different as kids. I never gave it a second thought.

Color blind I am to race and ethnicity..etc. But you never know.

Talk to your family and see where they're really at.

Hope it goes well for YOU and your friend

i agree with dmb,who the hell cares what your parents think.are you going to let your mom or dad decide who you're going to date?.i would tell your mom you have feelings for the guy and she needs to live with it!

I agree with everyone else. Just sit him down and tell him the situation. He'll either understand or he won't and then ya'll can go on from there.

Wish ya'll the best!

Tell the truth and then slowly work the fear away. It's fear that makes people not trust in others cultures.

In fact that's one way to explain it. There must be some info on the web about approaching the subject matter so that it doesn't go all balistic.

J

You should discuss things with both of them. you and him should talk about it. Also you and your mom, not her and your daughter. Then plan the best situation from there.

geeeeeez what year is it??? 2007???

Yea really, who knows if this kind of stuff will ever stop. It's such a waste of time...too bad the entire world doesn't think like us eh?

You should go with your heart...what is it telling you to do?

JSUT BE HONEST WITH HIM.....TALK WITH YOUR MOTHER ALSO AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM.....EITHER SHE NEEDS TO EXCEPT YOUR CHOICES OR NOT BE INVOLVED WITH YOUR LIFE....YOUR NOT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE

It is YOUR life & YOUR happiness that matters.
Your family can turn their back, at their LOSS.
Many of us have crossed the racial boundaries.
Color is only skin deep, love can't see it.