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Topic: the importance of singleness
alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 09:52 AM
There is nothing wrong to be single but loneliness is a problem. Singleness helps you to discover yourself ,prepare yourself to be ready for a relationship which could lead to marriage. The problem we face today ,we jump into things without preparing

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 09:58 AM
Im a single guy dated a lady recently but I've discovered that we were not meant to be, I've spent time preparing myself so that I know what is expected of me. As a man that have a vision you don't want to bring somebody into your life that will destroy that vision.

no photo
Tue 07/26/16 09:59 AM
That's why you need to take it slow, being hasty will often crush your dreams. :smile:

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 10:10 AM
Hi Dravin ,yes brother ,I'm taking it real slow now, I think the best way to start a relationship is to be friends first, and take it from there.

Angeinthebox's photo
Tue 07/26/16 10:22 AM
A lady, moving on high heels, has a lower speed than a gentleman on wheels ...

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 10:41 AM
Smiles, I see you like high heels

no photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:09 PM
There is nothing wrong to be single

There might be.
The more you do anything, the more practice you have at doing that thing, the more comfortable you get in doing that thing.

If you're going to be single, have lots of relationships with friends, family, coworkers, in general, IMO.

Ask anyone that's been married for 40 years what it's like to just be dumped into the dating pool.

loneliness is a problem

Loneliness is a push to not be single, because single can be problematic.

Singleness helps you to discover yourself

Relationships are better at that, IMO.
If you want to know what you look like, do you just look at yourself?
Or do you find a mirror?
Relationships = mirrors. How you treat and interact with people is reflected back at you. Who you are is reflected back at you.
Then the danger comes from the cracked, warped, and funhouse ones that give you a distorted image. e.g. if all your relationships are based on internet/text/email/impersonal interaction.

prepare yourself to be ready for a relationship

IMO this is like saying "staying out of school allows you to do nothing but think about how to prepare yourself to go to school."

The problem we face today ,we jump into things without preparing

IMO the problem we face today is we try to over prepare, or by not thinking and only jumping into things focused on how we should feel afterwards.

You can't learn to swim by building a boat first.
You can't learn to swim by jumping into any random body of water because you think swimming will make you happy.



no photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:22 PM
I don't get lonely very often, and there is nothing wrong with being single.Not everyone should be looking to get married. It's not for everyone.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:27 PM
So far so good, OP.

In my experience and observation, people have to make mistakes in several directions before they really understand themselves and the world. So my on word of caution to you would be not to come down on yourself too badly if your latest strategy turns out to have drawbacks of a different kind than the rush-into-love approach you've set aside.

Always more to learn.

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:29 PM
You can be in a relationship and still be lonely.

Seakolony's photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:36 PM

There is nothing wrong to be single but loneliness is a problem. Singleness helps you to discover yourself ,prepare yourself to be ready for a relationship which could lead to marriage. The problem we face today ,we jump into things without preparing


Being single does not mean loneliness by any means. I like being single. The.only reason I get lonely is by allowing myself to be lonely.

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 02:58 PM
I am really sorry if you got dumped after 40years. Like I said singleness is important, when a cake flops you look at the ingredients, the problem might not have been with you , bt there was a problem before you got married, that thing was brought into the marriage by the single one. Sex and love doesn't keep a marriage together but information, as a single guy I'm learning the needs and wants of a woman so that I know what is. The needs of a woman is different from the needs of a man.

Beachfarmer's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:00 PM
I'd like to think that I am being prepared for the greatness of a soul that I can be worthy of.......then I am worthy of the same preparedness.

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:00 PM
To be honest before God, the devil is fighting marriages, and woman if you don't pray for your husband or marriage the devil will destroy it.

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:02 PM

I am really sorry if you got dumped after 40years. Like I said singleness is important, when a cake flops you look at the ingredients, the problem might not have been with you , bt there was a problem before you got married, that thing was brought into the marriage by the single one. Sex and love doesn't keep a marriage together but information, as a single guy I'm learning the needs and wants of a woman so that I know what is. The needs of a woman is different from the needs of a man.


I agree that relationships would do better with more cake.

alchayil's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:03 PM

I'd like to think that I am being prepared for the greatness of a soul that I can be worthy of.......then I am worthy of the same preparedness.


a prudent wife is from the Lord, brother I pray that God sent you the right wife

Beachfarmer's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:03 PM
GOSH!!! I love cake!

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:04 PM

GOSH!!! I love cake!


Me too. Let's find a wife who will bake us cake!

Beachfarmer's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:07 PM


GOSH!!! I love cake!


Me too. Let's find a wife who will bake us cake!


If she's ok with being barefoot...cool

Ruth34611's photo
Tue 07/26/16 03:07 PM
Edited by Ruth34611 on Tue 07/26/16 03:08 PM



GOSH!!! I love cake!


Me too. Let's find a wife who will bake us cake!


If she's ok with being barefoot...cool


Well she'd have to be to make good cake.

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