I spelled that wrong it is cuckhold, sorry

Move on my freind. Big world out there. Why do you desire abuse to him/ her/you/it?

Let me tell you a little secret...you my friend will NEVER get over your first love!! You will always have a special place in your heart for her...BUT you have to know when its time to put it all behind you.
You can not live in the past. It sounds like its time to move on. I am sure that you are not out to hurt anyone, but trust me...when you have time apart, things are never the same.
You are young and there are going to be so many girlfriends that come in and out of your life. Pick up the pieces of your heart and move on with it. In the end, you will be very glad you did!!
I just went through all of this with my son...he became very unstable, trust me...no woman is worth that!!!

Hey Buddy that is a sticky situation WOW !! umm you gotta think to yourself is breaking them up going to solve anything ? it will just make things worse because she will chances are be pissed at you, the only thing I can say is maybe a mircle will happen and they will break up, don't stress over this buddy because too much stress can cause too many problems

I'm not, and I say again, NOT going to break them up. I refuse to do that, that's just low lifeish and I don't want her to hate me. I just know they won't last because I ran track with him for 2 years and dated her for almost a year. I know them both well and know it won't work. I'm just wating for the it won't work part to kick in...

Until then, I'm going to continue being her friend, and I might tell her how i feel when I go home in 6 weeks on christmas break. By then i'll have been back in her life and not freak her out by coming out of no where...

- Brandon

sounds like a good idea.. i wish you luck no matter what ends up happening

Like I said, the overwhelming position you're going to find is the "move on" theory. Keep in mind, I'm not saying you have to go with my suggestion, either. Keep it impartial and make a choice. Either say something or don't - but do it because you choose the path, not because the path chooses you.

And, bottom line, don't let us affect what you do. That's what personal choice is all about. I especially think unsure's point is an important one to examine. Be sure of your motivation before you take action.

Up to this point I've been willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that your impression of things is valid. I notice a lot of other posts are pretty much just the canned "find another fish in that big, wide sea" crap - and if you're anything like me, a bunch of formulaic propaganda is not what you're looking for.

So how about some questions? Btw, don't answer them to me - answer them to yourself. I don't need to know.

1) Why do you want her back? Really consider that one, hard.
2) What do you know, objectively, about her current relationship?
3) In what manner do you really see some quality you have as superior?
4) Would she feel the same?
5) Does she still even care about you, or has she moved on?
6) If she does still want you, do you want to say something?

These are all points to consider objectively. But most importantly, do not accept other people's negative impressions. Just because something didn't work for them or because they never had the courage to try it with someone who really mattered to them is no excuse for you to do the same. Who knows? You might succeed. It takes all kinds.

u had your chance so now let him have his without you getting involved

Find someone in The Springs. I've been there. They have girls.

Haha, finding a girl in the springs as a four degree at USAFA is like trying to find water in the desert. They like all the upperclassmen who aren't wearing service dress.

Why are you still here, when you aren't 18 yet?

why dont you concentrate on school and leave the girl alone.She's just not that in to ya....

I'm wondering how much loneliness is playing into your feelings for this girl....It would seem that you saw somthing in her when you were together that you considered a " deal breaker" so you broke it off....and now you have decided that it wasn't that bad. It would be really wise to remember what it was and to seriously consider it, because most often our initial impressions are the most accurate, and you really need to pay attention so that you will make better choices for yourself.
Since you are having problems meeting someone where you are at, I suggest you take up a hobby that will help the time pass, as I know you will not be there for very long! The services like to move you around every two years! Building model cars or ships is an excellent hobby and something you can keep forever or give as gifts...any way,,,darn this was long winded! sorry!
Good Luck

HotandSpicey, I originally broke up with her because I was afraid of trying to handle a long distance relationship while being 1500 miles away, she had no character flaws nor did I that affected our relationship, we were perfectly happy when we broke up. I'm stationed here at USAFA for 1302 more days....that's quite a long time, I try to pass the time by running, I run upwards of 95 miles a week sometimes.

And I spent yesterday talking to her two best friends and both seem very much ok with me still being into her and me dating her again and were up for the idea when her and her bf fall apart...

Just will take time.

You know whats funny is...this has nothing to do with her girlfriends at all. I am sure if she knew how her girlfriends felt, she wouldn't be to happy. Have you ever thought that maybe her girlfriends liked her boyfriend? Women can be very coniving...they will say anything to the ex to try to get him back with her to take away the new boyfriend!! So just stop and think about that for a bit!!
I think you are putting way to much energy in this whole situation. Why don't you put this much energy into trying to get over her? I think in the end you are going to find that you wasted your time for a stupid little girl that liked to play mind games!! Move on my friend, move on!!!

I do appreciate your point of view as you are entitled to one. Her friends aren't that coniving. I think it's very hard for you all to understand. I've pretty much decided what i'm going to do. Using all of your opinions and what my family and friends say. I don't put things behind me that easily. I don't expect her to come back, and don't want her to unless she's happy. And if she doesn't that's find, at least she'll know how I felt and that's all I care about, I can't quit until she knows it...

And you can never put to much energy into anything in life. My life is filled with energy and anything I do I shall do it with a passion and not care how the end result comes out....

It's not that hard to understand, dude. Everyone here is speaking from three things - history's perspective, the odds, and their own fears/limits.

A note on reading people that might help you here - because I completely agree with unsure as to the potential motivation of your ex's girlfriends. Look back over each statement here. What you're reading from all of us isn't just our words - it's a strong clue into the character of each of us.

I'm a risk-taker. Unsure is a pragmatist (refreshingly so, in fact) with a good handle on the odds. A lot of people on here are just making snap judgements based most likely on their own failures.

It sounds to me like you've made a decision - and I don't suggest you buck that decision. I will admit, it's not the decision I'd make. But I do recommend that you really examine that decision and all of the potential motivation you see here.

Truth is, regardless of how impressive this woman is to you - she is but human, just like you. Every disguised emotio0n you've seen here - rage, jealousy, resignation, capitulation, anger, hope, trust, and love - could easilly be elements of her persona you are willing to ignore for the sake of positive aspects.

I do deny one assertion. I think anyone who forces or expends energy in "getting over someone" is at best repressing their feelings. It takes energy to latch on to something. It takes peace and relaxation to let something go.

Probably my last 2 cents on this subject, but keep in mind that the decision you make today isn't the one you have to hang onto forever. But I do urge either confronting the issue or moving on. if you respect yourself, don't just wait for her. The one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that she is not coming back on her own. Ever. You can either take direct action, or give up. The middle ground is you wait, alone, for a very long time. years, if ever.

Good luck.

I'll take direct action next time I see her.

Your advice has been priceless...

- Brandon

heyy im reli sorry if im takin the spot light from any1 that needs advice but got a prob that i want ppl to help me out wid plz. it goes a lil like this:

i been wid this girl called amy for 5months now we split up once but got bk 2gether but we have came to wall amy plays hockey and still goes to school i work n play rugby for my local team onli problem is we never seem to see each other as during the week in at work n shes at skwl n at weekend she has hockey i have rugby, cut the story short we had an argument coz i said i dnt see enough of her she plans to go uni in summer 2008 and we planned to stay 2gether but i feel is it worth ending this now as we never see each other or continue i love her to bits but it just doesnt see mlike she puts the effort in to see me, but heres the otha part of my problem i have interest from another gal who used to be amys old school m8 yrs bk n weve became reli good m8z it just seems that poppy (which is her name btw) just seems to put the effort in even thou she lives further away andworks! just makes me feel like amy is not treatin me ryt! i have told amy that i will give her a week to make things ryt n show to me that we can work n she has agreed

i do not know if that was ryt thing to do but i didnt know what to do any advice on this would be much appreciated

sorry its so long

ash

wow this is more complicated then your ex leaving you for your friend and then getting her pregnant your senior year woo and i though i was bad!