I still never get how men think it's interesting to start a FIRST conversation (online) by telling her their entire resume.
Do I care?

It's informing me, not conversing with me. I don't need to receive strangers' resumes in my inbox.

Would you do that in real life too if you'd see a lady of interest?
Walk over to her and say, "Hi, I'm XXX by name. I'm a construction worker/banker/whatever and I have 2 kids. I'm hard working man, and I'd love to take care of you! Can we be friends?"

Do you really expect her to say? "Yes please!"
Or is it more likely she'd call out for help and run for the hills?

I am not certain if this is something western men do (too), but many who do this at least claim to be from a western country.
Why do I add this? Cos I find it hard to believe western men in this day and age would be so devoid of good communication skills?

So I'm wondering, is this how you approach women online? Do yo really not know what the heck to say to a woman to start a conversation?

DISCLAIMER: before ppl start having a tantrum ... I do not know if women do this too, cos I don't receive messages from women (unless they're forum friends).

Unless it includes their police record, I'm not interested.

On topics such as this, I am normally the first to comment. And the post somehow gets deleted.
I would like to lead with a question involving my lucky number 69, but I end up with 666...sign of the devil...Most women, somehow, like the I am a devil reference....and so the conversation begins....women??

I usually open up with "Hi", "Hello", or "Never mind" if she's out of my league.

What do you mean out of your league...the only ones out of our league Scoob, are the ones we would not touch , with a 10 foot pole.....Paris Hilton for one....lol....And if they were out of our league, they would not appear here.....lol.....

Didn't mean just on here, meant in daily out amongst people life...I know when to not even say anything, just keep going on my way.

Having a wicked and witty way of opening a conversations is great!
And it suits you. Did not see you as a man who'd say "Hi dear. Can we be friends?"

I never did any date I believe blind love because love is heartly agreement boy n girl

Did not see me as such...ha ha u funny....but its true....Hi dear. Can we be friends" is a scammer's opening line.....if they read my profile at all, that would not be what I was looking for......unless they added the WB part...lol...then I would be in, up to the hilt....lmao...

Aww dont be too hard on them..at least they made an effort to say somethimg more than just 'Hey', 'Hi' or 'ur hot'..what the hecks a girl supposed to say to that?!..help him out, suggest some better lines..guys arent very good at this sort of thing, its actually really hard for them to get a reply even when they do manage to come up with a good line, chicks still leave them hanging. Have mercy on them, you might be missing out on a really good thing.

I get my eye on the girl I am looking at, hit the dance floor, and then break it down. Once she is mesmerized with how goofy I look on the floor, she almost always buys me a drink. After that....we go and chat while playing Mini Golf. Works every time.....66% of the time.

Oh my ... getting naughty here!
*somebody bring me a fan, temperature's suddenly gone up!*
Oh hang on a sec ... I haven't got WB in my profile... I guess I'm safe.
How boring!

Yeah, I do get that, but there's cases where I think there's little hope, haha.
Like if I'd sent a guy a message that starts with:
"I really love my job, I take great pride in it, it makes me who I am. So I'm real happy about it!"

Do I care? Glad he's got a job and all, but if that's his opening line ...
It's not a job interview, is it? It should be something that peaks a woman's interest.

IF IT'S ONLINE I USE:

I need help spending my money.

or

Hey your special. (If the woman seems stupid)
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IF IT'S IN A BAR/CLUB I USE:

Hey! You look great for your age? (I have no idea how old she is)

or

Does you boyfriend beat you a lot? Because I wouldn't beat you that much.

or

Nnnnaaaaaaaaaa. (if she is very attractive and obviously stuck up. I say this after looking her up and down while shaking my head back and forth.)
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IF IT'S IN A STRIP CLUB I USE:

I sure would! Go tell her to come over here. (I say this after an annoying stripper asks me if I want a dance. First I smile at her. Then I look her up and down. Then I point to someone else.)
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It does not matter what you say to anybody. All that matters is how you / your picture looks. That fact that nobody NEEDs anybody else to live the only obvious thing that remains is looks. We are all guilty of this. We all decide whether we are interested or not in the first 2 seconds. After that it doesn't really matter. Hence the site Hot or Not. That's the only r e a l dating site.
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IF IT'S ON THE STREET:

I have some crack. (this is the only line that works 100% of the time. Feel free to use it.)

Ooops...sorry did not realize I was being naughty.....and a fan was suddenly required...what if I was close by.....lol...Boring would not make an appearence huh???

Highly unlikely! I like it when a man can keep up! Mentally of course.

Good Point.

So you're into pity-dates? Works 66% of the time ... but it'll never get you at the altar again!
Oh, you don't want that thou sayest? No need to start swearing, bloody 'ell!

That's pretty much what you're saying with your first line.

If you don't get something...wouldn't you want as much information as possible in order to figure something out?

But you're saying you don't want information and don't care about the information you are actually presented.
What do you think that means?


All conversations require some kind of informing process.
"Look at that guy, can you believe that?"
"Can you believe that?"

One is informing you of something you may not be aware of...and starting a conversation.

The other is just a vague pointless question which allows you to have all sorts of conversations in your head like "wtf are they talking about, and why me?"


Real life is not the internet.

You can't start conversations online the same way you do offline.
You aren't in a dynamic environment where you can rely on gestures and tone and body language.

You have to provide some kind of context.

Not to mention, in real life you don't have to rely so much on conversation and words. People figure out very quickly if they want the most basic approach to lead to anything more than the other person just going away, and most of that decision is not based on what comes out of the mouth.

I would bet anything if in real life you said "hello" to someone and they could just kinda disappear and not respond at all in any way whatsoever leaving absolutely no clue, literally just transported away like in Star Trek as soon as you said a single word to them, people would start putting out as much information as possible before that happened.

Online people have the option of just saying nothing. No wry looks, no sighs, no running away, no rolling of the eyes, no cold shoulder, no "I've got to go now."
Just absolutely nothing with absolutely no meaning is not possible offline.

Other than that, look at this thread.
You "could" have simply typed: "how you approach women?"
With nothing else.
But you chose to "inform" the relevance and context of the question, you filled in what you felt was relevant information.
Specialized to the situation. A forum which some people use for discussion of specific topics.


Based on recent and numerous general forums it seems there's no way to actually start a conversation with a woman online unless you can read her mind through the internet.

You get:
- "Get to the point. Don't treat email/text/messenger like you're having a regular conversation."
- "Why do guys only ask questions and don't talk about themselves giving short answers? Does that mean not interested?"
- "Why do guys give TMI about themselves? Don't they know how to have a conversation?"
- "I want to get to know someone online before I meet/date them."

I think it should be mandatory for women to have absolutely no control over their profile. They can only choose from a limited set of contact templates to be listed on their profile.


People have specialized communication skills.
Specialized to the relationships and purposes they routinely have.
With complete strangers, in an increasingly diverse culture and society, specialized communication skills aren't effective for simplistic situations. That requires people to fall back on more basic and simplistic skills.
"This all me offer. You want?"

No wonder dating apps are so popular; "swipe right, swipe left, no talky talky."