My 18)she will be 19 in July) daughter just told me she is pregnant. She told me over the phone luckily she wasn't here to see me punch a wall.

I don't know how to react at all. She had everything going for her, National Honor Society, scholarship to law school and now she said she doesn't want that she want's a certification in business management and Photography.

She is pretty guarded about the guy and wont tell me much, and honestly I want to rip him apart.

I made it sound lie I was happy for her on the phone but I am pretty upset, disappointed, livid and feel like it is my fault (there is a history there).

She's throwing her whole life away and there is nothing I can do.

I have never felt so helpless in my life.

do you value your relationship with your daughter?

sounds like before this happened she was re-evaluating her choices in her degree and the direction she wanted to go


perhaps she felt like she could not confide in her parents
was worried about how they might react if she chose a new path


what do you think?

I think it's perfectly natural for a parent to get upset when their grown child who is now an adult

decides to do something that the parent may not agree with

bottom line...legally she is recognized as an adult capable of making her own decisions


now I am certain that becoming a mother at this age was not her intention
when she fell in love with this young man but this is the result of that union


take a deep breath...grandpa

ya got nine months to get ready

my son decided to get married at 19
became a father at the age of 21

At the moment you want to rip someone's head off. I get that.
Go to the boxing ring and get it our of your system

It's not the end of the world.
Your daughter has obviously thought through this.

Having a baby isn't going to stop her from doing what her passion is
It just means a little delay.

Don't let this destroy your relationship with her.
Be open to possibilities.
Support and love them both
Build a foundation of that before the baby comes.

When that baby is placed in your arms you will melt.

Enjoy your family because you don't know how long you have them for amd if you get all negative you could push them away and then you will only have regret and unforgiveness.

It is going to happen.
You can choose right now whether to handle
it gracefully..or otherwise.

I am pretty upset, disappointed, livid

That's exactly what I would of felt, with mine.

She actually made the school decision because of him.

I heard in the first three months it's very easy to lose a baby. I am going to be praying every day for that.

I don't want to rip the guys head off, that's to painless LOL. But seriously I am going to have a come to Jesus talk with this little punk when I meet him.

I am not being negative, but just by looking at him he is a POS, and yes I did stoop to the level and had a friend of mine run his criminal background. This guys not a really good guy.

I have to ask, what makes you think she's throwing her life away? Before you jump the gun, why don't you just sit down and talk to her and the guy sensibly, over a dinner or something, where everyone can be civil, and discuss things?

She'll appreciate your willing to reach out.

As a parent, your reaction is understandably normal......Angry, frustrated, disappointed, worried and protective. Let it out but not in a violent way. Talk to your daughter and the guy sensibly, for this is the time that they need your love, support and understanding. This is an accident and both of them surely didn't want this to happen....but what done is done, they have to learn to face the consequence of their action and all you could do for now is to be there for them and direct or guide them. Make them understand the responsibilities they will be facing in having a child at an early age. Discuss what their plans are, and if you think you are not agreeable to their decisions, explain and make them understand. If you are a conservative type , I am sure you want them to get married but then I would say marriage is not a solution to one mistake, but if you think both of them have the courage to face responsibility then marriage is just the right thing. Let them learn from their own mistake to grow and develop. Pregnancy is not a hindrance to finish her schooling and achieve her dreams in life. She could still continue to fulfill what you wanted and dreamed for her.

Don't blame yourself , it is not your fault this happened to your daughter. They are both adults, and have a mind of their own and a decision to choose what is right or wrong. I am sure you have done your duties as a parent

May the birth of a little angel be a blessing to your family

It's ok I have someone who does the same for me lol.
I had a feeling you wouldn't rip his head off even though you feel pretty annoyed.
I understand you checking him out and good on you. They are and will always be our babies.
I am gulty of it too .
I hope it all works out for you all.

Even in situations like this something beautiful can come out of it and be used for God's glory.
God is a giver of life.

becoming a parent can change someone if he wants to rise to the challenge

Have you considered what losing a child in that way might do to your daughter emotionally?

My daughter texted me and said in her text...
"Dad I need to talk with you - I have some bad news"

At first I thought to myself, she is pregnant and not married.

The thing with society is that its okay to be pregnant if your'e married
And not okay if your'e not married.

So anyway, later that evening we spoke on the phone (not texting)

And my daughter said...
I lost the bracelet you bought me :(
I'm sorry.....

It was at that moment that I realised,
even if she was pregnant, it wouldn't have mattered.
Because I love her and she has a life to live of her own.

And that sometimes, that's how we learn...
Sure, your mom and pop will give you their BEST advice,
because they don't want you to make the same mistakes as they did....
but as children or as in this case, adolescents,
(caught halfway between being a child and an adult)

we think the world is our oyster and nothing is impossible
And that's just youth for you.
WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE - EVEN US!!

There are many worse things than being pregnant,
like being in a car accident...

Be thankful your daughter has her health,
because health is wealth....
And everything else will into place sooner or later

And besides that, it's NEVER too late to finish studying,
Many mature students take their exams and qualify for degrees and masters and such like even later into life, so really its not the end of her career.


Never say never!
Good luck to you both and her partner too.

Suck it up....quit punching walls and hoping for spontaneous abortions. You're gonna be a grandpa....start acting like it.

I lost my daughter at 3. I'd give my left nut for her to be here and give me a grandbaby one day.

What can you say Op.. kids these days... look on the upside she could be 16.... and have no boyfriend...
.. like everything in life shitthappens..
You're a grandpa while you're still young enough to enjoy it...

. I mean really what can you do you either Embrace this hard fact...
Are you don't.... that's up to you...
It's not like you can undo what's being done....yup

Because, having her I'm not saying screwed up my life but it limited my options and blew a full ride scholarship for law school

Believe me, I plan on sitting down and having a talk with this guy. I very serious come to Jesus talk.

I am the conservative type, if you have seen my posts in the political section but I damn sure don't think someone should jump the gun on marriage because of a kid. If they are in love we will have that discussion if the guy is still breathing after my come to Jesus talk with him