Bigmaq that does not always work in the real world lol.

If they call you a dumb azz biotch does it make it true? No, of course not.

Stop looking for reasons to be offended. Don't take things so personally. After all what is hurt? Your ego. The who of you is unharmed.

Sure there are definitely times to stand up for yourself ... but doing it from a place of authentic power within yourrself is much different than letting our ego throw a hissy fit.

Actually, it is effective more often than not. I use it everyday in my line of work. Throughout my Psychology courses, I've intergrated the BIBLE and ZEN (Buddhism), with the observed psyche. I have had many situations where, all put together, the bad situations have ended good.

ArtGurl you're so right on the money.

Well I can tell you that with some of the people I have met, you try that on them and most likely you would be in an ambulance on your way to the hospital lol.

Omg, and school. My daughter was messed with by kids all the time because she was shy. She would come home just wounded from all the name calling. It was horrible. I tried to tell her to ignore it, but how can you ignore somebody in your face calling you names like that. She got thru it and never had one fight, thank god. Now, she is one of the biggest (tallest) kids in her class and she does not take the mess anymore. She puts these kids right in their place if they say something crazy to her.

Is she wrong for defending herself when somebody messes with her. That's the only way she can keep the idiots away.
It's kind of a defence mechanism I guess. It's a reflex, but I figure once you get to be an adult, that would all dissappear, but no, there are adults who are just as mean and rude as those kids.

As artgurl said, you do have to defend yourself sometimes.

Talk does not always work.

I tell them that I am over 21 and when they pay all my bills and feed me and put a roof over my head then they have a right to say something ... otherwise wait for me to ask for advise or help

Sincereman, you're correct about the ambulance. That is why you try to take the high road. If they attack, defend yourself. You're daughter is doing the right thing by defending herself. Make sure she goes to the administration before she fights, that way you'll have proof that she tried to avoid a fight.

I agree with some of what sincereman and bigmaq have said. Most of the time the things that other people do to you bother you so much because you don't tell them how you feel right when it happens. You wait until they've have done a couple of things to you and then you blow up on them. By that time they don't even remember most of it and they look at you like you're over reacting and they don't care.

Ladynluv,
I used to tell my parents that. LOL

I'm trying to get to the point in my life where nothing anybodys says to me that's negative will affect me. I don't know if that's possible, but that's my goal for myself.

When it comes to name calling and the sort I usually say to them: "You hate most in me what you hate in yourself." Meaning if they call you a jackass or biotch they no that they're a jackass or a biotch and they can't stand it so they take it out on you.

know

Angelsing,
It is possible. You just have to really want it and work towards it. Sometimes it's as easy as reading the books, or coming online for advice and taking the ones you like.

I doubt it is possible to never get upset by what people say atleast sometimes. If you get to that point you are either very cold and heartless or you have become something other than a human being. We all have feelings and with those feelings that we have, they will always have the ability to be hurt.
There is no way that anyone here can say that they are completely immune to those feelings, no matter how much you believe in god or zen or whatever other outlet you use.

To be human means we have feelins and I would rather keep my feelings and be hurt by words sometimes that never feel anything at all.

Well thanks everybody it was nice getting your opinions and advise and it helps to talk things out. That's another thing, talking things out is also a personal goal of mine. I do sometimes let things fester instead of getting them out. It's just that I absolutely hate confrontations.

wow I can't spell tonight...

feelings*

Than*


SHEESH

Oh sincere, that is scarry true.

It's not about not getting your feelings hurt, Sincereman. That will always happen. It's how you respond to the hurt that makes the difference.