Well I had to twist the subject to keep it PG 13 . While talking to this Amish guy(my gardener) we stumbled upon gf and having "fun with partner" topic. He said that sxx is only done if you love someone that too after marriage and I started explaining him how having "fun with your partner" is fun and there are many reasons people have "fun with partner". Be it with gf or wife, it is not always about love. Then I started tell him other reasons for "having fun with partner" like

- Angry fun -> when she/he is very rough on you.

- Makeup fun -> when you and your partner had a argument and then you makeup

- Revenge fun -> you want to take revenge on some guy/gal and you influence their partner.

- Seeing after long time fun -> when you meet your partner after a duration of time.

Any other fun you guys want to add? ofcourse only if you agree that fun doesn't have to be always coz of love

You've mixed up two separate subjects there, sir.

You were talking about having "fun," and the other fellow was talking about having a specific kind of relationship.

For myself, for example, any of the thousands of possible ways to have "fun" are potentially at play from WITHIN the relationship I hope to finally experience, except the long list of "fun" which is based on the other person being a complete and actual stranger.

I am fully aware of the great number of people who think of "fun" as something to do with whoever passes by, and they have a lovely time living that way, may they enjoy their lives. It's just that I wasn't built that way.

Sorry my friend for misleading you , may be I was not able to express the topic properly. Let me try to rephrase it in simpler words. The topic is

"Is love the only reason to have sex everytime with your wife or gf/husband or bf or do you have sometimes other reasons to have sex with your wife or gf/husband or bf?"

Nothing out of relationship

Oh, I see. I'd phrase it a little differently still, since love is always why I have sex with someone, but I think I know what you mean.

There's all kinds of things for sex to be about other than making babies, or even to show gentle affection.

There's an old song about one aspect of it, called "Sexual Healing." That can take even more forms than even that song touched on, depending on the person. Such as, some "angry sex," can be about helping each other get over past negative experiences, and not just because you have after-fight energy to use up.

You'll probably need the distinction between men and women because men can have sex without getting emotionally attached. Most women can't. That's why things often go wrong ... after having had sex the woman thinking they are now in a relationship cos they now made a commitment. And the guy thinking he had great sex with a nice girl.

Anyway, I think that man was right. To me it's related to love. Even if at a particular moment I feel lust, it's still based on love. I want to enjoy my lustful feelings with the man I love.
If it gets a bit rough, it is still based on love, otherwise I wouldn't put up with it.
If it's make-up sex, it's love, otherwise what's there to make up?

I spose there are a few exceptions to the rule, when you meet someone and have this unbelievable chemistry and spark flying everywhere. But I don't think that happens so often ...

REMINDS ME OF ''MEN ARE FROM MARS,WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS'' IT REALLY IS LIKE WE

ARE FROM DIFFERENT PLANETS..... KNOWING AND RESPECTING THE

DIFFERENCES CAN REALLY MAKE THINGS A WHOLE LOT BETTER.....

Bollocks. In my experience at least. It has been the WOMEN who have run around and diddled everything in sight, and then moved on without a thought.

Of course men, being the bravado-driven liars so many are, repeatedly claim that they never cared, and only jumped off the bridge after another breakup, for the fun of the breeze in their hair.

It's all a matter of who you grow up amongst, I suppose.

It is always important to have fun in a relationship x

Sounds like a hurt man ...

Yep ... We are different, thank goodness for that! Makes it all the better and more interesting when we find a good match that complements us.

Oh... you do know you can switch of CAPS? Online Caps = shouting

Again the thread is not about out of relationship sex, cheating or one night stands

When you have sex with your partner (wife/husband/bf/gf), you don't have the same intensity every time even when you love them with all your heart. There are moments when sex is amazing and there are when it is just fine. Hope you guys have hear and tried "Quicky" with your partner or is it always looking in their eyes and saying "I love you" and then having sex.
Let me try to give a life example here
Yesterday I had "thankful sex" with Jenny. I helped with her parent's issues and yesterday she wanted to show me her gratitude. It was that extra effort which she put that made sex amazing. See another reason to have sex - to show how much that help meant to her.

Goes either way you want. My experience was one way, yours another. Was your experience valid, and mine not? If so, why?

Why do you need to have reasons?
Can't you just enjoy each other's company?

It puts a bit of spice in your life
Have fun with the person you are with.
It Keeps it alive and exciting.

It sounds a bit like the "fun" in "Fifty Shades of Gray".

Sometimes sex in a relationship helps one or both parties sleep soundly, if they are feeling restless. It's way more fun than sipping chamomile tea

wow nice one, "not sleepy sex" another one added to list

Well you are right..here fun is symbolic for sex

Well having fun because you want to have fun is also another reason
"just for fun sex" - when you are feeling naughty

"hot crush sex" - when you see someone hot and you imagine a bit and have sex with your partner.

"Nothing on TV sex" - when you are bored and nothing to see on TV

"Lucky sex" - you won a lottery and brought something for you partner.