That's EXACTLY my point lol. If a women raises the issue because she is considerate as some women are, and you refuse her offer, then a definitive discussion will come out of that as I said in my post, which will determine how future financial arrangements go. In your case, you will refuse and after explaining your reasons, it is up to the woman to agree or disagree with your wishes and then you both take it from there . Thats why I used the word negotiation, No one is laying down the law. Both parties are calmly discussing their preferences and coming to a decision together

I used to think I will pay my own way but sometimes that can put him off so if he offers that's ok if not I will always be prepared.

You are right, most guys did pay for everything on dates. I think I would feel very uncomfortable if the lady would not allow me to pay when out on the first few dates.

I'm like you Duttoneer, but I think our ages has a lot to do with it.

I'm old fashioned and find it hard to change. I'd never let a woman pay for any date unless it was my birthday or something like that.

Probably wrong in this day and age

For myself I think a gentleman always pays for the privilege of a woman's company.

Hi! Thanks.

If you asked me out to a dinner, or an event, I would expect you to pay.
If we continued to 'date', then I would certainly offer to share, or chip in some $$ - provide the tip or something..
Most men like to pay and I would not take that away from them.,lol

For first dates, I usually assume we'll each pay our share. Makes sense, since we don't even know how well we'll hit it off yet. It doesn't necessarily work out that way, though.

Yeah. Guys have actually been offended when I offered to pay for myself on the first date. It makes them feel emasculated I guess...Don't think I will be making that mistake again

I do consider myself a gentleman,but times have changed. I will always offer to pay,but i am aware that some men will expect more than a kiss on the cheek if they have paid,so she might be worried about that initially. I am talking about a first date here,so hopefully,after a short time,she would know my intentions are honourable...

if I man asks me out on a date then it is assumed he will pay for dinner and I will probably offer to leave the tip


if we have been dating for awhile then I will offer to contribute to the cost of what we plan to do

I have given up trying to keep up with whatever is the new protocol and just stick with the one that works for me.

If someone asks me out on a date it is their invitation and I let them pretty much run the show. I let them order or I order something as similar or slightly less expensive than what they do and thank them.

I take enough money to cover what it costs me to get there and back and I make sure I have and exit stradegedy (if I need it) but I am not going to go into the whole drama of even discussing who pays and putting a date on the spot to try and figure out who is going to pay what. To me it would be insulting to suggest he wasn't able to handle the situation.

That said when I dates someone it is rare for me not to reciprocate the invitation with something that I can afford and generally is similar in value since I don't date someone for them to subsidize my existence. I don't like the over the top show off dates and if I feel like someone is trying to buy or pull a financial power play I don't like it and usually end the relationship. To me relationships are not suppose to be contests.

I don't think relationships can always be balanced but if you find yourself dating someone and it feels really lopsided as to how much one or the other is putting into it I can not understand why people keep letting things slide when with a little consideration and compromise you can usually work things out.

I went on one date...yes, she was from here....and I was sooo tempted to ask for a refund from her....but good manners and a timely phone call from another friend, held me back...

Yes, we had a lot of free outings/gatherings/ activities etc etc...but we had to go, where we had to pay for things....that was a real date, and as men we always paid up front...no question there.That was impressing the girl of our dreams...and till today we still wana do that....just saying...