I want to know why guys bypass women who are good women but don't have the ideal shape or flaws... for a woman who have nothing going for herself?

Maybe the guys don't really have anything going for them, and spot a kindred soul.

Society has been utterly bombarded by the media to think, see, talk, listen and watch everything that the media wants it to. This means that if the media had forced us all to believe that UGLY was the way to go, we'd all be chasing it, needing it, wanting it, being jealous of it,.... but,. the media HASN'T done that, instead they made eveyone want beauty, looks, superficiality,.... Sadly, brains and a good heart don't matter to the media, so they've not shoved it down our throats as they have with looks, beauty etc.

Sex sells,.. very much so, even to this day. Brains always take second place to beauty,.. and as much as I admit looks matter to me, (not Playboy magazine type looks; think: Country Life, [lol]; natural looking women who don't wear make-up but have natural good looks), I do feel sorry for those women out there who're not so pretty but have immensely good hearts.

How do you know she has nothing going on for herself? How do you know she does have her own insecurities or self esteem issues? Maybe you are judging others just as you feel judge...something to think about

It appears to me that you are over-generalizing.
By the way, you should switch your main profile image to your profile image that shows you smiling.
Your smile should bring you plenty of positive attention from men.

That's something that affects both genders - we (meaning human beings) are apparently hard-wired to prefer attractiveness:



Further proof (as if any were needed) that life simply isn't fair, regardless of how we might prefer it...

No. No it is not.

Obviously physical attraction isnt the only thing that matters....if that were true thwre would be no ugly couples anywhere....

I don't think most men do, I think the whole thing is the mental connection. Having retired from the restaurant biz after 20 years I have seen a lot of mix matched couples but they way they looked at each other told the real truth. I also agree with David that you should use the picture of you smiling ( you have a great smile) as your main image. Best of luck to you.

For the same reason women do it to men, it's called being human.

Speaking from my own perspective here:

I consider all women as persons. I also know from 25 years of marriage that looks change over time. On a dating site like this you should want to put your best foot forward. That will attract the most hits for your profile. Once a connection is made it is your personality that will keep them.

Women do the exact same thing to men. People are attracted to whoever they are attracted to. It's basic biological physical chemistry.

Because, if there's no physical attraction, it just ain't happenin'.

Alot of physical attractiveness, has to do with how a woman carries the appearance she has.

Not carried well, and she can be the most hideous creature.

Carried well, and that same woman, can be among the most beautiful women on the planet.

It is difficult in a profile to make someone realize you are a good person. It has become a me, me, me society where the most important thing is what can you do for me? It comes down to a photo and being able to sell yourself in just a couple of lines. Even when people are together they don't share themselves, how many times do you see people sitting around a table and they are all on their phone, tablets, or laptop instead of talking? I believe those days when "hanging out" and actually interacting with friends have disappeared.





This one was unfair as everyone has something going on! It might be something you have to interact with them to find out, but I still believe that everyone has a good feature or quality.

Kudos!

Creating an online personality is difficult. With online dating it becomes a crucial factor in responses.
Sometimes, less is more and sometime you just gotta put it out there.

your 3rd picture is your best
your profile is horrendous
rewrite it to reflect some of your positive qualities
if you cannot recognize any in yourself then woman
take some time to do so now!

You are not defined by your body type
your height, your weight or how a man perceives you measure up to the idea of " ideal feminine beauty" he carries around with him



work on liking yourself first
you will then project this positive self image into the world around you

TMommy, Thats good advice for everyone, even most men.

You must love yourself in order to love another...

Nothing going for herself ? Wow Nothing like selling yourself down the river without a paddle.

Kind of a lame assumption when you obviously have a lot going on if you read between the sad sack story of your profile.

I know a lot of good guys who are looking for a stable, employed, mature woman who isn't some diva and has a smile that could light up room if you just put it front and center of your life and profile. And if your flat behind is a minus then there are bazillion women who would be glad to trade places with you and plenty of guys who would see it as a positive. And unless you just want a guy who has a foot fetish I doubt to many guys are going to solely ditch you for your tootsies.

I don't know who has been doing such a hatchet job on your self esteem but you need to see the kind of hypercritical view you have of yourself are based in BS and give yourself a pat on the back for a change. Then you won't need to be jealous of who ever it is you think is beating you out of your happiness.

I can promise you there are plenty of pretty women who are just as frustrated about dating as you are and they have their looks held against them for a lot more than dates; least you can have a job and retirement.

And while I am not that big on the whole things could be worse scenario I am sure there are a lot of women who are sick or have much worse injuries than yours that would think your situation was a blessing.

I myself would rather have a hot plain jane then ms america,

So you are like, literally destroying yourself by describing your physique as ... Rubbish.

let me explain the WHY - the reason why men bypass you.
some of these apply to some men. Not all apply to all men.
The things i write might be damn ugly - i believe though they are accurate.

-Some want their woman young and beautiful.
-Some men want to start a Family. Their OWN Family.
-Some men want a Simple one on one Relationship, Not any Kids that live with the father and come to visit every week...
-Some men when they see "kids yes, they live away from home" think like "the state has taken the kids away from her, she can not take care of kids --> responsibility issues.
-Kids but never married... for some men a big Nono.
-Some men look at you doing your Job kneedeep in Shait... That is not the sort of woman a man would want to spend time with.
-So you smell like the sewers and tobacco on top of that. and occasionally, though not daily, you drink.


Full Stop.

and now you are on the internet, a place where LOOKS and APPEARANCES matter most... looking for a man who does not care about these things.
The Internet is the most judgmental place, like, EVER.
Jou do not present yourself like a person a man would want to commit his life to.

Sorry ma´am... you are looking in the wrong place i gather.

Honestly, us Dudes we use our eyes - way too much i might add - and in many cases do not give much of a chance to anything that does not pass the "eyes-test".


Those are reasons why you might get bypassed.
I am sure the list is not complete.

present yourself differently, and man would want a date with you.
no need to tell him straight away- and i resume your own selfdescription- "I am an ugly rat who works in the sewers"


If you have a date, you at least get to present your personality and your smile.
the problems you describe in your profile... he will find them out SOON ENOUGH.