Topic: 6 Signs Youre Happy Being Alone | |
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Edited by
Datwasntme
on
Sat 10/24/15 06:51 PM
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6 Signs Youre Happy Being Alone
http://higherperspectives.com/happy-being-alone-2/ In our culture, we make finding a partner and settling down a marker for success. Its as if its unacceptable that we find happiness by ourselves rather than with someone else. You may not realize it, but it could be that youre already a happy person by yourself. How can you tell? 1. You enjoy dining alone. Im happy to say Im no longer single, but I enjoyed my life just as much when I was. Dining alone was this enjoyable, almost meditative experience for me. It was a great way to sort out my thoughts. 2. Watching a movie is fun alone. And on top of that, can we talk about the fact that going to the movies is a seriously awful first date? Ive never understood the phenomenon. Sitting in silence for almost 2 hours isnt exactly a great way to get to know someone. 3. You enjoy doing what you want. No one to run your plans by before you execute them. Isnt that something? If you find it enjoyable to just sort of do whatever you want, you probably enjoy being alone. 4. You enjoy solitary traveling. Im the kinda guy where I can just book a flight and go halfway around the world to spend time somewhere new. Sometimes to visit a friend, but I dont care if Im experiencing a new place by myself or with someone. 5. You think clingy people are a bummer. I bet weve all gone on a date or two with someone and they just text and message you all the time. Sound familiar? This kind of clingy behavior always annoyed the hell out of me. Even in a relationship, I still enjoy my solitary time. 6. You sleep better alone. Those times that you share a bed with someone are the worst sleep, right? It may be that you enjoy sleeping |
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I actually pass this test... I do enjoy my alone time.
I am so thankful Pancho feels the same way. Couples that have to breathe for each other is a bit much. Each person has to have alone time to grow...IMO |
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The toilet seat is up
The half a bag of cookies is still in the cupboard.. I can sleep in the middle of the bed I do not need to ask what would you like to eat.. . There is lots of hot water.. Well..ok.... maybe not lots. .. .. set remote control for the TV is right where I left it.. .. .... |
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Good luck to everyone who passed the test. So why are you on a dating site?
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Good luck to everyone who passed the test. So why are you on a dating site? |
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I am at about 50/50
No clingy people is good. Nobody questioning how long I was gone or where I have been is good Nobody snoring louder then a freight train is heavenly The rest I would prefer a companion |
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Good luck to everyone who passed the test. So why are you on a dating site? True one that is not happy being alone and thinks another will make them happy is only fooling themselves. |
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I like being alone.
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I would rather have the right man in my life, where we can respect each others alone time.
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Kinda like: just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. It applies to me here in the bunk, yet it would be nice to cuddle with a live woman rather than this, where is it?..oh by my feet, pillow.
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Sat 10/24/15 08:04 PM
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I don't care if ya message me to say something like hello beautiful..
what do you mean I have to message back? sheesh needy I am my own person, an individual, I do not need a man to tell me I look good..hey where you going? did you say I was pretty today? yes alright you can sleep on that side but ya see this invisible line..do not cross it I need my space hey my feet are cold warm them up I am a rock, an ice queen, I am strong enougn to withstand whatever you got baby...oh for god's sake man button that shirt back up ..did it just get hot in here |
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6 Signs Youre Happy Being Alone
Why do you need 6 signs? Here's 1. Are you happy being alone? Yes. Then, you're happy being alone. In our culture, we make finding a partner and settling down a marker for success.
In our culture we also buy things we can't afford to impress people we don't like in order to get them to like us and judge us successful. Its as if its unacceptable that we find happiness by ourselves rather than with someone else.
Civilization kinda demands that we prefer being in groups rather than solitary, isolated, individuals. Dining alone was this enjoyable, almost meditative experience for me. It was a great way to sort out my thoughts.
You know what else works for that? Meditating and taking long dumps. can we talk about the fact that going to the movies is a seriously awful first date? Ive never understood the phenomenon. Sitting in silence for almost 2 hours isnt exactly a great way to get to know someone.
So it's a good thing to sit alone in a restaurant so you can meditate and sort your thoughts. But going on a date together, having a shared experience, getting used to being in each others presence, being prevented from ejaculating verbal diarrhea due to nervous energy, avoiding having to immediately and constantly talk about yourself, given the opportunity to sort your thoughts and have time to think before you say something, and have that experience you can talk about after it's over...that's a bad thing? A movie offers multiple viewpoints, multiple stories, multiple subtexts, multiple interpretations. Two people can see the same movie and come away with completely different experiences. They can then talk about those experiences, share their "journey," and that's going to be less informative and worthwhile than sitting in a restaurant, or playing mini golf, or whatever talking about the first random thought that comes to mind, that's generally influenced by nervous fear or lust? Im the kinda guy where I can just book a flight and go halfway around the world to spend time somewhere new. Sometimes to visit a friend, but I dont care if Im experiencing a new place by myself or with someone.
That's how a lot of women get sold into slavery. This kind of clingy behavior always annoyed the hell out of me. Even in a relationship, I still enjoy my solitary time.
The more you get used to being alone, the more any behavior is (or can be) seen as clingy behavior. Your tolerance for anything that causes you an ounce of discomfort is run away from where people used to relationships just shrugs off because it doesn't matter, or it can be handled. Those times that you share a bed with someone are the worst sleep, right?
This is trained behavior. Kids climb into their parents bed. Parents have to teach kids to sleep alone. People sleep better in company when they are used to sleeping with another person. People sleep better alone after they've gone through the trauma of having their parents force them to sleep alone and start building on the nugget that they aren't a good person, or they'll be punished if they don't sleep alone and try to climb into another's bed. It's no different than potty training and how horrible and scared people feel having an accident in their pants. You sleep better alone because you come to expect to sleep alone because you're parents trained you that you were doing something wrong and bad if you didn't. Then, as a couple, you have to exhaust yourselves with sex before you get used to it. |
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I don't care if ya message me to say something like hello beautiful.. what do you mean I have to message back? sheesh needy I am my own person, an individual, I do not need a man to tell me I look good..hey where you going? did you say I was pretty today? yes alright you can sleep on that side but ya see this invisible line..do not cross it I need my space hey my feet are cold warm them up I am a rock, an ice queen, I am strong enougn to withstand whatever you got baby...oh for god's sake man button that shirt back up ..did it just get hot in here <<<<<sobs into his pillow. |
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In our culture, we make finding a partner and settling down a marker for success. I do not know with others, I can only speak for myself, Finding a partner for me means: -I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life, -if there is a probability that I can be with a man, who can accept me as I am, lead me and keep me safe, then I am very willing to give up my independence. -never because, I find it that settling down is a marker for success. The older I am, the fewer I see people actually successful in both career and marriage. That should say something about making sacrifices for what really makes us happy & what we really value most in life. I failed this test anyway. 1. You enjoy dining alone. - Yes. But I caught myself enjoying & appreciating the food better if I am partaking it with other people. My experience with hearty meals are always with someone. 2.Watching a movie is fun alone. - Yes. Because I get distracted if there are people not focus on watching the movie I am watching at that time. Id rather watch it alone. What I actually long for, is exchanging perspectives after the movie. Discussing the cinematography, the actors & actresses, the plot, the characters of the movie, how realistic it is, how enjoyable & if one can actually learn from it. 3. You enjoy doing what you want. - Yes very much for this. ^^^ this is what sometimes discourage me to look for my Mr. Neverbealone. That is why it is very important for me that my man will accept me as I am the way I will accept him as who he is. compatibility is really necessary. I like beer & heavy metal music instead of soda & prayers. Will my man asks me to stop drinking beer & listen to heavy metal music because it is very unfeminine? I could never be fashionable, even if I live a 100 & 20, I only use high heels & boots inside the company I am working with because it is necessary. But, I am more comfortable with jeans,shorts and T-shirts. Will my man coerce me to wear a dress when I am with him because he will find me less attractive in less feminine outfit? I like river trekking & less crowded places. Will my man be overprotective? Will he always insists that we will entertain and be with other people always? I am childish on many things. Will my man insists that I always act mature in every situation. I am tactless. I am disagreeable. I do not see always the need to agree with everyone. Will my man stop me from saying what I want to say, because he will be embarrass, sometimes, of how candid I am talking about sex and other things that I like to give my own perspective? I like reading newspaper & sports magazine instead of beauty magazines & watching TV? Will my man think less of me as a woman, than the other ultra-feminine girls who knew everything about fashion, latest raves, and how to be a proper-classy 21st woman? I am not slim. I am stocky and has cellulites. Will my man expects me to go on a diet, so I can have toned and very fit body to please him? 4. You enjoy solitary traveling. I do not have the luxury to travel. I went to other places only because of: -river trekking with buddies mostly more men & few women -work related -company outings 5.You think clingy people are a bummer. Subjective. what is clingy to others might just be "business as usual' for others. I used the word clingy to people who expects others to find time for them, to support them emotionally & verbally when I do not see the need to do so. Sometimes though, it is my fear of encroaching boundaries, that stops me from expressing my support. Sometimes, it is my inability of how to say it, or present it without being misunderstood that stops me. I actually envy people who are clingy. It means they have a lot of time in their hands to interact & update. It means they are not afraid to get rejected or feel being used. It means they are confident that they can hold their own emotions when things do not work out as it should. I still have so many things to learn. I can barely keep up. Let alone be confident that I can hold my own emotions. Id rather hold back and get to know the person through his posts and how he treated other people. Its as if its unacceptable that we find happiness by ourselves rather than with someone else. You may not realize it, but it could be that youre already a happy person by yourself. I have read a lot about people truly happy being single, majority of them have other chosen advocacies in different fields, mostly spirtiual people. But I have never met one yet in person. |
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I don't care if ya message me to say something like hello beautiful.. what do you mean I have to message back? sheesh needy I am my own person, an individual, I do not need a man to tell me I look good..hey where you going? did you say I was pretty today? yes alright you can sleep on that side but ya see this invisible line..do not cross it I need my space hey my feet are cold warm them up I am a rock, an ice queen, I am strong enougn to withstand whatever you got baby...oh for god's sake man button that shirt back up ..did it just get hot in here <<<<<sobs into his pillow. |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Sun 10/25/15 05:51 AM
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So why are you on a dating site? Some of us think of this as a social site... It never was much of a dating site for me. Fact is, the only genuine date I ever went on via this site wound up with me attempting to help her get her daughter out of a holding cell in the 5th precinct. Good times! |
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Please pardon my prejudices in this sort of thread. Whenever in the past, someone has made a set of statements like this, they have been trying to imply a universal decision or judgement of some sort to others, usually with the real goal of making themselves feel better about their own situation in one way or another.
So I have come to be wary, even suspicious of the motivations behind such lists. In the case of lists to decide if you are "happy being alone," the potential implications include both positive and negative judgments on the part of the person who makes the list. We can see it in the variety of answers people have given. Several people have (I think wisely) pointed out that being "happy" with alone times, is a good thing for close relationships, because it allows a person to be more genuinely giving of themselves, when they don't suffer from active needs. But I have also seen people make lists like this, in order to rather angrily demand that anyone who "passes" the "test," should not be trying to involve others in a mating process. This is usually because the person writing up the list is convinced that it is mutual NEED which makes a mate relationship last, rather than mutual desire. I have also seen such lists used as a form of personal self reassurance, for someone who is struggling with resentments about being rejected as a mate by others, and who want to combat the sense of this meaning that they are not valuable people, by declaring that being alone can be a very positive thing, and not just an isolated cabinet of despair and want. I have been such a person myself, so I have sympathy for them, but I also eventually saw that such is a false reassurance. Okay as a sort of "band-aid" for ones emotions while recovering from a lost love, but not a long-term solution for anyone who really does want a life mate. |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Sun 10/25/15 06:49 AM
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Please pardon my prejudices in this sort of thread. Whenever in the past, someone has made a set of statements like this, they have been trying to imply a universal decision or judgement of some sort to others, usually with the real goal of making themselves feel better about their own situation in one way or another. So I have come to be wary, even suspicious of the motivations behind such lists. In the case of lists to decide if you are "happy being alone," the potential implications include both positive and negative judgments on the part of the person who makes the list. We can see it in the variety of answers people have given. Several people have (I think wisely) pointed out that being "happy" with alone times, is a good thing for close relationships, because it allows a person to be more genuinely giving of themselves, when they don't suffer from active needs. But I have also seen people make lists like this, in order to rather angrily demand that anyone who "passes" the "test," should not be trying to involve others in a mating process. This is usually because the person writing up the list is convinced that it is mutual NEED which makes a mate relationship last, rather than mutual desire. I have also seen such lists used as a form of personal self reassurance, for someone who is struggling with resentments about being rejected as a mate by others, and who want to combat the sense of this meaning that they are not valuable people, by declaring that being alone can be a very positive thing, and not just an isolated cabinet of despair and want. I have been such a person myself, so I have sympathy for them, but I also eventually saw that such is a false reassurance. Okay as a sort of "band-aid" for ones emotions while recovering from a lost love, but not a long-term solution for anyone who really does want a life mate. Perfect response. Thread over./ |
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pssst...if ya put your comment at the end instead of hiding it in there somewhere then we can find it
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Sometimes I wish this was not a PG site...
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