i am more open

If you are dating someone, I would prefer to start off as friends so you will be able to assess each other's suitability or compatibility as partners in an intimate relationship. A little self reservation until the right time comes when you are ready and have gained trust, confidence and established feelings towards each other will do no harm rather than jumping right away into a relationship where you dont have an idea what kind of a person and situation you are getting into and might lead to regrets or sometimes it will have psychological effect in losing your self respect or dignity which truly happens after a failure in relationship the other suffers from self pity. Though friendship is not an assurance that it will lead to something more serious. Dating may lead to just friendship, more intimate relationship, marriage or no relation at all. Take it one step at a time, slowly but surely.

yes

well said

Interesting read :)

I suppose that I am someone that gets emotionally involved easily and I've not had a lot of luck with relationships. I think that I spent about two weeks getting to know the woman that I had my longest relationship with and she just changed as soon as we became lovers. It's not that we stopped being friends but that was when all the drama started.

I've had dates with women that say that they're looking for friendship "and maybe more" but when I didn't have sex with them they weren't interested in more dates or staying in touch as friends, even when we got on alright and most women tell me that I'm good company and easy to talk to.

I suppose it's fair to say that I'm fast with women because I would rather not live with regrets of wasted opportunities. Relationships haven't really worked out for me but the ones that I've had have been significant to me and it's true that I do tend to feel quite strongly about the physical act of love and become atatched quite easily. Most guys will tell you when you're broken hearted over a woman to just get another one though and the problem is that when you're still in love with someone else you're not ready and people probably won't see you as being "available" and all you'll get is more people that won't want to get involved and maybe more sex.

I don't think that you can know how a relationship with someone will work out by just getting to know them as friends and at best you can make an educated guess. You may see red flags but ignore them anywayand sleep with that person because at least you're getting that out of it and if it's not going to work out it's not like there aren't other women.

I agree with that ..^

My take:

Outside Mingle:

Since I enjoy outdoors on weekends most of the time,
Rivertrekking in particular,I hang out with buddies.
There are times when you reached out for their hands to reach a
cluster of rock, or touch their hips for balance.
I am very strict on friendship.
If you like me as a woman, Dont be my friend.Dont be my buddy.
You dont need sexual tension on dangerous treks.
It will kill you or your friend.

If you like me. court me. But never be my friend.

It is insulting when males, flirt insincerely or just
for "airs".
-chances are, the one recipient of those flirting tactics gets
dislike by females who are interested on the flirt guy.
- most of the time, the one recipient of those flirting tactics gets
the brunt of the kick.

What is really more unfair is when the guy is not even flirting, but just being
a gentleman.. and not even remotely interested on the person, but other
females would conclude that he is "hitting on her" and YES ,it is the girl's fault.
Go figure.

Friendship with a guy is dangerous.
So it is best from the start, if you will set the proper expectations.
I say, jump straight into it-and let the guy take it from there.

In mingle:

My strict rule: No matter what! never be a friend to a guy.
Remember every guy has woman admirers.
And it is never the fault of their admired men that he flirted
insincerely or say nice things insensitively.
It is always the fault of the girl receiving the "flirting".

What is more unfair is when the man is not even flirting with you.
He was just really being a gentleman, and the ladies would think that
"he is hitting on her" and yes of course the fault is with the girl.

Friendship. No. If I am interested base on the guy's post,
I will chase him in the forum. But until then, stay away from me,
because I dont like being recipient of nasty stuff just because you
like flirting.

It is tiresome.Petty and very immature.
And for someone checking seriously on the God they claimed they represented, it is very discouraging.

I refuse to be jaded, no matter what.

so choose the guy.. and choose well. Hold back.
And no friendship..jump into it.
He will take it from there.

That is just me though.. maybe it will be different with you.

i all can depend on the person as some people start off better as friends while others start better if it's just for dating

Jump straight into what? A relationship? Bed?

I second this comment. It can vary actually (if you are talking friend or dating). In some cases getting to know someone as a friend will help build a stronger relationship if you both decide to pursue that, BUT, if one person has romantic feelings for the other that are not reciprocated, that can sometimes destroy a good friendship.

If you both have some interest in one another from the start, then it might be better going straight to dating. It is really one of those things where there is no RIGHT answer as it varies from person to person and even from situation to situation with the same person (In one situation it might be best to go straight to dating, but, with the same individual, in a different situation, it might be better to become friends first.).