when you read people's profiles and they say things like

"just out of a long term relationship/marriage" etc

then they say
"looking for that someone special"

would that ring alarm bells? i mean surely you had someone special if you were in a LTR with them right? or does it mean they want to meet the next special person,
presumably if you get with them and enjoy a relationship with them, then you're no longer "special"

i know it probably doesn't make sense but it just doesn't seem right.

thoughts please folk?

The very first thing I think of is how long ago? I have been there and tried that and it seems that "just out" usually means the sheets aren't dry yet and they are still dealing with the pain of it. I am a bit gunshy of this honestly I will be friendly but serious relationship that would depend on them and how they have processed the break up.




When I see this I kind of chuckle, in my mind would I want someone that wasn't special to me.lol



I agree totally with your thought process

depends if they learned anything from last relationship. if not doomed to fail again

my first question would be what did you learn ??

my concern would be if they are jumping right from last one into next one without a pause

Op that thought hasn't crossed my mind get coz i don't believe in online relationships

that's kinda my point, how can they want to find their "special someone" when they've just seemingly broken up with their "special someone"

i'm thinking that either, they just want a rebound/replacement and won't be particularly bothered who with, or they haven't just come out of LTR and are hoping that someone will fall for it and give them some "pity love" for want of a better word haha

Not really.
"Alarm bells" implies some kind of strong emotional reaction.

IME 90% of the time those two things on a profile (on a website that isn't 90% scam profiles) means either:
1. They're extremely new to online dating and don't know how to fill out a profile so just put what's predominantly on their mind.
2. They're extremely seasoned to online dating, no one wants them long term, and they just never changed their profile and forgot what it said.

It doesn't set off "alarm bells" but it does tell me to just click to the next profile.


Not necessarily. It takes time to determine whether or not someone is "that someone special." That time = LTR.


Lots.

But in regards to

That doesn't follow.
Only if you get dumped/or dump her, are you no longer "special" to her (or him, I am assuming you're looking at women's profiles).

You think that sets off alarm bells???


Try telling someone you haven't been in a relationship in over a decade!!! That sets off alarm bells!

Well ... typically when you've divorced/split up, the ex wasn't your 'special someone' anymore, otherwise you wouldn't have split up now would you?

I do agree that if they just came out of a relationship, it's a bit premature to be ready for the next special someone in your life. But if they're looking for a new relationship in spite of that, kinda logical they'd want someone special. No one is looking for a dork, right! Not even someone who's not over their ex yet.

Wait a minute!!! Us men are supposed to read chicks profiles???

Only if your communicative skills sux, lol.
If you can come up with a good, nice messages, no need. You get away with murder. As long as you show an interest of course

Oh, and that would be an interest other than wanting to get in our panties

Ahhhhhh.....good then. Cause I can turn a woman on with words. "Oooooo baby......backspace.....caps lock....control alt delete........take yo panties off".

I think when they say someone special..
what they're really saying is.. not looking for one night stands or hookups.. but hey what do I know