Did she settle down with you....or did she settle for you?

George and Janice met in their university days. They were both law students in the same level and they had a connection the first day
they met.They did a lot of things together like studying for exams all night, writing assignments and covering for each other when one couldn't make it to class..... as I always say "the more
time spent together, the more emotions grow". George caught that sickness called
"feelings" and decided to open up to Janice about it.

Unfortunately for him, her reply wasn't what he had hoped it would be. Maybe she liked him too but felt he wasn't old enough because
they were in the same
level...its common to hear girls say "I can never date my classmate". Maybe she
didn't find him attractive enough....there are
countless "maybe's"but her reply was negative...It however didn't affect their
friendship. They went
through 5years of college together...Janice dated a few guys in that period and will
always come to George for relationship advice..

After convocation, they proceeded to law school still as friends....infact at this point,Janice was in a serious relationship that seemed like it was heading to marriage but sadly it didn't and she
became very brokenhearted.... In the
process of consolation,
Janice began to show
interest in George....
according to the event, the guy was still crazy about her and they dated and later got married.

But my question is -

Did she settle down with him....or did she settle for him ?.... there's no way in hell the story will end like that if i were George...in 6years of school, he wasn't old enough and he wasnt good looking enough ..... but he is still her age mate now....and he hasn't had any plastic surgery so he
looks the same way he did when he wasn't attractive enough....so why the change of heart after distributing all the cookies in the jar right under his nose?

So did she settle down with you or did she settle for you?

Many explanations.

She became wiser and more mature.

She settled when she realized there was nothing but heartbreak with the men she actually loved.

She resigned herself to a life with someone who loved her, although she didn't love him. Better paired up with someone who loves her than someone who didn't return her feelings of love.

Doubtful but she grew to love him as he became older, wiser, more mature and gained character as a man.

Forrest Gump was a better story for your question...

Maybe she wasn't ready to settle down at that time and wanted to leave her options open to be sure he was the one.
She might nnot want to complicate their friendship by crossing over.

Neither. He settled for her.
The 'biological clock' is set as an indication to ensure the survival and continuance of the bloodline.
Genetically altered food has had an undeniable effect on young women in the U.S. Chickens are bigger but the eggs are smaller at any rate even converting to vegetarian or vegan doesn't work.
Social networking and online and mobile dating sets the clocks ahead of the development and once the early pregnancies and births occur the clock stops or goes backwards. The timing of the biological clock had a purpose and that purpose is being whittled down to a sliver.
Anyway anyone that waits 5-6 years or longer especially when she's local is settling for her not vice versa. I don't know how this trend is going to break as long as the conditions that make
it flourish get easier more available and easier to hide.

WOW that was ^^^^^^^^^ freaken deep dude puff puff pass typ deep,,JMHO..carry on.

she became doubtful/fearful and disillusioned when her life got harder than she thought it was and lost some of it's shine...


her self esteem and confidence began to wobble
she looked around and latched on to the man who has stood by her
as her friend for so long

Does it matter?

Based on the story there seems to be no problems with the relationship.
He's "happy," she's "happy," the relationship works for them.

It doesn't seem like either one of them is coming to the forum to tell their story and ask "what's wrooooong?!" with the other person or "did they settle for me? do they love me? what's going on? what are they thinking? they're a jerk, i'm awesome!"


But you aren't George.
So no kidding you won't have George's relationship.

Might as well tell the story of Ted Bundy and then say "if I was Ted Bundy there's no way in hell would I kill a bunch of people and dress up like a clown!"



Who says there was a change of heart?
Maybe there was just a clarity of heart?
Some people run away from their feelings and adopt behavior as a means to try and prove it doesn't exist.
e.g. pulling the pigtails of little girls in grade school to show you really like them.

People don't change as they "mature" they just learn more socially acceptable ways to do the same things they've always done.



Settling is only a "bad" thing when someone does it consciously, makes the conscious decision to settle, and actively and knowingly hides that decision from the other person.

Otherwise, it doesn't really matter.

I don't deny that she might have become lost amidst her own disease(feelings) at some point, but our hypothetical guy gets the Oscar for the role of the 'passed over'. It takes two to tango but hypothetical girl was doing the electric slide with whoever for a few years while the guy was waltzing aloone.
Yes her self esteem probably took a hit. Hypo-guy's self esteem is missing in action. The confidence wobble is due to hypo-girl's choice(s) vs the consequence.

she had him friend zoned right from the get go..

probably carried her purse at the mall

almost got married but guy got cold feet
sooooo she looks around and says I need a shoulder to cry on

What I consider rebound is more like when a person is devastated over a breakup and the first person that comes along 'replaces' the other.
HE settled for the 'fun hypo-guys' leftovers. There's a reason and Tmommy hit the nail right on the head with him being hopelessly locked in the friend zone. Once you're in the friend zone the only way to get out (for guys) is to cut all ties with her. This doesn't apply to strict platonic friends. It sounds bad to a woman I know I've heard it a million times but I have yet to see it turn out different. The friend zone is much like the sun earth in the middle (hypo-guy) and Jupiter. The gravity of the two more significant masses keep hypo-guy locked in orbit between them. Every time he thinks he's getting closer to her warmth Jupiter pulls him right back out into the cold. If hypo-guy goes for Jupiter channeling his inner alpha male (that the cold has all but extinguished) the system becomes unstable and the smaller (expendable) hypo-guy gets flung out of orbit into deep space. I've seen this play out too many times to count with myself and other guys and the reason (sorry ladies) is simply because she can. Guys for the most part can't pull this off, unless of course sending large sums of money to Lagos Nigeria gets their jollies.

Thanks. I kinda wish I was but that's just experience and observations.
Continued above.