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| Topic: is this weird | |
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is it weird? not really kids are commitment,
Would it give me pause in dating a woman that made this stipulation? absolutely. I'd understand for the first initial meeting, perhaps MAYBE a second date. But ongoing probably not. Here why: 1. I would read into it, that your kids control your life, and that you either don't have the means/or are not responsible enough to get a sitter 2. I may also just read into it, that if you can't make the time then the relationship isn't thag important, and if you don't care, then why should I? 3. it is imposing challenges from the get go, and I'd be wondering if you are worth thise hurdles, and if I was reading into it reason 2, I may answer no and move on. |
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is it weird? not really kids are commitment, Would it give me pause in dating a woman that made this stipulation? absolutely. I'd understand for the first initial meeting, perhaps MAYBE a second date. But ongoing probably not. Here why: 1. I would read into it, that your kids control your life, and that you either don't have the means/or are not responsible enough to get a sitter 2. I may also just read into it, that if you can't make the time then the relationship isn't thag important, and if you don't care, then why should I? 3. it is imposing challenges from the get go, and I'd be wondering if you are worth thise hurdles, and if I was reading into it reason 2, I may answer no and move on. |
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Are you able to get together with other parents and swap babysitting hours?
Don't mean to be nosey. What about the father? Do they stay with him? W When my daughter went to her dad's every second weekend. That was my time. I also had family to help. |
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Are you able to get together with other parents and swap babysitting hours? Don't mean to be nosey. What about the father? Do they stay with him? W When my daughter went to her dad's every second weekend. That was my time. I also had family to help. |
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Edited by
isaac_dede
on
Mon 07/27/15 03:14 PM
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my kids are the centre of my life yes, but that is a choice I made. (not responsible enough to get a sitter) I would never have a stranger look after my kids so I would have to depend on friends who are busy with there own kids and me asking is like an imposition sometimes. the relationship if it developed would be important to me but the safety of my kids is paramount so if the dates were few and far between so be it. the person I get with would have to understand that he or she is not the centre of my universe but I will try my best to make time and when I do make the time, its completely his or hers time.
you asked for opinions, I wasn't rying to be insulting but I will say you are asking a lot of someone before you even get a date. You are essentially saying "You can date me, but only on my schedule, you're not a priority so I'm unwilling to put any effort in to make time for you, but if your lucky enough maybe I'll make minimal effort and we can go out occasionally" personally i don't see many men signing up for that unless that woman has a LOT going for her, but that's just my opinion |
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my kids are the centre of my life yes, but that is a choice I made. (not responsible enough to get a sitter) I would never have a stranger look after my kids so I would have to depend on friends who are busy with there own kids and me asking is like an imposition sometimes. the relationship if it developed would be important to me but the safety of my kids is paramount so if the dates were few and far between so be it. the person I get with would have to understand that he or she is not the centre of my universe but I will try my best to make time and when I do make the time, its completely his or hers time.
you asked for opinions, I wasn't rying to be insulting but I will say you are asking a lot of someone before you even get a date. You are essentially saying "You can date me, but only on my schedule, you're not a priority so I'm unwilling to put any effort in to make time for you, but if your lucky enough maybe I'll make minimal effort and we can go out occasionally" personally i don't see many men signing up for that unless that woman has a LOT going for her, but that's just my opinion |
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when I start actively going on dates in September (kids are all in school yay lol) I will only be able to date in the day, I wont be able to go out at night at all...is that weird and does anyone else have to do this? Well if they are working 2nd or 3rd shift maybe not.But to say never in the evening yeah that sounds kind of weird to me. Can you not get a sitter sometimes... I have to ask and I don't mean to be mean or anything but what are you going to do if you find the right one tell them they can only be with you during the weekdays during school hours..What happens to weekends, holidays, or that nighttime activities like star gazing with the one you love? Just asking.. 
I just would hate for you to miss out on someone special because of your children don't get me wrong when kids are young we owe them but not forever.. I have to also say that if some man gave these conditions to me I would first think he is married... I would pass... Also no one wants to think that they are second fiddle to anything. Even children, I believe if you want it bad enough you will find a way... Also ask yourself if you were the one wanting to date you would you do this schedule. You are so worth getting to know and to have a life a bit separate from your children. I don't mean leave them in the dust just some down adult time. Best wishes... |
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when I start actively going on dates in September (kids are all in school yay lol) I will only be able to date in the day, I wont be able to go out at night at all...is that weird and does anyone else have to do this? Well if they are working 2nd or 3rd shift maybe not.But to say never in the evening yeah that sounds kind of weird to me. Can you not get a sitter sometimes... I have to ask and I don't mean to be mean or anything but what are you going to do if you find the right one tell them they can only be with you during the weekdays during school hours..What happens to weekends, holidays, or that nighttime activities like star gazing with the one you love? Just asking..
I just would hate for you to miss out on someone special because of your children don't get me wrong when kids are young we owe them but not forever.. I have to also say that if some man gave these conditions to me I would first think he is married... I would pass... Also no one wants to think that they are second fiddle to anything. Even children, I believe if you want it bad enough you will find a way... Also ask yourself if you were the one wanting to date you would you do this schedule. You are so worth getting to know and to have a life a bit separate from your children. I don't mean leave them in the dust just some down adult time. Best wishes... |
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I think the growing together and learning to depend on one another is something that takes a lot of time. Doesn't happen over night. I know that for me it takes time for me to feel comfortable enough to depend on someone.
I am so sorry I made you cry that was never my intentions...
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I think the growing together and learning to depend on one another is something that takes a lot of time. Doesn't happen over night. I know that for me it takes time for me to feel comfortable enough to depend on someone. I am so sorry I made you cry that was never my intentions...
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Mom may I ask how old are your kids?
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4 coming g up 5 8 and 13 Coming up 14
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My daughter was watching out for her younger brother TJ and she was 13 and riding the bus on her own because my dad worked and my mom had a mental illness and I had to work as well. Top it off I lived next to the ghetto. You see my family pic. They're all just fine, notwithstanding all the trouble we went through.
It makes it easier for you to let them go when they get older if you start to slowly let them go now. Your 13 year old should be able to watch the younger ones now. Train them as latchkey kids now. So they know what dangers to watch out for and how to be independent. |
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That brought up a sore point with me. I met a guy online who had a kid. he had to drive his kid to school and then pick him up in the afternoon, so he had about a 6 hour time to meet me. We lived about 3 1/2 hours apart. I decided to drive to him since I have no kids, I live in the country, he lives in a bigger town, and I thought I could do some shopping while in town (stay overnight, not with him, alone overnight) but it turns out, he was only looking for a sexual relationship. he only wanted to see me if I drove 160 miles one way to have sex and then leave. The only thing I got from him was a cup of coffee. No, I did not have sex or spend the night and have not spoken to him since.
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