I just hear so many people trying to excuse themselves for bad behavior by saying, "Yo, I just tell it like it is. I say what everyone else WANTS to. You're thinkin it, I'm sayin it!"

NO! You are being a Jerk!

Your butt doesn't look big in those jeans. Your butt is just big.

I've had bigger and better which lasted a lot longer.

How much value does "Absolute Truth" have to you????......Either dispensed OR received?

Bunch of balless pansies!!!.....and I will get to you Dudes later.

if they perceive me as a jerk for telling them the truth that is their problem not mine.

I'm not just going to spout mean things out of the blue without someone asking...that's being an ahole.

but if they ask, they should expect to get an honest answer

I don't try to come out and be a total dickhead about the truth, but I prefer it over white lies of supposed etiquette.

I would rather have someone to tell me the truth and be honest
These are the two things i want a friendship to be based on with love.
I believe it's not what you say its how you say it.

truth is absolute, but with many faces and sides
silver tongues with humor and mindfulness can achieve more than brutal and careless words
silence is golden when used properly

but you are right...i am a "balless pansy"...

Someone asking "does my bum look big in this" is actually asking if she looks okay or not. She feels a bit insecure and wants to know if she's attractive.
If her man answers, "yes, your butt does look big, no wait, you but IS big", he is an @$$ in my book for deliberately hurting the one he's supposed to love.
At times we all get a little insecure about our looks, depending on the context. Logical you turn to your partner for some support. If they'd use that opportunity to belittle and knock us, what kind of partner are they?

Maybe instead of thinking it's oh-so chivalrous to tell the absolute truth, convincing yourself it's the right thing to do, bear in mind that it's a true gift that your woman turns to you when she feels vulnerable. Because she trusts you and loves you. Trampling that trust isn't exactly chivalrous.

The "does my bum look big" question has been going around for years hasn't it,so i would think of it as a playful question. My answer ? That would be playful too,maybe just a knowing smile. After all,it's usually asked in an existing relationship,so i'm going to take it for granted that i like her bum anyway,and i'm going to enjoy saying something or giving a look to make her feel good.
There are 'truths'.and there are 'truths'. We hope we are wise enough to distinguish between the two,and not have the need to use sledgehammer honesty when it's not really necessary...

The correct thing to say is this:

Your clothes don't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat.

The Fast Show made good use of it, although it was my least favourite.
I preferred Jazz Club

The Fast Show made good use of it, although it was my least favourite.
I preferred Jazz Club

Some do use 'the truth' as an excuse to be rude.
That is true.
But it is ok if you lie to me.
Tell me, the part in my hair is NOT too wide.
Tell me, I don't look a day over 51.
Tell me, I'm the perfect size.
It's ok.

I agree that the truth does sometimes hurt, however like others have said, it CAN be said with tact so it doesn't come across as being a jerk.
I always want the truth....except similar to what Pancho said.

And fyi...I AM female and have never EVER asked if my butt looked too big in ANYTHING!! (not even my female friends)

People that speak the truth don't need to make excuses.

If someone feels they need to defend or make excuses for what they said (in social situations, as opposed to professional settings, or court settings, like "here's the information that supports my quarterlies, here's the tape that shows my alibi for that night") then they aren't really speaking the truth, they have ulterior motives.

Driving people away, eliciting an emotional reaction, manipulating image, emotional protection, to gauge the relationship, to assuage emotional pressure, whatever.


How is that any different than what they are doing?
You want to tell them the "truth" of what they're being and how they're behaving.

Do you tell them "NO! Your are being a Jerk?"
If not, is there something to that?
Is there that big of difference between someone that speaks their "absolute truth" and then tries to excuse/defend it vs. someone who doesn't speak theirs but thinks it...or doesn't do so then, but instead later seeks out internet forums, strangers, a perceived safe support group to let it out and get their truth validated?


A lot if it ever actually existed. Human beings are too finite and fallible to give birth to such a creature using words.

Otherwise as much as I value the person telling me their absolute truth.

If it's a stranger, what they say doesn't reflect my identity or reality, it doesn't really affect me. It's opinion. Everyone's got one. Just because they may believe their opinion is right, or call it absolute truth, it doesn't make it so.
That's why it's pointless to argue about it.
Like on internet forums. They're all opinion.

Opinions don't matter except to the mentally feeble who have to overly rely on their emotions to tell them what to do...in my opinion. There should be a header at the beginning of every single forum response of "in my opinion:"

I believe in "honesty" I don't believe in cruelty of so called honesty to insult someone.

There are ways to be honest and still be kind. I figure if you are going to ask a dumb question and won't let it go when I answer for example.


Nope those jeans don't make your butt look big..
I personally think this is one of the most stupidest questions a woman can ask a man.

And you won't let it go.. In the end I am going to tell you the jeans have nothing to do with whether your but looks big or not.


There are some things just left better unsaid...Doesn't mean I am being dishonest I am choosing not to answer period.