I was talking with Pops about "guilt".

How DARE I feel sorry for myself as a (check the fortunate list) white, american, male, cusp of 20th/21st century, relatively healthy, relatively good education........have had hard times, have even been in some dire situations

......but how dare I complain!!!!......I haven't walked miles, buckets in hand at the hope of some fresh water!

Dad (as only Dad can do) said, "A rich man's hell can be so much more agonizing than a poor man's plight!" It's about YOUR consciousness right?

Are you safe and well fortified tonight? Do you ever feel reDICK for feeling sorry for yourself?

The way I have always seen it is.... I may not have much but what I have is mine and there is so many that would love to have what little I do have...

So complaining is not in my vocabulary nor do I listen to the ohhh whoa is me from others...

No matter how bad things may get I'm blessed for what I do have... health, kids , grand kids, family & friends....

I just have this little scorning voice in my head when I even START to complain about my petty lil problems.



.....and YES Tex....we ALL do it.

I did feel an immense amount of sorrow when they told me how sick I was in February. I could not stop crying and had to take anxiety meds. But I slowly crawled out of that deep dark place and don't need that medicine anymore. Just trying to take steps in the right direction now.

You see, this is just the thing. Someone facing "real" problems with Grace.

First let me say,Nice thread ((((Beach))))
I am so very blessed that I have had a chance to get to know all of you. This place has become ((home)) to me, over the past almost 8 years.
When I get to complaining and feeling low,well I take it to the extreme,but then after a while, I try to find the good in my personal shortcomings.
That's easier said, then done; sometimes....for most us.

Thank you, for letting me ramble up your thread.
Sherrie.

Sure we all do...at times just have to remember that someone else has it so much worse then we do... Hard at times to think that way when things get really rough... But then I think of those I know that deals with health issues they have or their kids.. It always seems to bring me back out of my pity party really quick...

IMO Sorrow is a human emotion. Self pity is another.
Me, when I feel sorrow, I rarely share it with another, I crawl into bed and have comfort knowing it will pass.
I wont do the self pity thing, I honestly cant see the point.
And if people are sorrowful around me, my natural instinct is to comfort them.
If people have self pity around me, I am like your Dad and point out what they have to be grateful for.
I hope you feel better soon....:)

(((((Sherrie, Kristi)))))



EDIT....and (((Lady))).....not feeling bad...perhaps just guilt of good fortune

i like sparrows...

If by chance I have re-upped on wasabi.

Only if I'm wallowing.
Then I find it helps to give me a mental kick in the pants to stop it.



Might as well also say:
-"How dare I be happy when other people have nothing to be happy about, I should walk a mile in their shoes and dedicate my individual life solely in the service of another human being and making them feel better! I have absolutely no right to live!"
- "How dare I feel hungry when other people aren't eating!"
- "How dare I feel sad when my grandpa dies when people are losing their grandma and grandpa!"


Thanks to the acceptance and spread of utilitarianism in westernized cultures people pursue happiness for the sake of happiness ("I just want you/my kids to be happy!"), while vilifying any negative emotional reaction.

This might be the wrong forum to say this, but I need to say it: Do not worry about things we can't control. take all your problems to God. He will always be there for you and will never forsake you. As long as you trust in Him, things will work out for the better.

I don't just say that just to be saying it, I really believe it. Its hard at first to understand, but if you were to just give it all over to God you will see how your life will change

ohhhh, sorrows. well, that's differnt!

That's nice wyndsiren. But now some comedy.



Captain Jack Sparrow says be gone sorrow and self pity. Argh!

I try not to be too negative or whine and complain. It's not easy. Yes, someone always has it tougher than you. That doesn't make my burdens lighter or better. I still have to deal with my issues. This is not a contest of who has it tougher or worse. I still feel my pain and it hurts. And no, I don't feel any guilt for feeling pain because someone else is having a harder time in the world than I am. We all have our cross to bear in our own way.

I try to vent with my close friends and family. They always place it in perspective and make me feel better. A lot of people end their lives because they don't have an emotional support system. They feel alone and isolated. I have felt that way many times. It becomes overwhelming when you feel like you are carrying your burden alone. When you share your load with someone, it becomes lighter and you realize how foolish you were for isolating yourself. A lot of people don't feel they can share their load or are ashamed to admit that they are suffering emotionally. Then it can go into dangerous territory. It is so important to reach out and ask for help.

I agree with you, but there are lots of people that don't want to ask for help. It takes a certain kind of will power to realize you need help and to ask for it.

And I am still a big believer that there is no problem too big for our Savior to help with.

well said..

We as human in life do face some difficulties which may cause us sorrows, but its left for us to control our emotions, not to let the sorrow eat us up..

This. EXACTLY what I wanted to say, copying & Pasting saves me the typing, haha.

I even think it's unhealthy to not acknowledge your own pains and sorrows, because someone else's life is allegedly worse than yours.

As for your dad, somehow it always seems to be a parent's natural instinct to try and put things in perspective for their offspring. Does not make them right. What their generation needed (toughen up, be a man, don't cry) is not necessarily what our generation needs.

I suppose that there is a certain hypocrisy in on the one hand, saying, "I'm not giving them sympathy when my problems are worse than theirs" and also saying, "Sorry that I'm more concerned about my own problems than someone else's; even if their problems are worse than mine."

Personally, I tend to reserve my concern for people that I know and that actually give a crap about me. I'm generally unmoved by news stories about terrible things happening thousands of miles away to people that I don't know, or have anything to do with. I think the media just tends to have that effect on people, along with the whole not believing that you can do much about it and we're pretty anesthatised to it all and even pay to see the same sort of stuff at the movies.

It's pretty hard for the media to stir people up about anything unless there's an element of, "This could happen to you" about it. A homeless person in the UK may be a lot better off than someone living in a war zone but he's not going to be that interested in the international political situation and the danger of terrorist attacks when he's living in a cardboard box.

It's all relative and a matter of perspective. Someone's child gets ill and I'm supposed to feel sorry for them but at least they have a child and I don't.