Don't be a bully...

Sorry I lost my head..

Apology accepted. don't let your head slip again

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
-Mary Anne Radmacher

learning to be courageous..?

start the day right with a cliche thats trite....

Trite?

A trite clich� to one, could be conventional wisdom to another...

Finding Courage















To Face The Light!

Got five minutes?

Let's talk about the courage to love.

First, listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.

Courage (strength of heart) is a quality that tops my list of importance in life.

I do what I am scared sh**less of and don't deny the fear.

You have courage.

What is not courage?

Your excuses or stories that keep you in inertia (a false peace or contentment—it's numbness), denial of your heart; the emotional compartments meant to sell yourself and others your story.

Pain is a story. It keeps us victims in our own lives. It keeps us repeating patterns of pain without our seeming awareness.

We remain in a story even when we take all the responsibility. It is the same thing.

You lose when you don't have courage and let go of someone or something meaningful in your life.

Living this way will never bring you happiness.

Courageous actions are real, not manipulative or punishing. The key is to recognize courage in yourself to bring it in your relationship.

Can you settle for cowardice in a mate? Courage is the quality of truth directly related to allowing and sustaining love in a partnership.

It is the real indicator that someone is really really in your corner.

Maybe you had courage at one point, but too many experiences hurt, disappointed or left you abandoned.

You closed up shop and called it a day.

Many people stay stuck in this place. It seems like they have it all together—maybe you're the crazy one?

At some point in their lives, too many things happened to hurt them. They recovered by building numbing walls, and telling themselves they are self-aware and smarter than the rest. They got the system beat!

Some will stay locked in their prison, telling others what is wrong with them.

They may come off as open and easy, until you get too close or the prospect of their getting hurt or overwhelmed by opening their heart is too much for them to handle.

Once in a while their facade cracks and truth slips from their heart, oops that feels good.... oops, I remember feeling like this before, now it's time to panic!

They backtrack, distance and can make another person feel kookoo!

They come off coldly intellectual.

They act weird.

What they said yesterday, no longer holds water.

The love they professed when their heart broke through for an instant, now replaced by a cold demeanor.

It is crazy making...and hard to let go of, because your heart knows.

The heart loves, but there's a damn wall!

Don't stop loving and build more walls; keep love alive.

Don’t beat it down.

Turn the love to yourself; be kind.

Don't continue investing in pain. Love them, don't purposely stop, and allow it to change or shift...don't create a battle zone inside.

Courage doesn't mean you have to cut people loose, walk away or be a jerk.

Instead, allow the relationship to dissipate on its own.

How?

Take your focus off the person and put it on yourself.

Over and over if you must.

You'll feel more peace and less suffering. It takes a bit of reminding yourself, but the more you do it and stop blaming others for what they do or don't do—the more you'll experience well-being.

Try not to take heed of words, from well-meaning people saying to move on, find someone else, tell someone off or be strong. It's like going into major surgery and amputating your leg. It's cutting off a part of you when you act to appear strong to others, but it's really another battle with the heart and mind.

The evolution of the heart expands and you bring in other like-hearted people.

I guarantee somewhere, somehow someone will come into your life and match you there. You'll never be alone when you embrace love.

I know how difficult the transition is from believing my heart would screw me or lie.

I thought I was strong!

I avoided anything, from a terse email to running from a committed relationship, even with myself; it all caused me to crumble into a pile of rubble.

At the time I told myself I was so self aware on my spiritual path! Oh ho, ho, ho! I was such a joker!

I remember the day my heart opened up with a universal baseball bat!

You see, I had been wishing for true happiness, peace and love.

If you wish and pray long enough, it happens.

The universe ain't big on stagnation, so when you wish, make sure you are actively moving in that direction or be ready for the pain.

Be prepared to let go of familiar walls, your fortress of a perfect facade and feel courage and love.

Even days I couldn't get out of bed or writhed in pain on my floor, I knew if I went through it, the impossible would become possible in my life.

The numbness of walls separates, clinging to weakness of an untrue story of love.

It means being alone; indulging in activities meant to self-medicate, including "supposed healthy" pursuits. Anytime you feel cut off, there’s a wall involved.

Have the courage to sit with your feelings, see below the numbness and you'll find pain. Maybe, you have had it so long, you figure it's your natural state of being.

It's not.

Once you stop the battle within, life gets easier. You find the "wonder, hopes and dreams" you lost touch with years ago. Now your heart leads to possibility.

Be courageous, through love comes resilience; you will be stronger to withstand most anything; you will be surprised.

Walls ain't got nothing on wholeness!

If you want to know your greatest love, your greatest happiness and feel whole, resilient and able to touch the stars with your dreams...take the first step toward courage...then you will have it all.





Do You Have the Courage to Really Love?-Tracy Crossley

^^^^^^^

Good God Miss Tilly! I didnt know, finding a date, I can respect and can appreciate me despite my being me, here in this mingle forum can be mindblowing!

Light! You intellectuals give me more headaches than any hang overs I have..

I am still reeling from the "rude or not" thread.. very interesting read.

Then I have to re read your latest posts in this thread 5x and I am still nowhere halfway sold out with it.

I am REALLY trying to keep up and learn at the same time, but I'm beginning to wonder if I have it in me

to reason,

to understand logic,

to ask questions,

to discuss and debate topics,

to communicate effectively

and to provide useful inputs

in this Mingle Forum.

Whew!

No wonder Mr. Ciretom's posts are like -
Copy post by line and answer it by line..
I'm very tempted to do so in this one , only I am not sure,
I have the intellectual capability to pit wits with you people.

The courage you have just discuss Miss Tilly with your latest post, with all due respect ma'am sounds like a shrink desk courage definition..I dont know if it is applicable in real life..

So for now let me lay out what I understand about courage..
because if there is one thing I learned from reading your posts,
is you are always relevant, with what are the issues here inside the forum..

For now this..but know that I will be back after I will post something in Tmommy's what do you do in the mean time?


Courage for me is joining a dating website and joining the forum. Opening your inner self to strangers regardless of how they view you, judged you, base on your posts.

Courage for me is placing my LATEST picture on my profile, not so recent picture that had but my typical & usual everyday expression, and pictures of me with other people I interact with almost every day outside mingle.

Courage for me is answering HONESTLY the questions in the profile..Body Type- Stocky ( I would like to choose athletic but my cellulite says otherwise and though I'm active, I'm not that fit)..Do you want children?- Undecided open..( I would like to choose no, the idea of bringing a new life into this world, scared the sh@&^s out of me, but part of me wanted to at least have 1, that took a lot of courage for me to click..undecided/ open)

Now the next answer I could give you in this..I have to borrow words from Mr. MetalWing..7/16/1505:04 PM

THIS FOR ME DEFINES COURAGE - STRENGTH OF HEART


The "might come after" to many of my hobbies is death. However, it is a calculated risk that I not drown, crash and burn, or be murdered by being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I calculate the odds, find them acceptable, and proceed.

Relationship risks are different. You can approach with bravery and defiance and find the animal is wounded and you must now run for your life! One girl's impetuousness is one man's "last straw". Approaching someone with loving communication is a better course of action than jumping out of an airplane with the cheapest rental parachute you can find.


I will be back Ms. Tilly..I'm really interested in this post.

...now I'm tempted to ask again if u are who I think you are..

and am I correct to conclude those "Out out stupidity" is a form of rebuke, even without the In Jesus Name.Amen..in it?


..are u peaved?ticked off?, c'mon it takes someone special to pierce those armors of being cool..

...lol

FIRST HALF OF YOUR POST:


I agree very much on: listen to your heart, not your head. It will tell you the truth about yourself, your life and others.

BUT THAT'S IT. THAT IS WHERE I STOP AGREEING..

This is subjective.
People have different upbringings.Different family experience.
You sound like you actually know the person you are advising in this post,and been with her recently for a year or more?

Again I can only explain myself through concrete example of why I disagree on this..

First Example:
There is someone here in Mingle that I like.
I like her spunk.
But every time I come across her posts, I have this feeling that she doesnt like me.I get curious.
I clicked the link of how many posts she have.. and read her older posts.

What I can derived from her posts is, she is beautiful.
Smart azz at times and very intelligent.
I could say her wit is almost legendary.
If I will be ask 2 words that will remind me of her,
it will be YOUTH AND PARTY..

Somewhere between the recent posts and the not so recent ones change..
she sounded different..


Does that make her a coward?
Manipulative.Punishing?
Why? She just expresses her dislike?
We don't know what is really goin on, in her mind?
What is going through in her life right now?

Maybe she is really disgusted and just hate my guts.
Does she need to justify it with anybody?Why?


Second Example:
Myself.
Let me apply this 1st half of your post to me personally.
Is it possible you mistake,
self-preservation with cowardice..

Inertia..a false peace of contentment & numbness..
Is it because I dont have the same faith that you have right now?
Is it because I prefer 1 bottle of beer instead of prayers at the end of my day?

i find peace in checking river tributaries than being with the medical missions and helping other people.
does that make me less courageous?

Is it really a facade or pretentious, if I prefer to play video games,
instead of interacting with people and being in a crowded room?

Does it really make me a coward if I choose not to stand up for myself
when people say bad things about me?
I sometimes just find it petty or inconsequential.

Does it really make me a coward, that I dont do trial and erros when it comes to love?

Do I love less myself than other people
because until now I am still looking for the right one and refuse to have flings?

I will take courage in love. Please be assured.

I know if he is the right one for me,

because I will bring out the best in him,

and being with him, will make me a better person than I am today.

But it doesnt mean that I dont love myself.
I preserve myself. I have the right to.
I learn early in life, that you have to..no matter what the consequence is.

2nd half of your post is really beautiful and inspiring for me.

Especially about:

Building Walls. .
Love yourself more.


BUT

'Have the courage to sit with your feelings.'

in our busy and hectic schedule? I dont do this everyday.
Weekly? NO. MOnthly, I concede.


Last: If you are who I think you are (just in case)

I love you more.
Stop worrying about other people who are not even there when you needed them.
They are old enough to fight their demons and fears.
Respect them enough, that they have a backbone to fight what they deemed necessary & worth fighting for.
If it makes you feel better, then pray that those people will find your God.
Stay cool, and raise a family that you always dream of.
Continue to write..and publish it girl..you have the gift, you know what I mean.

peace

We can find logic or an understanding of what we fear. What may come is an uncertainty, far scarier than that we can predict.

Lady,

"Last: If you are who I think you are (just in case)

I love you more.
Stop worrying about other people who are not even there when you needed them.
They are old enough to fight their demons and fears.
Respect them enough, that they have a backbone to fight what they deemed necessary & worth fighting for.
If it makes you feel better, then pray that those people will find your God.
Stay cool, and raise a family that you always dream of.
Continue to write..and publish it girl..you have the gift, you know what I mean".

--------------------------------------------------
You last paragraph - pretty brave, pretty good, pretty smart, pretty wise. Encouraging as well.

She is la belle femme - the author of our soul, the light that shines in a world, the light that shines
In all our souls, she's the light for us all, to give, to enjoy, to hold, to share in good times and bad times.

The anchor of "Friends, past, future and present thread"... :lsmooched: