I think shes getting perty for her ride to the vets.

> > >>>Mr. Fenton is my hero
> > >
> > >>>This is why women should never take men shopping against their
> >will.....
> > >>>
> > >>>After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
> > >>>accompany
> > >>>
> > >>>her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
> > >>>
> > >>>Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring
> > >>>and
> > >>>preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton
> >was
> > >>>like
> > >>>
> > >>>most women -- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the
> > >>>following
> > >>>
> > >>>letter from her local Wal-Mart.
> > >>>
> > >>>Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> > >>>
> > >>>Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> >commotion
> > >>>in
> > >>>our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban
> > >>>both
> > >>>of
> > >>>you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below
> > >>>and
> > >>>are
> > >>>
> > >>>documented by our video surveillance cameras.
> > >>>
> > >>>1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> > >>>them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
> > >>>
> > >>>2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
> > >>>intervals.
> > >>>
> > >>>3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> > >>>women's
> > >>>restroom.
> > >>>
> > >>>4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
> > >>>"Code 3 in Housewares - get on it right away."
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
> >on
> > >>>layaway.
> > >>>
> > >>>6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
> > >>>
> > >>>7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
> > >>>shoppers
> > >>>
> > >>>he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
> > >>>bedding department.
> > >>>
> > >>>8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
> > >>>crying
> > >>>and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
> > >>>
> > >>>9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> > >>>mirror
> > >>>while he picked his nose.
> > >>>
> > >>>10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
> >asked
> > >>>the
> > >>>clerk where the antidepressants were.
> > >>>
> > >>>11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
> >humming
> > >>>the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> > >>>
> > >>>12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
> > >>>by
> > >>>using different sizes of funnels.
> > >>>
> > >>>13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
> >through,
> > >>>yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
> > >>>
> > >>>14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> > >>>assumed
> > >>>a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
> > >>>
> > >>>And last, but not least,
> > >>>
> > >>>15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> >awhile,
> > >>>then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>Regards,
> > >>>
> > >>>Wal-Mart.
> > >>>

Dear Diary, (like anyone but you will care) I'm back, sometimes, hahahahaahhhhhhhhhhhh, jokes in the Diary thread. What will they think of next?

Holy Hell!!!!!!! They locked down a thread for being too long??? Wow

Dear diary...........$102 later, shadow is well and on antibiotics and they shaved his wound and stuck a thermometer in his

Dear diary........I think eric and I ate too much!!!

How did he feel about that? Did Eric get all excited?

Shadow was ok with it but eric went and got high on chocolate!!!

Dear diary..........eric was doing magic tricks today and something went really really wrong......

Was he trying to insert a potato somewhere he probably shouldn't?

dear diary,

shadow may be all snuggly again tonight. so enjoy! but don't push him away...

nooooooooooo look at what is in eric's hand!!!

Dear diary........I like snuggling beside me but dont sleep on my back!!!!

Is he ripping body parts off neighbourhood children?

only an ear!!!

That's where it all starts. Then it escalates to arms and legs. Sooner or later you're going to have to get him some serious help. Maybe even shock treatment.

youve driven poor eric to drink now kid!!!!

If it wasn't me it would just have been some other excuse. I get the feeling he's a bit weak and feeble if that's all it took.

oh , eric......... your scaring kevin now...........