Saying that I act like a petulant child is kind of insulting. I've had to take that rubbish from my father for years every time I complain about them treating me like a child and of course that makes me angry.

He's the one with the anger problem though, like I've said and given you examples of it. It's not just my girlfriends he criticises. He sneers at everything that I do or like and it has been like that since I was a child and yes, you could call it a Freudian relationship and of course my upbringing has shaped my personality.

If family therapy was an option and we could sit round a table and talk about it that would possibly be helpful but there's no way my father would do that. Supposedly he's sorry about the incident last week but I just hear that from other people in the family every time he acts like an arsehole towards me and we fall out. He won't even pick up the phone and talk to me. Neither will my sister.

When my mother was here today she said she just had a text from my sister, saying that she hoped that I was feeling better but she doesn't really care about me and she just says these things to my mother because my mother cares and gets upset when my mother tells her about stuff like this.

I can talk to my brother sometimes now and I did talk to my mother about how I'm feeling today but the way it is in my family we don't talk to each other and everything goes through my mother, down to even inviting me to this naming ceremony for my niece, which I don't intend to go to now because the last time I went to one of those when she had her first baby I had people asking me how I feel about being an uncle now and all I could say was that it doesn't really mean anything to me because my sister never calls or visits me and the last time she asked me out for a meal it was just because she wanted something from me.

I have tried with this family and I have practically begged that sister of mine to spend a bit of time with me and build a proper brother-sister relationship but she's not interested.

Like I said, I've been inviting my parents out for dinner on a regular basis for at least a year now but my father even complains about that and only comes because my mother tells him to. I've tried for years to get on with him and it's always me having to talk about things that he is interested in, like movies, because he only sneers at my interests, or gives me the stony silence.

Yeah, maybe talking with strangers on the internet like this is therapy but I don't want to go and see some professional that isn't personally involved because it's just talk and what I need is practical help, or a genuine friend to be there for me. I don't have that just now because the girl that I liked isn't calling me anymore and that's why I'm upset.

I had no other friends and I'm lonely. Of course I look to my family for support when nobody else cares at all. I can talk to my mother and she does but has too many other commitments now to help me with much. She used to live with me during the week when I lost my sight and it was convenient for her because she was still working then and it was less traveling for her and I've told her that I'll never forget that time that we had or that last day with my old dog when we had to take him to be put down but that's in the past and now I have to get on with my life on my own and it is different when you have a disability and when there are things that you simply can't do unless you ask people to help you.

It's kind of BS to call that ever becoming independant and it is easier to accept help from family or friends or a partner than going out there and having to ask strangers , even when your family treats you like a child or your girlfriend does and it leads to arguments.

Are there programs that could assist you in learning how to function with your loss of sight?perhaps a seeing eye dog?There is a professor at my college that is blind and has a dog and sometimes just a cane
He seems to function fairly well but perhaps he has been doing this for quite some time. I would imagine that you are going thru period of loss and adjustment and this is very much like the grieving process

The more you accept and rely on help from others
the less you will learn to do for yourself

I lost my sight when I was twenty eight and I'm forty six now, so no, it's not like that and when it happened all those years ago and I tried to cope without my family and went to social workers and charities they weren't very helpful and couldn't wait to close the case, as I said.

The social worker did help me to get a flat and I thought that I could make a new start there but when I tried a white stick I got harassment from kids. They threw stones at me and when I called the social worker and told him that I had to get out of there he just said that I would get that anywhere and that he thought that I should just stay where I was. So, I had to go back to my family for help and I got another flat somewhere else and my mum stayed with me for a few years, like I said and it was a mutually beneficial arangement.

I've been turned down for a guide dog twice and they won't give me one. I'm either not blind enough or don't know how to play the system, or they don't help people like me that they can't treat like a child. I asked another charity for help and they have "befrienders" but because I don't like people grabbing my arm and pushing me about and complained about that they refused to take me anywhere again.

I am not completely blind and can get about without bumping into things but I still have mobility problems because I would, for instance, need a taxi driver to get me to that guy's door and ring the buzzer for me if I did go there and if I did need to go to the toilet in the cinema, or any place that I didn't know where it was, somebody would have to show me the way.

What I did was to just get a rescue dog and put a harness on him and that lets people know that I have sight problems but I don't get the harassment that blind people get when they use a cane. That dog died eventually, as I said and when I got over the depression of that loss I got another dog and that's the dog that I have now and I go everywhere with her and that works fairly well. It has been a case of having to do it on my own though and with some help from my family.

I would still have to ask people for help though and the thing is, if you go into a shop, for example, they aren't usually that helpful and don't have much patience if you keep asking them what colour shoes are and how much they cost and that sort of thing. So, it's better if someone like a friend or family member takes me out if I want to buy clothes or whatever.

Have you ever noticed that some people always have "But-iteiss" whenever people have solutions to coping with common life problems?

"But" so and so is mean to me all my life. Actually a lot of so and so's that have put up with his abuse for years and still try to include him activities the rare moments he is sober by his own admission.

"But " if some recently departed girlfriend, in a series, had not abandoned him.

"But" professionals who has coped with the same disability and see legions of others become independent mastering new skills is ALWAYS asking the impossible.

"But" of course a Mongrel from the pound is superior to a trained canine companion. And a emergency that everyone is suppose to come running and spend LOTS of money one because he did not protect said animal.

"But" he is being picked on because he was provided a flat he could afford because it was not a posh enough neighborhood. Something he abandoned and displaced his family to cater to him for years longer. Evidently not good enough since he is now in anohter residence.

"But" he does not like the meals he is delivered or treated to in various places. Even when other's pay.

"But" expecting and aged parent with a disabled spouse to always attend him, a grown adult first before others is fair.

"But" a sister is suppose to be his life long slave to the exclusion of her own children.

"But' his brother is the same failed adult because he is dealing with his own problems.

"But" he is not and addict to drugs or alcohol but he considers both a necessity over food or a minimally paid chore worker to prevent him from living in filth and goes on week long benders with money he begs off his mother when he has his own.

"But" he is being picked on by someone who has repeatedly referred him and explain the systems, the realities, and how too's of living well as an independent disabled adult from personal and professional experience; and resorts to name calling and outright lies because he can not remember who has said what to him.

"But' his new Mingle friend who has shown extreme patience is treating him like a child because a suggestion of a possible solution doesn't appeal to him for the umpteenth time.

"But" maybe he will go and pout for a while because he asks for yet another audience to listen to him whine and ignores getting the same response.

Wow, that's quite a diatribe there Joyce and it's going to take me ages to respond to all of that point by point where I find it comprehensible enough to say anything more apart from, "Huh? Are you drunk?"

""But" so and so is mean to me all my life. Actually a lot of so and so's that have put up with his abuse for years and still try to include him activities the rare moments he is sober by his own admission."

Don't know who you mean and I have long periods of sobriety actually.

"" if some recently departed girlfriend, in a series, had not abandoned him"

I wouldn't be feeling miserable but at least if it's a long series I'm getting plenty of poontang I suppose.

""But" professionals who has coped with the same disability and see legions of others become independent mastering new skills is ALWAYS asking the impossible."

It's not the same disability if one man is blind and the other man is partially sighted but they don't treat you like an individual and they offer one size fits all solutions, as in my example of people grabbing my arm when I don't need or want them to do that.

"" of course a Mongrel from the pound is superior to a trained canine companion. And a emergency that everyone is suppose to come running and spend LOTS of money one because he did not protect said animal"

I told you that they wouldn't give me a trained animal but I want to have a mobility aid that I feel comfortable with and won't invite harassment. I have spoken to people that are completely blind and either have to use a cane or not go out and they've told me that they do get harassed when they use one but if you have a dog that doesn't really happen and people like dogs and my dog is a really nice friendly dog.

She was in my garden and a cat scratched her. I take her to the vet regularly and pay my own bills, thankyou. But did want somebody to take a look and see if she was seriously wounded and I have poor vision.

" he is being picked on because he was provided a flat he could afford because it was not a posh enough neighborhood. Something he abandoned and displaced his family to cater to him for years longer. Evidently not good enough since he is now in anohter residence."

No. I had to get out of there and I went back to my parents' home for about a week until my landlords investigated to confirm that it was harassment and they offered me another flat in a different area and the rent is the same and it's still just a council scheme and not a posh area at all.

I didn't displace my family. My mother was working in a hospital near my home and if she hadn't stayed with me during the week she would have to have done a lot of traveling to work every day. It was a mutually beneficial arangement, as I said and I used to visit them at weekends in the village where they live, which was my grandparent's house.

I mentioned my grandfather before. He was the man that shot a German in the "great war".

"" he does not like the meals he is delivered or treated to in various places. Even when other's pay."

Well, it's supermarket crap that they bring me but I'm a single guy and it's edible I suppose. I like the food fine when we go out to restaurants but can't really enjoy it if I'm sitting there with an uptight person that's upsetting me by going on about my problems or nagging.

I told you that I saw a shrink about anxiety in the past and when I feel anxious I can't eat because I feel like I'm choking on my food. I do sometimes drink beer to help me relax though and there's a difference between medicinal use and abuse of alcohol.

"" expecting and aged parent with a disabled spouse to always attend him, a grown adult first before others is fair"

No. Not always and I never said anything like that. Straw man argument.

My dad's not deaf. He's just an old man and his hearing and sight isn't as good as it was when he was a young man but he wouldn't like you calling him disabled because he now wears reading glasses and he can't hear a pin drop. He can hear you well enough if you're not trying to speak to him from another room and don't mumble.

""But" a sister is suppose to be his life long slave to the exclusion of her own children."

Not at all but it would be nice if she would talk to me occasionally at least or do something to be a nice sister to me, rather than completely excluding me from her life and I only ever see her at family gatherings, which are few and far between.

""But' his brother is the same failed adult because he is dealing with his own problems."

Well, I don't want to say much about my brother here but I am glad that he's trying to get his act together now and I was the one there for all of those years giving my mother support when he was a junky and I was there for him when he was suffering from severe mental health problems.

"" he is not and addict to drugs or alcohol but he considers both a necessity over food or a minimally paid chore worker to prevent him from living in filth and goes on week long benders with money he begs off his mother when he has his own."

No. It's my money and she just goes to the bank for me because it's hard for me to use a cash machine and I had enough money to be able to buy both food and beer but I'm still dependant on my mother coming to see me and give me my money and she visits me once a week at the moment and wants to do those things, whether I would rather do them myself or not. It's nice of her to do it on the one hand but on the other I want control over my own finances and not her giving me how much of my own money as she wants to and telling me that I'm going to go broke if I keep smoking dope and drinking, even though I've got a few grand in the bank and live within my means.

Yeah, this place is a bit of a shithole at the moment but I can't be bothered to do much housework to make the place nicer when I've not got a girlfriend and I did say that I'm waiting for my landlords to do work on my kitchen, bathroom and heating and I'll get the place decorated and sorted out then.

"" he is being picked on by someone who has repeatedly referred him and explain the systems, the realities, and how too's of living well as an independent disabled adult from personal and professional experience; and resorts to name calling and outright lies because he can not remember who has said what to him."

I assume that you're talking about yourself here. Well, it's true that I don't always read all of your posts. Many people don't. Perhaps it would be helpful if you could give the ocasional TL; DR version.

You were the one jumping into this thread and bringing up personal things about me and attacking me and posting off topic inflamatory remarks is the definition of trolling.

I have absolutely no idea what lies you mean but you are certainly full of BS.

At this time we fell this thread has run it's course..


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