So I have been on and off on online dating sites for years I ensure that I never pay for to use the services of dating websites because I'm not a mug. However in my experiences on these sites I have spoken to a fair amount of people however on 3 occasions I met up with people. The first person was called Tina and we were supposed to meet at the Trafford Centre in Manchester however due to having never been their before I got lost along the way so instead of meeting at 2pm I finally got their at 3.15pm. This wasn't a great start but what could I do. I even planned the route before I left and still made a wrong turn. When I got their and found her she was sat on a bench bored out of her head. We met with a weird atmosphere and my shyness came out a little because I didn't know what to say or how to behave. We ended up playing some pool in the arcade which to my amazement she paid for. Being someone who never backs down I beat her in every game except one when I potted the black illegally. After we went our separate ways back home and any text or online message i sent went unanswered. A few months later she started to try and butter up my mate and I told him not to bother.

The second was a girl called Hayley. We chose to meet in a neutral place that favored neither of us. We went to some garden centre and pratted about a bit. We went to the coffee shop where typically I bought a coke. We went on the train ride and sat opposite one another and it seemed quite nice. I thought I was finally getting somewhere. Then a few days or weeks later we had planned to go bowling. During the exchange of text messages we had arranged what time to get their and so on. Eventually all of a sudden I couldn't text her. The phone was playing up. I tried everything I could to let her know to prevent stitching her up but I couldn't. Eventually I worked out the problem but I thought it was too late. She would have been sat their for an hour and hates me etc etc. Instead turns out she didn't go which was good but she started arguing about me using "excuses" not to meet her. Eventually we got over this and I met her on new years eve. I met her brother and his girlfriend in a pub near where she lives. It got boring quite quickly so me and her went to a nearby town where it was more lively. We were going in these clubs where some of her friends were and (she didn't drink, she drove) she showed her true colors to me. It was as if she'd had a lot to drink with the way she behaved and it totally put me off. I thought your 2 years older and acting like your 5 years old. She eventually dropped me off at my car and after conversation about kissing (something I had never done) we had 3 attempts at kissing thus my first kiss and it was all ballsed up because i wasn't any good. After that night I ended it because she showed her true colors to me and it wasn't the person I liked initially.

Third person I met was called Astra. Lived quite far away and her car was buggered so I said I'd meet her where she lived. She gave me directions and eventually I found it. I thought right hopefully all goes well. Got some new clothes and third time lucky surely? The second I pulled up I knew I had made a mistake. The person I saw was not the quite the person in the pictures. I got out the car to this scruffy girl and her dog. She said we were going dog walking which I thought was fine, it gets us out and about and can talk about stuff and get to know one another. We only went for a long dog walk through some of the worst muddy terrain imaginable and I thought so much for buying some new shoes. We went back to her house and her family was in. They didn't seem like my presence made a difference. She asked If I wanted a drink so I said I'd have a cordial. She picked up an already used glass that had an apple core in it Took the core out and made a cordial in it. I thought wow, I won't be drinking that. Then we sat bored in her living room, she went through all sorts about her dogs, her cats, her fish and god knows what else. She said what do i want to do. Well since I don't know the area I let her decide. Eventually we ended up playing cards because there wasn't anything else to do. After having been their for about 6 hours it was time to say goodbye. She wanted a goodbye kiss to which I made out that I had never kissed before I was too shy to do so and so it ended in a her hugging me and me not hugging back. I spent about an hour getting home and was ultimately so relieved when i got back. I spent some time talking to my mum of the disaster and she says I'll find someone one day.

My conclusion of these three occasions has led me to believe that the sane attractive females are taken by the sane attractive males. The insane and unattractive females who likely have Bi-Polar are the only types of women that end up on dating websites. Tina was full of her self, Hayley was outragously immature and Astra was plain dumb and ugly

...lol...i feel sorry for you...thanks for sharing, tho...

With utmost respect toward your post, I would definitely like to know what Tina, Hayley and Astra would have loved to say about 'you' (If at all they did 'care' to express)!

Yea gotta agree with you

don't give up.

There's some truth in what you say. I've met a few women with mental health problems through this and you do start to ask yourself if the mad impulsive types are the only ones that are likely to actually make a date sometimes. The women you talk about sound relatively sane compared to some I've met. It's not necessarily the "good men" that are getting all the "good women" though. You just sound a bit immature (never kissed a girl) and so do these girls.

Online dating works for some. It also depends on what you want or expect to get out of it. I've had a couple of brief relationships out of it and met a few people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. It helped me to move on from an ex that I was still hung up on. It's something that a lot of people do these days and they aren't all freaks. It is just different from meeting people in the real world and because people will just ignore you without reservations and reject you purely on first impressions from a profile it can dent your confidence and make you wonder if you're just wasting your time.

I don't know.. you play pool with one AND let her pay. then you proceed to beat her ( really trying to) in every game. Then you get lost.. then problems with your phone.. then you fumble the all important kiss..

I would love to sit those 3 down and get their side of the story.. I have a feeling it would differ... greatly.. from yours... JMO

p.s.. then you talk to your Mother about this stuff?

I offered to pay but she beat me to it. Besides she paid after I thrashed her. Got lost before I met her. Then with #2 I had problems with my phone and of course I fumbled the kiss. I'd never kissed before. You never mentioned anything about girl #3. I would love their side too but #1 just blew me off. #2 was immature so i blew her off and #3 was thick and ugly

Went in 8 dates first year after my.divorce and everyone of them were part comedy,part tragedy and all wrong for me
happens that way sometimes

Well, to tell you the truth you lost me after #2.. post was too long.. really couldn't see it getting any better. But if you say #3 was " thick and ugly" well that says a lot right there.

Maybe you will get a chance at #4.. maybe

Also, the grapes are sour.

I'm on here looking for Mrs Right.

I've still got a good 30 years left in me and don't plan to spend it being lonely.

I've learned that with online dating, you can't get infatuated with just a few emails. Otherwise your relationships will be short.

I'm being patient and taking the time to get to know someone over a period of time before making any rash decisions.

You have to know the person's character before you can make a judgement if he or she is right for you. Unless you're online just looking for flings and quick hookups.

Look out for those who seem possessive. That only leads to trouble.

No more or less than any other type of dating.
At least once you realize that ever since you hit puberty you and your mind have been constantly evaluating and rejecting everyone you see in the periphery and background.

All online dating does is bring that process into your focus and attention.
So instead of just seeing the 40 year old crazy woman walking by and forgetting about her once she's past, you sit there and stare at her photos, and read her profile, and wonder "is she the one? Should I email her? What should I do? Does she have kids? What's her profile say about her? and so much more."

People that use online dating, especially instead of meeting people "in real life," are working harder than they really have to.

They are simply offered the illusion of choice, hope, and potential success, when it's no different than just hanging out at a grocery store.


There is nothing to say why you met these people.
For all I know on some level you wanted to prove that online dating didn't work.
Or you were in school and only really wanted a diversion.
IOW you could have chosen people knowing, on some level, that it would turn out exactly how it did, and ultimately that's what you wanted.


3 occasions is in no way statistically significant for anything.
At best you are using them to justify what you already believed before having met them.


I would agree that dating websites are no different than bars.
Over time they go from the new, hip, trendy place that have high turnover, to dive bars full of regulars that no one really wants to date or take anywhere else, that ultimately become institutions to the place and the only thing keeping it in business.

And even if there is a renovation, the regulars stick around, and over time drive it back into a dive bar and new people away.

Although, occasionally someone new will stumble in just because it's a cheap and convenient location. But they aren't going to stick around long.

before i respond...do you want brutally honest?

or do you want to rainbows blown up your arse?

I have to wonder by some of the other posts you have posted maybe your "picker" is the one that is broken..Since you are the one that chose to date these ladies..

Maybe you need to take some time and figure out what you are really wanting and then look for that person instead of doing a shotgun style of dating...

Just my opinion

Well Its difficult when you don't have the confidence to speak to people in public that you like, hence trying online. However the first girl didn't seem to bad but when she stopped replying to my texts and msn messages I gave up on her. The second one I thought was on the track to perfect but then during new years eve she showed that deep down she was just immature by gloating and laughing AT her mates to somehow make herself look better. The third seem capable of stringing sentences together and so I went along with it until I met her and wished I had puked all over her.

As i have only just joined the site i havent yet had a chance to go on any dates,On line dating seems a great way of having the chance to get to know some one first...

So nice we have the option to view the post people write. You learn a lot about how you are going to be treated and your real choices.

Then consider this a trail run... Build your confidence in being who you are and how you will be in public.

I myself have always believed what a person sees of me is what they are going to get in person. Way to hard not to be anything else.




Amen.... I was miserable when it had a glitch in it..