Well Its difficult when you don't have the confidence to speak to people in public that you like, hence trying online.

Sadly my psychology is a big ball of mess and there are too many needles in the haystack to waste the time picking them out one by one. I have way too much useless counseling to know that I need more than help.

Therapy will only help if you chose to have it help.. That I do know for a fact. Counseling is useless when either the therapist and or the client refuses to work on said issues.

If I had a therapist that wasn't working out I would fire them and find one that does work with my personality.

To be fair she was chipping away at a few minor issues trying to lead upto the main issue. I laid every single one of my cards on the table and trust me, I have a lot of decks of cards. We managed to make challenges and tasks for me to complete and I was doing well but then eventually all the weeks would be the same. I had handled the easy stuff with ease but it was as if she didn't know how to progress me from there and so we were going over the same things every time and it was a waste of time. Then I missed an appointment because of work and they took me off the list that I had waited over 12 months for. So we pulled a few needles out of the haystack. Didn't change anything.

no one here can give sound advise without hearing the other 3 stories, which I think would differ greatly from your.

You started this thread by saying something about the women having issues but now you're saying that you're messed up yourself because you were bullied at school. The thing is, you will tend to attract certain types of people if you talk about your problems. For one thing, people with problems themselves will probably be more sympathetic towards you and will expect you to be understanding and tolerant with them. They can also use it as a reason for dumping you or refusing to get seriously involved.

It's a tricky one because it seems to me that having a girlfriend that you could confide in could help you more than professional therapy but someone that you're romantically involved with may well use things that you tell them about yourself against you. That may not be an entirely bad thing, although it might seem abusive. When I met a woman several years ago I was insecure about certain things like going out in public and that led to constant arguments and complaints from her. The woman may have been virtually impossible to please but I think that I needed a boot up the arse at the time and I did take on board a lot of what she said about how I could be better as a boyfriend and tried not to make the same mistakes with other women. Dating can be a learning experience like that.

all 3 of those could have gine WAY differently. .....

but don't give up....here's advice fir #4

1. find someone that
a. shares an interest with you
OR
b. has an interest that you've been curious about. ..bear in mind this has to be a GENUINE interest on your part.....now you teo have at LEAST one topic of conversation

2. Have a plan for the date! if the traditional "dinner&movie" isn't your thing then don't do it....mini golf, frisbee in park, hell even a drive to a local park for a picnic....ANY plan....take her out (outfof her house FOR SURE!).....you may find it new territory, but YOU handle the details. ..

I find a lot of guys that struggle to have 'good' dates...basically want HER to plan the date.....

I.e "want to o see a movie? " assuming she says yes. ...
their next move is "what do you want to see? " "when should I pick you up" "what theater do you like" ...it's like a game of twenty questions. ....basically you're wanting them to do YOUR work for you. ...

plan it yourself, and confirm it works with their schedule. ....I.e "hey the new 'movie title' is playing at 9pm, there is a good Chinese place around the corner, pick you up at 7 for dinner?"....trust me if something in your plan doesn't work for them they'll let you know....but don't expect them to do your job for you..

all they should have to do is show up, the date itself is your responsibility. ...

Yes

Lmao .. Op .. Perhaps you should review your idea of dating and save dates for someone you actually like or have established a connection with . If I was meeting someone i had met online .. for the first time ...I would choose something simple like meeting for a coffee .. lunch or a drink . I would not view it as a date but a chance to check each other out and determine if there was any chemistry .

As for the other matter ... your attitude ... and the way you depict women online ... Shows a lack of maturity and respect . Success is seldom determined by failure .. But by your attitude and how you conduct yourself . Dating is no different . Best of luck :-)

psst .. even if you disagreed with me 100% I would never hate you .. But I might let down your car tyres .. Laughing . Just as well we are in different countries

Everybody here is my witness!!!

She said what do i want to do. Well since I don't know the area I let her decide. Eventually we ended up playing cards because there wasn't anything else to do

She wanted a goodbye kiss to which I made out that I had never kissed before I was too shy to do so and so it ended in a her hugging me and me not hugging back

My conclusion of these three occasions has led me to believe that the sane attractive females are taken by the sane attractive males. The insane and unattractive females who likely have Bi-Polar are the only types of women that end up on dating websites. Tina was full of her self, Hayley was outragously immature and Astra was plain dumb and ugly

So I have been on and off on online dating sites for years I ensure that I never pay for to use the services of dating websites because I'm not a mug. However in my experiences on these sites I have spoken to a fair amount of people however on 3 occasions I met up with people. The first person was called Tina and we were supposed to meet at the Trafford Centre in Manchester however due to having never been their before I got lost along the way so instead of meeting at 2pm I finally got their at 3.15pm. This wasn't a great start but what could I do. I even planned the route before I left and still made a wrong turn. When I got their and found her she was sat on a bench bored out of her head. We met with a weird atmosphere and my shyness came out a little because I didn't know what to say or how to behave. We ended up playing some pool in the arcade which to my amazement she paid for. Being someone who never backs down I beat her in every game except one when I potted the black illegally. After we went our separate ways back home and any text or online message i sent went unanswered. A few months later she started to try and butter up my mate and I told him not to bother.

The second was a girl called Hayley. We chose to meet in a neutral place that favored neither of us. We went to some garden centre and pratted about a bit. We went to the coffee shop where typically I bought a coke. We went on the train ride and sat opposite one another and it seemed quite nice. I thought I was finally getting somewhere. Then a few days or weeks later we had planned to go bowling. During the exchange of text messages we had arranged what time to get their and so on. Eventually all of a sudden I couldn't text her. The phone was playing up. I tried everything I could to let her know to prevent stitching her up but I couldn't. Eventually I worked out the problem but I thought it was too late. She would have been sat their for an hour and hates me etc etc. Instead turns out she didn't go which was good but she started arguing about me using "excuses" not to meet her. Eventually we got over this and I met her on new years eve. I met her brother and his girlfriend in a pub near where she lives. It got boring quite quickly so me and her went to a nearby town where it was more lively. We were going in these clubs where some of her friends were and (she didn't drink, she drove) she showed her true colors to me. It was as if she'd had a lot to drink with the way she behaved and it totally put me off. I thought your 2 years older and acting like your 5 years old. She eventually dropped me off at my car and after conversation about kissing (something I had never done) we had 3 attempts at kissing thus my first kiss and it was all ballsed up because i wasn't any good. After that night I ended it because she showed her true colors to me and it wasn't the person I liked initially.

Third person I met was called Astra. Lived quite far away and her car was buggered so I said I'd meet her where she lived. She gave me directions and eventually I found it. I thought right hopefully all goes well. Got some new clothes and third time lucky surely? The second I pulled up I knew I had made a mistake. The person I saw was not the quite the person in the pictures. I got out the car to this scruffy girl and her dog. She said we were going dog walking which I thought was fine, it gets us out and about and can talk about stuff and get to know one another. We only went for a long dog walk through some of the worst muddy terrain imaginable and I thought so much for buying some new shoes. We went back to her house and her family was in. They didn't seem like my presence made a difference. She asked If I wanted a drink so I said I'd have a cordial. She picked up an already used glass that had an apple core in it Took the core out and made a cordial in it. I thought wow, I won't be drinking that. Then we sat bored in her living room, she went through all sorts about her dogs, her cats, her fish and god knows what else. She said what do i want to do. Well since I don't know the area I let her decide. Eventually we ended up playing cards because there wasn't anything else to do. After having been their for about 6 hours it was time to say goodbye. She wanted a goodbye kiss to which I made out that I had never kissed before I was too shy to do so and so it ended in a her hugging me and me not hugging back. I spent about an hour getting home and was ultimately so relieved when i got back. I spent some time talking to my mum of the disaster and she says I'll find someone one day.

My conclusion of these three occasions has led me to believe that the sane attractive females are taken by the sane attractive males. The insane and unattractive females who likely have Bi-Polar are the only types of women that end up on dating websites. Tina was full of her self, Hayley was outragously immature and Astra was plain dumb and ugly