I was dead set against ever being in a LDR after a disastrous one.
Well, I'm in one now.
It will be my last, because we both want it to last forever.
We're both giving 100%.
That's what it takes, if you really want it.

Amen Babe..... And like someone else has stated early on discuss which one is moving.... We know which one for us..

All love is as real as the person who loves, and who knows what it is that they are doing (it's sneakier than many people think). That's it.

As for long distance, I guess I think that it's like everything else I've dealt with: some people know themselves better than others, some people have different perceptions of space and time than others, and some people see the universe in different ways than others.

For some, distance and difference is almost invisible, for others it is impenetrable.

Sometimes, when I look across a continent, I see only possibilities. Other times, the space of a single room is too great to cross.

Best advice: figure YOURSELF out first. You can't go too far wrong when you know you well, and you wont do anything much right if you don't.

The bs meter part is really important. Especially when you first start doing this. Scammers tend to troll the sites looking for new accounts to pounce on. After a bit you'll get quite good at spotting real profiles.

It's nice to see such a success. Congrats to you two

Dude. Skype sex....it is so 2016!

My goodness, I have been in one for 5 years,
well 2 of those years, until he moved here.
I am thinking he is not a scammer.

I've done it twice. I'll never do it again. Both times was really hard on me. I did all the traveling. Not once did either offer to come to me. And that's the way a lot of them will do you. I've seen a few on here that I thought was appealing. But, I'm just not gonna do it again.

I've found that a lot of people are very good at hiding what they really are. They can make you believe that they feel the same way you do. But when it gets to where the rubber meets the road, Well, You find out different.

It is pretty easy to figure out if someone is willing to work to make a relationship happen. If a person is locked into their location and would not consider bringing in and outsider to their circle of friends/family then things will fizzle.

I married a soldier that bumped us around a lot of places but we did it together and our family always had friends and family with in a short time. Yea we joined a lot of groups and went the extra mile to get along in each new neighborhood but doing a long distance relationship for the possible rewards is way better than settling for someone you don't like and really don't want just because they are local.

And the world is a lot smaller than you think it is. Just about every major city has a Walmart and a church you would attend. Most have a butcher, baker, and a candlestick maker. lol. The bottom line is are you willing to bloom where you are planted or are you going to moan and cry like a calf crying in a rainstorm for his momma?

Scammers are pretty easy to weed out. They will not go tot he trouble to know much more about the culture somewhere beyond what Wickapedia says. Talk about the weather, ask them about their job, or where they went to school. Insist they post a current picture. Their story unravels pretty fast. ANYONE that expects you to foot the bill for the phone calls or the ticket tell to get lost. As far as military keep in mind governments do NOT like to rile the locals and foraging off the land went out with the Roman empire. They have food, clothing, medical, entertainment, and proper military addresses and if they don't want to give that to you then they have lifted a pretty picture and are playing you. International Red Cross will always help military people be in contact with their children and parents so don't buy their sob stories.

Generally people who are desperate to leave their area behind on your nickel are blood suckers that have burned every local resource around and is that really who you want in your life? If they care about you they will work, safe, and get a job transfer and or a scholarship to go to school so they can be near you. They won't plan to lay up on your couch and mooch off you. A good one won't need rescued.

Wise woman, good advise.

"A butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker"

Gold

Awwwwww.
That is when it happens, you know.
When you have walked away.
And that is how you will know also, if someone
makes you voluntarily jump in again.

It can happen.

he didn't lie about where he was at to begin with did he? i don't see the point in proceeding when it starts with a lie...

That would bea scam...

I should tell anyone new here, some of the scammers are quite good. They use something called whatsapp. It allows them to use proxy numbers to call and text from, so they appear to be where they say they are. The key is that if you email with them, look in the metadata, check the time difference, this is how I figured it out when I got fooled for a week

I've even gotten to the spot to where I don't want to travel at all. 15, maybe 20 miles at the most. I just really haven't had very good luck with this. I send out messages. Some answer, some don't. It's all good. I know what time it is. But I swear I think my picker is broken. It's like, I seem to pick out a good person. A lady that has her head on straight.

She always seems like she is as good of a lady as any man could ask for. But for whatever reason they always seem to go nuts within 6 to 8 months. And start doing some of the craziest crap you ever saw. They get full of drama, and for lack of a better word, just crazy.

It's because of this and a few other things that I won't let myself get involved with someone way off. I would hate to put in all that effort and time just to find out down the road that this is another nutty person.

Do you live in a large city?

I am sorry I remember a few years ago I quit dating period I told everyone my "man Picker" was broke..
You may be right take time off and get it fixed and try again..I know when I fixed it life became so much easier...

No, I live in a small town in NW Georgia. I'm about 70 miles NW of Atlanta.




I wish I knew how to fix it. I've taken time off several times. And thought about it in depth. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's like they hide it really well. And when they think they have me, that's when all he.ll breaks loose.

This is exactly why I refuse to give any personal contact info until I am comfortable. I will talk on here as much as they like. when they throw a fit about it, try to talk me into it, or stop talking to me altogether, I've rooted out another one. If they are not a scammer or an a$$hole, they will understand this, and respect my wishes. If not, they are gone and no more worries. I am worth getting to know better in a manner that makes me comfortable.