The thing with spanking kids is, it gets quick results but not very good results in the long term. Love, patience, understanding and communication are the best ways for kids to learn how to behave in the long term. That's why I say, if you spank your kid because at that moment you saw no other way, you should see it as a mistake and learn from it, learn to think of any ways to avoid violence. What if your kid is about to do something that will hurt themselves and your only means to stop it is to shout at them so they will pause in time for you to take them out of danger. These instances can actually result in lifelong mental trauma for the child. Even though we don't mean to traumatize our kids, they are sensitive and can pick up anxiety and depression at an early age, which is hard to get rid of. Children benefit from being challenged to their own ability, pushing them too far or too fast will harm them. So, it's why I say trauma happens growing up anyway, so let's not try to inflict more. And physical punishment is not something for anyone to get used to ever, it is a conditioning that no one needs.

maybe come respond to this topic when you can prove your methods work in the long term, your child is young, come respond when they are grown and well-adjusted until then all you have is a theory

uuhhh I have a 22 year old
I not only hollered at , put fear of God in
but paddled that well diapered behind
when he was toddler and took off running in parking lot at grocery store

funny how he has no recollection of this but yet he is still breathing

choose what is appropriate for that moment

Many parents have successfully practiced this theory already. I'm not the first parent to use a non violent technique.

most of the parents i know that have practices this technique, their daughters had drug issues and/or dropped out of high-school because they were pregnant by age 15, i actually remember one conversation with one such girl, 15 who said "i wish my mom cared enough to spank me" she let her do whatever she wanted, and that included letting boys into her bedroom at 13/14 and the consequences of that is well...she had multiple kids before age 19,

I'm not saying spanking is the ONLY option, i'm saying it may some times be the RIGHT option. as Msharmony said, it's about balance, either one can be taken to the extreme, but for my experiences personally the one i see taken to the extreme more often is the 'non-violent' option.

We agree there are other options. I'm not going to let my daughter do those things. Non violence does not mean non parenting, I sort of think it means only parenting without violence. Non parenting, non violent parents are neglectful, this is a form of abuse as well. I don't believe in abusing children willfully or not. You have to take into account society. My daughter will grow up in a society that doesn't do drugs, doesn't use women as sex toys and doesn't disrespect authority. So, the 15 year old girl you mentioned probably just saw what was going on around her in society and had permissive parents or they could do nothing about it anyway.

ty

children are not one size fits all, different approaches work for different kids,, as long as there is BALANCE, at the end of the day,, they turn out just fine,,,

it actually does work long term, but one wouldn't know if they never have spanked as part of a BALANCED parenting approach,,,,,

just saying

children are resilient,, occasionally raising ones voice is something that isnt going to traumatize them,, doing it CONSTANTLY will

also , teaching them UNPLEASANT consequences to their choices, when done with consistency and a BALANCE of other things they need like support, communication, guidance, and encouragement,, works LONGTERM to give them a sense of accountability for their choices and a trust that a parent means what they say and will do what they say they will do,,,,

At this time we feel this thread has run it's course and will be locked.


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