JUST FOR FUN. WANT TO TRY THIS AND SEE IF ITS WORKS. WILL ALWAYS UPDATE THE THREAD.
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Akpors’s wife was busy singing in the bedroom and having a nice time when Akpors interrupted her and the following conversation ensued: Akpors: You know my dear, when you sing like that I just wish you were on a radio. Wife: (smiling) wow honey. Am I that good? Akpors: No, at least on a radio I can change the station (We don’t know what exactly happened after he said that, all we know is that Akpors spent the next 2 weeks in the hospital with a big bandage around his head). One word for Akpors ?

Akpors’ young wife was taking an afternoon
nap on the day before valentines.
After she woke up, she told her husband
Akpors, “honey, I just had the most amazing
dream. I dreamed that you gave me a
diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day. What
do you think it means?”
Akpors looked at her sternly and replied:
“You’ll know tonight.”
That evening, Akpors came home with a
small package and gave it to his wife. She
could not contain her joy as she delightedly
thanked him and ripped the package
carefully, only to find a book titled “Strange
Dreams and their meanings.
Akpors is still in the hospital as at the time of
this report.
One word for Akpors this time around?

Are you akpors?

lolz im not

Don't give up your day job, ok? Cos your jokes are crap!!!

thanks dear..im done. Wish i can get it off

Dave,
The story line is good: 'Singing radio voice; dreaming diamond necklace' & response is also superb; 'change channels' & 'book on interpreting dreams'.
You should have let it end right there.

I think we sometimes stretch the story a bit more; I do & I know I shouldn't.
So do share few more on Mr. Akpor's and his lovely wife.
Cheers

Akpors’ father, an old farmer wrote a letter
to his son Akpors who was in prison.
The letter said: “Son this year I will not plant
cassava and yam because I can’t dig the
field, I know if you were here you would
have helped me”. I miss you so much, but I
am afraid that if I don’t get help, I will be in
trouble and risk starving next season”.
Akpors replied his father’s letter saying:
“Dad don’t even think of digging the field
because that’s were I buried the money I
stole”.
The Police men on reading the letter which
was supposed to be delivered, went early in
the morning to the house, dug the whole
field in search of the money but nothing
was found.
The next day Akpors wrote his father again:
“Dad you can now plant your cassava and
yam this is the best I can do from here.
Dad replied ” haaa my son you are too
powerful indeed ,even in prison you still
command police men to work for me,I was
so suprised to see the IG and team holding
hoes and shovels, digging my farm. I will
write to you when I want to harvest.

Akpors was on his way back from work one
day when he came across a mad man who
was standing on
3rd Mainland bridge and shouting “44! 44!!
44!!!”
The mad man seemed to be filled with so
much joy while he kept screaming ‘44’ and
soon enough a small crowd gathered to
watch him.
Trust some people to always be looking out
for a show, everyone watching wanted to
know what was going on.
Akpors turned to one of the onlookers who
had been there before him and asked “oga,
please what is this mad man shouting 44
for?”. “I don’t know oh” the man replied
“but I think it is best to leave him alone” he
added.
Inquisitive Akpors could not just keep calm
and soon enough he walked boldly towards
the mad man and said “bros no vex oh,
wetin 44 do you?”. As soon as he got close
to the madman, the madman quickly
grabbed him, threw him over the bridge
into the water and started screaming 45!
45!.45!
OmG!, you need to see how everybody
became Usain Bolt, running back into the
cars they came with and getting as far away
from the mad man as possible.

Little Akpors was attending his first
wedding with a whole lot of his family
members present.
After the service, his younger cousin, Ejiro,
asked him, “How many women can a man
marry?”
“Sixteen.” Akpors responded boldly.
Ejiro was amazed that he answered so
quickly and asked; “How do you know
that?”
“Easy,” Akpors replied, “all you have to do is
add it up, like the preacher said: ‘Four better,
four worse, four richer, four poorer’

The chronicles of Valentines


Behold it is written in the book of February,
chapter 14:
1…And it shall come to pass that on
Valentines day excuses shall arise; my
battery died, my credit got finished, my DP
refused to change, my boss selected me for
that trip, traffic jam, I got kidnapped, etc.
2…When thou seeth these signs, be calm,
fear not, keep thy peace and know that thou
art not thy boo’s boo. Thou art a side chick
or side man. Or thy boyfriend is the stingiest
person ever liveth!

Akpors wants to be President.

Akpors wants to be President oh; see his 8
points agenda:
1. I am going to make sure any guy or girl
who breaks each others heart will spend
20years in jail.
2. No man is entitled to more than one wife.
3. Any guy without 6 packs or any girl
without figure 8 will have to relocate to Iran
or Iraq for survival…
4. No work on Mondays
5. You must not have more than 2kids..
6. If U are married and ain’t
paying attention to your wife or
husband,you will be jailed until you change.
7. Every cheating man or woman must be
kept in a zoo for 2months.
8. No sex until U seek permission from your
local Govt chairman and it’s once per month.
Would you vote him or not?

Joke: Akpors deals with the magician


Akpors was a very poor man in one of the
worst conditions you can think of. He had
no wife, no child, no money, his house
leaked water whenever it rained, a blind
mother; in fact, he had nothing you could
write home about.
But one day he saw a magician who
promised to grant him only one wish.
Magician: Tell me one thing you wish. Just one! and I
will do it for you right now.
Akpors: Ok, no problem, I have only one
wish, I want my mother to see my wife
carrying two of my kids in my Hummer Jeep
parked near the swimming pool in one of
my many mansions situated in London city.
The magician fainted.
One word for Akpors this time?
a. Greedy
b. Great thinker
c. A fool
d. Perfect
e. Others. (Specify)

Akpos and frineds in the forest.

Akpors, emeka and ichie got lost and
stranded in a deserted forest.
For weeks, they lived there, hoping one day
help w would come and they would live that
awful forest. Since they had to struggle to
survive, there misery brought them closer
and soon they became even closer than they
were before. One day however, they found a
magic lamp.
Fascinated by its beauty, they rubbed it, and
sure enough, out popped genie; The genie
says; Since I can only give out 3 wishes, you
may each have one.
So Emeka goes first; I have been stuck here
for too long, I miss my family and my friends
and my life. I just want to go home. POOF, he
is gone.
Then Ichie makes his wish; I thought i was
going to die here. I am tired of this place o!
Oga please, me too, I want to go home. and
POOF, he is gone.
Then Akpors starts crying uncontrollably;
Eeya. ei, chai oooooo eeeee ahhhh! I am
missing them already.
The genie asks, What is the problem?
Akpors replied: I wish my friends were
here!!!!
If you were them, what would you do to
Akpors when the genie returns you to the
forest?

Akpors survived a fire accident.

WIFE: Darling why are you home this early
wearing such a long face?
AKPOS: Had a terrible day, i
lost all my colleagues today at work.
WIFE: Blood of Jesus! What
happened?
AKPORS: There was a fire outbreak down in
the tunnel and everybody died!
WIFE: What a pity! Darling I thank God for
keeping you alive. How did you make it out
my dear?
AKPOS: Darling, it was God's work. My
stomach was upsetting me so, I took a
break
to ease myself in the toilet.
WIFE: Darling, thank God you
are alive. What would have Happened to us?
I feel so much pity for their families. So bad,
how are they going to survive now?
AKPOS: My dear its a pity, but UNITED
NATIONS has decided to give the families of
the deceased $10million each.
WIFE: What?!!!!! Ten million
what? So because of your useless stomach
upset and the foolish
toilet and your refusal to die
with your colleagues.......make me miss that
money?? I beg if you don't want trouble, go
back and die with your colleagues.

Joke: Akpors the wonderful Student.

Akpors was in English class one day when the teacher decided to have an interactive quiz; the following conversation ensued: Teacher: make a sentence using the word “beans” John: “my sister cooked beans for supper last night.” Teacher: good-boy!! Kelvin: “i had soup with beans for breakfast & lunch.” Teacher: great Joseph: i love butter beans & baked beans.” Teacher: nice-one Akpors: “we are all human-beans”
you can guess what the teacher did.

Akpos wife was
going into a hotel with
her
boyfriend when she
saw Akpos
coming out of
that same hotel with
his girlfriend. On sighting
Akpos, akpos's wife
immediately said, "I've
catch you
today, useless man,
thank God I brought a
witness".
Akpos looked at her
then turned to his
girlfriend
and said, "Sister Mercy
you see what I told
you? If we
had left earlier as you
wanted we won't have
caught
her here"
WHO IS SMARTER???

A lady with big boobs entered a bus. She
had a rosary around her neck with the
cross between her boobs.
Akpos was sitting beside her and
couldn't help staring. The lady knowing
Akpos has been staring for over 15mins
then asked "Are you looking at Jesus
Christ who died on the cross?
Akpos replied: No! Am actually looking at
the two thieves beside him..