Yes, my methods didn't work out. I am seeing more and more how damaging it was for me to do what I did, but I can't change the past.

It's through Gods grace and mercy that I haven't lost my sanity entirely to the point where I am incapable of turning things around and utilizing the resources available to me to get me on a path to where I can function normally in society and be a productive member instead of a destructive member of society and a burden. For that I am grateful.

Of course, it wasn't my use that caused my mental disorders, it did magnify and intensify them though. That I do acknowledge.

Dare we ask, Totage...

What the heck were You taking or using?

(If This Isn't Too Personal)

You name it, I've probably tried at least once. My doc was heroin and other opiates. If I couldn't get heroin I would get oxycodone or any kind of opiate pain killer I could find. I also did crack/cocaine when I could on occassion. I have done meth and have cooked it as well. Of course used marijuana, which I stopped using because it started to give me anxiety attacks. It goes without saying that I also abused alcohol as well.

I'm pissed with the pharmaceutical industry for not being more adamant about Oxycodone only being for the terminally ill.

I am so sorry for You, Totage.

I'm certain You've got a long road ahead of Yourself.

The hard part is over, which was stopping the insanity. Now, is just the cleaning up part so to speak. It will be a life long process, but each day seems to get better and there's hope for a better future now.

In a way I'm glad I went through addiction, as it allows me to help those who are currently going through what I've been through. Same with my other issues.

Recently, I've been thinking about maybe going to school for social working and counseling, so that some day perhaps I could obtain a profession where I help others get through what I've been through myself.

Well Totage, I must say Your literary skills are very good.

Your grammar and punctuation are without reproach!

Really, what can't You do my friend?

Oh there's plenty I can't do. lol When you spend half your life taking extreme risks with little to know reward, you learn your limits eventually, but I have the love and support needed to get things done. I'm blessed with an abundant amount of resources in my life to help me stay focused on a happy and healthy life path.

I strongly believe that we are all put here on Earth together to help and look out for one another. I've always felt that way, and seeing how much love and care even complete strangers can give to one who is seemingly undeserving of it has reinforced that belief.

I have made it my life mission to help those I can in anyway that I can. I have even placed this at the forefront of my business, helping others to achieve their goals before making a profit.

Excellent !