so i've been thinking about this today, and whether or not to throw this out there, considering that as a general rule i tend to blog content that i find interesting and dychotomous... but then... as this is theoretically a friends first website, and a relationship website as a secondary function - though conversly, I will write it here...

I will post a profile from a different website, and then my editorial (which i sent as an email to the profile holder incidently) on said profile. A little background though... This woman is 34, quite attractive in that european runway model kind of way, though not kate moss thin. I'm dutch, so I'd have to say more blonde in the classical dutch/german sense.

Here is her profile:
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I am young at heart, and believe that life should always be lived in the present; now will never come again. Can you seize time, while maintaining perspective on the things that matter the most?

I am also unpretentious, but have an expectation of chivalry that sadly, seems to be sorely lacking these days. It seems I need to clarify that: I am not referring to holding doors open or picking up the check; I am referring to a man who can be honest in his intentions, because he truly respects all women and has self-respect. If you are dishonest, you dishonour yourself foremostly.

That being said, allow me to openly and honestly state my intentions: a long-term relationship with an equal is my ultimate goal. If it's not yours, move on please. I may be blond but I'll figure it out pretty fast. If it is, let's see what happens. Just a few stipulations:

-no pic, no response
-be free of relationships, past AND present (if you cheat, I will consider going out of my way to get you busted, because I would find that funny)
-you don't have children
-no 'playas', you know who you are (and yet you keep a-knockin')
-no one below 6 ft (I know, superficial, but I'm 5'10" with heels and you must be taller than me at all times)

...AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

-if you're 'looking for something hot', please check out the 'intimates' page, because I definitely don't have a profile there.

NOTE:
I have received a few unsolicited, hostile responses due to the above-mentioned. If you are so inclined, be aware that you are wasting your time, breath and credits, as well as proving my profile is doing exactly what it's intended to do. If you think I'm preachy, I sincerely do not care. I do not respond to hostility from insecure men...

How people treat you is their karma...how you react is yours. - Wayne Dyer

Best of Luck to you, and remember to always mind your manners.
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here is my editorial/email:
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chivalry isn't dead however the quality of women that are women is as sorely lacking as the quality of men in this day and age.

what is and isn't pretentious, or right or quality within and without is more than declarations of desires and expectations. it is a presentation of inward attributes and decisions outwardly towards another.

there is a line from "Meet Joe Black"
"I would take care of a woman, after all she takes care of me" to which the reply simply is, "you will not find that in this day and age in today's woman" which is quite as a matter of fact, distinctly the truth.

I have noticed a trend on Lavalife. Attractive women with expectations, demands, with nothing more to offer than a catologue of do's and don'ts. Yet, not an attribute among them of characteristics which show they are deserving of anything other than that which it is they are subjected.

Be what you desire, and what you desire will be.

You are obviously a very aesthetically attractive woman. However, I wonder if beyond that, the depth of your spirit, soul or character can match the quality of an aesthetic that will and must fade over time; which then will leave you with the remnant of your heart.

don't believe me? take a look around at your competition. Attractive women in their late 30's to mid 50's all claiming no different than what you yourself are claiming, yet, single. Is it because there is a lack of good men? Or is it perhaps a combination of the lack of quality within them which has been bred through this floundering generation of expecting and wantonness?

I am a man. I am chivalrous. I know that how I treat women is first and foremost a reflection of what I have been taught by women - namely those within my own family, and my own heritage. I come from a lineage of good and right women. I know the difference.

However, to be chivalrous also includes the ability to always speak the truth, even if it were to cost me my life.

You have been given the truth. Can you be woman enough of the same quality to humbly accept it in the same demeanor as to which you demand and declare your expectations?

Knowing what you want is only 1 side of the blade. The other side is knowing what you have to offer.

You have only shown one side of a double edged sword.

James
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actually i pulled the line from "Meet joe black" today, simply beacause I had never watched that film and it was recommended to me, and as it were, it appeared on the tv during my lunch break today (I work for myself from home). So of course I watched it.

It was the catalyst to thoughts I've had over the past week since joining this particular website and the amusing irony of most all online dating sites.

I have read most of the profiles online, both here and other locations - both men and women, and find an interestingly disturbing theme. How is it that so many people can be lonely yet, be so overwhelmingly narcissistic in their statements, and expectations... doesn't it occur to anyone that this kind of self absorbed arrogance doesn't serve their plight as they age, and less opportunities arise for both sexes?

I have been single as a conscious choice. I joined JustSayHi and within 5 hours met many wonderful individuals. I also met a few wingnuts who instantly hit the delete and iggy bucket, because i will not tolerate being subjected to another human beings issues. As I wouldn't subject them to mine. shrugs...

so...
although I realize that many of the comments which will occur to this particular discussion posting will be clanging and noisy pointlessness, I have to ask those whom are capable of disseminating the difference between an opinion being an asshole that cannot be plugged, toward an opinion that has depth and thought into it....
i of course will read all of them, since its always a good thing to know who is and isn't of value - in both genders.

Oh! on a side note. I'm not arrogant. I am just a little bit of a different animal. My profile is entirely a parody because well, I'm not lonely. I don't have any interest in explaining that, however, its just that some men and women are just not cut from the same slab as the masses.

I look forward to reading all comments and character asassinations that will occur :)
cheers!

holy cow batman! can this be more overanalyzed!!!

heh. cute.. actually that was just a fleeting thought for me :P if i were to overanalyze this, you'd be amazed at what I could come up with, and then not only would i have the process, but also the conclusion and the result.

i have a keen mind. this for me is equitable to what football would be to jock and a spoon full of sugar would be to mary poppins....

nothing at all, but what is done on weekends ;)

So what exactly do you think the qualities are in a woman that will make her 'deserving' of chivalry?

thats a good question actually. I've thought on that a bit, and i think that the only answer is those qualities which every woman has that goes toward requitted love.

hmmm, i have a concept which I liken to a rosebush and soil. where a woman is the rosebush and the soil is a man. though for those of you needing to exercise your angst isn't referential to a man being dirt. I've heard that one, and its drool.

however the premise is simple. a fully bloomed rosebush which springs forth new bulbs each season, cannot be torn from the soil, nor can soil be torn from the roots of the rosebush...

thus i would say that the chivalry of a man, towards the sustenance of the bush, is directly proportionate to the return of the nutrients that the rose bush gives to the soil through her roots.

a bush cannot have expectations and demands upon the soil beyond the soils ability to deliver the requirements to the bush.

i know thats not a really good answer, however, in the light of right action as a man, who claims to be chivalrous - as I do. I will choose wisdom rather than catologue towards expressing a good and right question properly.

in other words ya can't get blood from a rock so if you want blood don't pursue rocks.

So it kind of sounds like you're saying that a good woman won't ask to much of her man. Is that right?

uhh no...
i mean that you only get what you give.

sweetsings: that last post i made wasn't to you re: give what you get. that was to devilsmom.

what i'm saying more distinctly is that a man cannot give beyond that which he recieves. anymore than a woman can grow beyond the strength of a man by his core.

try it sometime. Try pulling a rosebush from its soil. you will not be able to do it. You will yank out the soil since the roots are wholly and completely interwoven with the soil to the point of the union being indivisible.

I agree with that. I think that it applies to all relationships. Sort of the golden rule of relationships.

I believe I understand most of what you were saying, though you are quite erudite in your presentation. Reminds me of a favorite poster from years ago. "I am more eruditer" than you :-) My college roommate had it posted in our dorm room.

You do seem to have a point in that people of both sexes on these sites do seem to post a laundry list of what they want versus a collection of things they have to offer. I have to wonder, though, if that isn't done in an effort (conciously or otherwise) to not seem too eager for love. While lately I am hearing many stories from men about how they were mistreated by a loved one, gentlemen are still taking advantage of the ladies in record numbers. Perhaps we are afraid to appear weak or as easy prey. That would be a shame, because I'm sure that many of us, for the right gentleman, would become kittens very willingly. Trust is a commodity that is very tough to come by these days.

Sadly, there seem to be many more people in the world today that will confuse, use and dispose of others than there are genuine, giving and honest ones.

(I'm going to go check my profile to make sure its not a laundry list of "wants") Chow for now ;-)

Finally i would have to say i agree with what you write my only problem is finding someone that thinks like that in female form,Be prepared you will definitely ruffle some feathers here,but anyway my hats off to you.The truth is the truth...

sounds like she is looking for a "perfect" man
hope she finds him

personally, i want someone to show up in an ACTUAL suit of armor. broadsword, white horse, the works.....oh yea, and they also have to be elvish.

emeraldisle: i think that the concept of "trust being earned" is absolutely the problem. Trust is innate. Distrust is learned.

Example: When we were infants. Our parents would hold us in our arms, we'd reach and claw and attempt to grab at distant things, and not once would it cross our minds that we could fall or that we would be dropped. As it had not occured for us to even remotely perceive if that instance or possibility.

then one day, we are dropped.

From that moment forward distrust is sowed as a seed. we are no longer sure if whom is holding us actually has a good grip of us, as we make sure that we have at least one limb gripping or wrapped around that which is supporting us.

when a person states that "trust must be earned" they are telling everyone else that they are entering the interaction without any trust whatsoever. No human being can defend against that. Niether man, nor woman. And the relationship is doomed before it is in motion.

thus, trust must be given willingly first. And trust will be demonstrated. A person who betrays trust, in either direction of a relationship, will do so again with someone else, as they have done prior to that instance to whomever came before. It isn't a reflection of the recipient. But rather of the offender. We are determined by what we do with what happens to us. Not by what happens to us.

elvish,
I wouldn't mind the King myself

heh...
did it ever occur to everyone that none of us are kings and queens yet each of us is actually perfect?

An artist doesn't paint and then when the painting is finished declare "go and find your way in the world"
a sculptor doesn't cut through the stone and then say, "prove yourself to me" upon completion.

thus, no man or woman, being born alive, can be anything less than completed in and of themselves. Just because some individuals can not sustain that self truth, doesn't mean its a lie.

i still want an elvish princess tho.

I don't think I'm perfect by any stretch of the imagination; I can just accept my imperfections and be content with myself.

i wonder if elves are bisexual... then again, i wonder if you can have a TS elf, since they both look feminine heh...