Hiya. So I been with this guy now for 3 and a half years. I really do love him so much otherwise I would never of stayed.
7 months into the relationship I found out he was married but half way through divorce. He decided not to tell me. Then 10 months into the relationship he told me he's got 2 kids with his ex wife.
He told me divorce takes time ect Then about a year n half ago n said it's done he's divorced but can't prove it to me? He's never brought me the papers. Never took me to see his kids, his family don't no about me just a couple of his cousins.
It stresses me out when he goes to see his kids Cuz he goes to his 'ex wife's' to get them ect Then I don't hear from him for 3-4 hours.
Has anyone else ever done this before or been in this situation?
I've done everything for this guy. I've even lost my uncles n Aunty respect n they don't talk to me anymore.
But we have just got a house together too, well about 4 months ago, but he hasn't stayed one night with me here? He will stay till 4 in the morning then go... He says it's because he lives with his uncle n they don't no about me...
It's just really upsetting me and making me depressed. We argue Cuz he says I don't trust him? Well open your friggin eyes, look at all you've done n he says past is past...
I don't no. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thankyou.
Megan.

you already know the answer to this. He's married and has kids. your house together is his " love nest". He did not get a divorce.

This guy is no good for a pretty lady like you he wants his cake and eats it as well get rid of him fast it sound like he is still married

Simple really....on his part sincerity & commitment is missing...you would do well to confront all issues that are troubling you....sooner you do it, better it would be for you, I suspect most of his excuses are untruths, it definitely will not be easy on you to learn the facts, perhaps at some subconscious level you know, but also fear the facts....Time is the greatest healer...!!!

Your profile says you are now looking for a woman for an intimate encounter and your partner wants to bring in a girl, is this something you both want or something he wants to happen.

What was that old expression, ' You've made your bed, now lie in it' , seems to come to mind.

You are allowing yourself to be played for the fool. You need to accept the relationship for what it really is (he is your back door man) or you need to move on with your life and find a real potential mate.

Firstly I commend your aunt and uncle. Then as far as you lover goes, I call BULLSPIT. You know this.

I could understand about your complicated relationship.
Firstly, pardon me, if maybe I write the wrong comment about this situation.
I think, he is still a married man, also Im not sure if he is in half way to divorce.
And maybe because of it, till this day, he is never show his divorce paper to you.
But I do really hope that you could find the best solution to solve this complicated matter, sooner than later. :)

Time to respect yourself, Megan...

Been there done that..he is lying to you..and probably still very much with his wife.
Jmo

op I am sorry your family lost respect for you ... but I am sure they don't understand how he may have lied to you ... seems you have slept through your relationship with him and have been blinded by your love for him ... have you followed him ...seems you have thought he wasn't divorced why not go see what his other life is about ... but I really don't believe you will do anything about it now ...since he has a house with you ... if the past is in the past he has not left his children in the past ... if he does not get you together soon with them ... then i would wonder more i believe he did not want anyone to know about you until much later ...so they can not come back and say he was having a affair all this time and thats why he wanted a divorce ...couple ways to look at it ... but if he lied to you ... you know he is lying to every one else ... and does not want to rush his children on you so they would not hate him for what he did to their mother ...depending how young ...
I would leave him alone put a silent time limit on him ...then if he does not come through for you... I would think about leaving ... or him ... he may just feel he is playing a role of a sugar daddy ... and has no respect for your feelings at all ...

Irreplaceable-Beyonce

He's still married and has no intention in getting a divorce. He is just using you and you could do better. Been there and kicked his azz to the curb and had never been happier.
I didn't know he was married until I bumped into him and his wife at walmart with their four kids.

I have a great guy now and have been with him almost 6 years.

and as a parting shot you can say: "Don't let the doorknob hit you where the Good Lord split you."

Megan, read the writing on the wall and ...