More women behave like that, than most people believe, or want to admit.

More women behave like that, than most people believe, or want to admit.


I still see the silent treatment just as a cooling off period. This article I read explains why people do it. Some of the highlights are that some see this a preferential alternative to shouting, or from behaviors more often seen as abusive. in the heat of a moment people say things that they may spend the rest of their lives wishing they could take back, but things can never be unsaid. I think if you are using the silent treatment just to cool off; I see no harm but if you are using it to control or punish the person; then its wrong. I remember my situation where I didn't want to talk and the guy kept pushing me to talk. I got so mad that told him I wish I never met him
and wished he would drop dead. I also said a whole lot of other hateful things that I never meant to say and never would have said that if he had just let me have my cooling off period. I felt awful that I said that and that is something I did regret saying but that is what happens when you push a person to talk when they are not ready. I know of couples married over 30 years and when having a real bad fight; one of them sleeps on the couch. I suspect because they are in their 60s; they aren't drama queens about the silent treatment like the younger people. As I said before; its better to be a bit silent rather than lashing out verbally or even physically. While some here may think giving the silent treatment is immature; I think provoking a person that is very upset is not only immature but a very dangerous game to play.

If they play that Game they are immature anyhow!! Need their big boy or big girl pants on!! Diaper days are over! But Who the Hell am I anyhow!! Do as you want but it won't happen around me i'm in (ADULT MODE!)

I still see the silent treatment just as a cooling off period. This article I read explains why people do it. Some of the highlights are that some see this a preferential alternative to shouting, or from behaviors more often seen as abusive. in the heat of a moment people say things that they may spend the rest of their lives wishing they could take back, but things can never be unsaid. I think if you are using the silent treatment just to cool off; I see no harm but if you are using it to control or punish the person; then its wrong. I remember my situation where I didn't want to talk and the guy kept pushing me to talk. I got so mad that told him I wish I never met him
and wished he would drop dead. I also said a whole lot of other hateful things that I never meant to say and never would have said that if he had just let me have my cooling off period. I felt awful that I said that and that is something I did regret saying but that is what happens when you push a person to talk when they are not ready. I know of couples married over 30 years and when having a real bad fight; one of them sleeps on the couch. I suspect because they are in their 60s; they aren't drama queens about the silent treatment like the younger people. As I said before; its better to be a bit silent rather than lashing out verbally or even physically. While some here may think giving the silent treatment is immature; I think provoking a person that is very upset is not only immature but a very dangerous game to play.

That makes a whole lot of sense and couldn't have been said any better,but I'd just like to add something more on the flip side, actually SOMETIMES,and in SOME,situations,it is actually better to talk about whatever it is there and then and kill it there,rather rather than walking around with extra"baggage",cause,so while you may regret some things you say or do,alot of things get resolved by communicating,lol ever noticed how some couples make up after a row or a fight? Lol so that works for some people,and some situations,I've seen it,happened to me couple times as well,so not taking away from what you said,just wanted to ad that!

There's cutting people out of your life who hurt you and then there is being an adult baby for attention. The latter is immature, the former is needed.

I guess it depends on how a person can handle the silent treatment as well. For instance; to a very over sensitive person; the silent treatment can be devastating and they will treat it like that; even ending the relationship. For me; I personally never let it bother me as I am not the over sensitive type and I realize the person needs to clear their head and the last thing I want to do is make them even madder at me. If a person is going to freak out over a few hours of silence; how would they handle a real crisis or emergency? The couples I mentioned do it but the next day or even in a few hours; they work things out. They don't see this as a reason for the relationship to fall apart. I think after 30 years of marriage; they know that you can't always resolve a problem right away and when emotions run high; you are better to back off.

me personally often open my mouth to change feet.I would rather choose to think before I speak I've been in one relationship where it was more about winning the case than solving fixing the issue or problem

Agreed.

This topic has been up there with the best! You have brought out a lot of very judgmental opinions from each person answering here that mostly would apply in their past situations. I liked going back through each and every one of them getting to know their true feelings in handling this situation or avoiding being in this situation! Reading each can tell a lot about the persons feelings or actions for anothers feelings in a relationship!! But the one everyone will use is their own opinion anyhow! As if that really worked in the past or we wouldn't be on a dating site! The best option to ever use is (your own),then there is only one to blame (Yourself)! And not blame others!! Best of luck to Everyone and Deserve what you get!! (KARMA)

Thanks graywolf55.I brought this topic so all of us would know what probably led to our being here as singles.I believe,apart from widows,widowers,& outright singles.most people are here because of how they handled this topic in their past relationships

Mine was a control situation, she thought her a-- was Gold so i figured if it was that good she should cash in elsewhere!! She fought the Court to keep me,even the Judge Disagree with her!!Anyone acting childish in a relationship (deserves) what they get. Anyone working at a relationship earns the others respect and devotion making the relationship work!!

After consideration of this topic it would take consideration and a loooooooong relationship with anyone that would want to be a partner the rest of my life (especially marriage) that a permanent relationship would happen in anyplace i decide to (start a new life)!! Peoples priorities are really messed up!! I hope you think of a new topic to start , this one really showed some (true colors)and how fast some turn around their opinion to be popular!! Good Work and quite Clever on your thinking!!

Okay; you say anything acting childish in a relationship deserves what they get. What do you say when people lie to each other in a relationship so they won't hurt the other's feelings. Don't you find that childish? Yet; people do it all the time. A woman won't tell a guy his isn't a good lover. How about when she says everything is fine and its not? How about a guy seeing his gal putting on weight but lying and saying no you haven't put on weight. People justify this and say its just a white lie and no harm done but it is also childish; yet this has become a way of life in relationships. How about a person who is calling you on your cell every hour to find out when you are coming home? How about a man who pouts because a woman does things for herself? How about doing something with someone then going behind their back and bitching to your friends that you hated what she/he made you do? How about jealousy as I find that very childish. This things are childish as well. There are lots of things I see in relationships that are very childish so it depends on the person how they perceive it. To me a few moments of silence from someone else is a hell of a lot less childish than some of the things I just mentioned.

If you read a book chapter by chapter from beginning to end, then that's a story! Then you find another book- same title,different Author and read that, Somewhere in that story something is changed so you go back and re-read both, can't find it? Too much information to decifer or untangle. Here there bits and pieces given by all on a subject we agree to disagree on but showing opinions by others of situation they have heard about or relationship they were in! No i never told someone they were Fat to give myself an ego blast.No i wouldn't tell them they were a poor lover, just hope and try better myself. No i won't cheat or lie for or in a relationship. And Hell no i'm not kissing ___ for anybodys friendship nor anything else!! The op said short time not forgetting or avoiding it all together! there is a cool down period, then there is Controlling altogether!! There is always another side to a story and only one showed by each member here!! Its up to everyone to do their best not to be in any situation they aren't going to give or receive in a relationship and this topic shows what most try to hide about themselves!! And i'm not pointing a finger at you by quoting you here or answering your questions ask of me!! Besides this Horse has already been rode hard and put away wet!!(Topic) I'm done!!

I am just responding to those that say the silent treatment is childish. Well; I just gave examples of what is also childish that seems to be the norm in a relationship and personally lying is the biggest most childish thing you can do; yet most do it anyway. I agree that control is wrong but it happens in most relationships regardless. For instance; how many have said "if you loved me; you would do this for me." That is control by guilt. hmm, sounds rather childish to me too. Who has the right to say what is childish and what isn't? I still say its all in how we perceive it and how we can handle it. Sorry; if I upset you but like anyone else I am just giving an opinion. We don't have to agree but I think like anyone else I have to right to voice my opinion. Have a great day.

No navygirl i'm not upset at all. People will do whatever they want anyway! Guess everyone needs to grow up to see Right from Wrong and figure it out themselves!! Whatever that's said logically will be used in an illogical manner anyhow! Duuuuuuh that don't make since to me!!! Old School is the best then((DAMN IT)) later!! Not arguing the point anymore! Sweet days!!

Thanks once again.There are educative,instructive and entertaining topics in mingle2,enjoy them as they come

sorry...

didn't see this!



CONCUR!

If you're in a relationship, you damn well know the difference between the silent treatment and backing off as a preventative measure...The silent treatment is a game of control, a test of wills...It just makes a bad situation worse...It's immature and beyond stoopid...Backing off to avoid saying something or doing something that can permanently damage the relationship is a sign of self control and genuine caring for the other person...