are you the Op??

and put it on the list?

You made me laugh again! Thanks!

I'm not so sure I want a simple woman. :-P

Are you? What's your point?

Yep; that is what I do too. I don't expect much from others; so I don't get disappointed.

There is a difference between expectations and judgements of others. You can be too judgmental. That's an ego thing.

Subject was self disappointment.

Lower self expectations just means to me you'll never amount to "nothing". How's that for judgmental?

One can only do the best they can.. If things don't work out. The best way to get by it is different for each person..

Some will let it eat them up to the point of depression. Many, it will not bother them at all, and the will hit the dating scene quick.. Then some will take the time, to do some deep thinking within. In order to be able to deal with what happened. Then you have those that give up completely, end up bitter always putting the other sex down. Or profess the things they will never do with another...

Myself I prefer taking time to reflect, deal with it, forgive and move on.....And give it a 100% on the next one...

Yeah; I see where you are coming from. For me my self-expectations are high as I didn't get where I am in life by not being that way. However; I have learned that disappointed comes if I think the other person has to meet my expectations. I can still feel self disappointment as I in my mind; I am the cause of why the relationship failed. So; after a while; I just stopped caring and went about my life solo. In the end; we need to do what is best for our emotional state. We each find our own way to deal with self disappointment.

I think that when we meet the one person who WE(both partners) can be happy with in every way, that we can not disappoint the other. Not saying there are never any disagreements in a relationship, but you can't beat yourself up for not "fitting together" if you're not a match (self disappointment). It will come. You have to be open to it. You can't completely close yourself off forever. It means being willing to be hurt and learning, yes, what you do want and don't.

Actually; I have closed myself off forever and now just put all my efforts into community and volunteer work. I find it very fulfilling actually.

I know you have.

I did too. For about 4 years.

Wow; that comes as a surprise that you have closed yourself off. I really don't know you but you didn't strike me as the type to do that; especially after reading some of your posts.

I'll message you. I should write a horror script about my last 18 yr marriage to a psychopath.

Whoops, can't message you. Filters you have prevent it.

Wow; so sorry to hear that. Yes by all means message me.

Ok, I may get flamed for this, but what the heck.

I have to disagree with those that maintain you should have high expectations. There is a world of difference between having goals and dreams, and expectations. We dream of our soul mate, we have very specific goals as to how we go about life and find our soul mate (being in Mingle2 is one, right?). But if you sit down and write everything you expect your soul mate to be, you will probably never meet that person. Love, and relationships, are a compromise. When you say you met your perfect match, is that really true? What do you mean by perfection? I'd submit to you that often (and maybe every) perfect match does not meet ALL your expectations.

Just sayin'

One thing I've started learning about recently is Tao. I'm still learning about it, but I think at least one wise thing it suggests it that you let go of your expectations but do set goals on achieving happiness.

I think the hardest thing for people to do (I include myself) is to let go of things that in the long term are not that important in your life's journey.

Btw, I consider not dating a serial murderer to be a goal, not an expectation.

I'll let ya know how it turns out with my soul mate.

I did write it all down.

You did? Poor guy, I feel for him lol.

Nah, you'll be ok, whatever you wrote on the list I'm sure you'll forget the first second you see him in person.

Wish you both the best Turkey Day!