I get after what I want. I am relentless. I am persistent. I pursue.

I am however, aware of people's space. I do not want to pester or make anyone uncomfortable. I am by no means desperate either.

It's a bit of a fine line, isn't it?

Lol sure is.....i had a thread similar,and some seem to think that I was in denial lol,but..know what ya mean broe!

Did you expect the same in return?

I am pretty laid back myself. When I was in relationships; I didn't get jealous, possesive, controling, or demanding which I which I thought a guy would love. Instead; the guy(s) took it as I didn't care about them. Seems you just can't win either way.

Yep. Guys need to relax and not get so upset over silly little things. I always believed if no one got hurt or killed; it can be fixed. Life is too short to be so uptight.

I was thinking more in the realm of the new. If I get a non response, slow response, or what seems like a cold shoulder....I move on.

Not if your communication skills are worth anything.
And really you are talking about multiple "fine lines."

I mean

The fine lines here are between you trying to clearly communicate what you want from them, what you expect from them (which can be different than what you want), and how demanding you are or where each thing falls in your hierarchy of importance.


The fine lines here are being "aware" of what you think is necessary space, and what people are communicating/miscommunicating is their actual space or necessary space. e.g. playing "hard to get" can lead to all sorts of conflicting ideas of necessary or desired "space" and cues to close or expand it.

There are fine lines between what you think they would be pestered by, what they are actually pestered by, how they are communicating they are being pestered, and your understanding of that feedback.


Other than that it doesn't matter if you say you are not desperate, or not interested, or interested, or whatever. If someone wants to judge you as something and they have what they believe are the cues or clues that label you as such, according to their experience or beliefs, then they are going to believe and act upon the idea of their judgment. It simply doesn't matter how you categorize or label yourself.


All you are saying here is "this is how I interpret their communication."

So was that the point of this thread?
Simply to billboard who you think you are?
Do you expect or demand that people agree with what you are doing?
That just because you say "I'm giving you your space" that they are only allowed to accept or see it as that? Not allowed to have their own viewpoint of your behavior?

Here's an example:

You can never win until you learn how other people actually see you, until you actually learn how to communicate with people, and learn how people, individuals, are actually communicating with you, rather than focusing on what you want them to think or believe.

Was this a Freudian...or a typo?

Did you mean "I go after what I want..." or did you truly mean to *say* "I get after what I want..."


"Go after" suggests a confidence and desire and the ability TO get it done...


"Get after" suggests a yapping little ankle biter who won't take "No" for an answer.

Well duh; communication is number one for me. Its the men that aren't communicating to me what is bothering them. I have no problem of speaking my mind. I just don't get upset over things like I mentioned. I have had a life time of dealing with hardships and death. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff that I mentioned above. People need to chill out.

When I am "GETTING AFTER" what I want by communicating as clear and concise as I can , and feel I'm not being communicated back with, I get gone. (Perhaps I should not assume that most people understand general colloquialisms however.)

I figured that was what you meant.

Getafterese....With an emphasis on an economy of words.

In English, the colloquialism "get after":

"to bother someone about doing something; to scold someone about something. 'I will get after Fred about his behavior.' 'Please don't get after me all the time.'

'get after somebody': to criticize what someone does; 'I get after my mother about what she eats because I really love her.' "


From McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. � 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.




Sorry...English is the one-and-only language I speak, so when I saw "get after", I immediately thought of the English colloquialism for the phrase.

I didn't realize "get after" means something else in your native tongue.






What IS your native language, anyway?

Is "Getafterese" what most people in Kansas speak, as opposed to English...hence the difference in colloquialisms in the two different languages?

:

I agree with you I am the same way.

Round here we welcome all types of communication skills...That's cause we're super smart and we're not bein graded!...I love BeachSpeak, it's way hot! ......Heya Beachy!

Oh yeah, I get after it too and if he's not interested I'm out...Nothing ventured, nothing gained....

What are you trying to say beach? You should know what you want and so should she. Quit tippy toeing around IT.

Yes, it's a fine line, that yapping...as I understood it to mean also.

Please don't take it the wrong way, but you always make it sound like all men are wrong, a-holes etc. and you always do / did the right thing. It's not a one way street... You have had your part in how things went just the same.
What you're conveying with your last posting is basically "Men NEED to do this, the SHOULD do that, they HAVE to feel/behave/respond/act this and that way or else .. "
A lot of women subconsciously attract the wrong men for them - not per say a really bad guy, just not the right one for them - so they can hold on to their own garbage, complain and point fingers. They attract men that confirm their convictions, so they themselves don't have to change --> Ppl in general subconsciously fear change.

How can you find love if you don't open up, work on yourself, and allow a guy some space to be him?

Goes for men who do this to women just the same of course...