Okay, put the champagne and bunting away, I'm not in a relationship, lol.
But there's this thing that keeps bugging me. Let's say you'd find a partner again and - eventually - move in together. Most have been single for some time, so we've learnt to do things that our exes used to do.

So how do you deal with the new situation when it comes to chores? Would you automatically start doing the so called 'men things' like fixing a fence, oil a squeaky door, fix a blocked drain, car maintenance of your woman, put out the garbage etc. etc. etc.
Or would you expect her to keep doing these things herself, unless she asks for your help?
And vice versa of course.
As a woman, would you expect your new man to start doing these things?
And as a man, would you expect your woman to do the so called 'woman things', meaning i.e. you'd never cook anymore, help cleaning etc.

Sometimes it's just weird how we can have these routines in our head --> The other day I had a blocked drain. And I found myself wishing I had a man so he could fix it. Yes I know, horrible, pathetic, cos I can easily do that myself. It doesn't require strength, it's just a gross and smelly job.

Anyways, how do you divide all these chores that we usually automatically did in the past with our first partner, and learnt to deal with ourselves because we were single.
Do you just wait and see how it goes? Do you discuss it? If so, when?

I can't decide which of these posts I like best, the first one or the second one!

Hey Studley Sunshine Muffin!!

Crystal you raise some interesting questions. Initially you are talking mainly about gender roles. Is there such a thing as women's work and men's work? That is both a cultural question and a biological question. Nature versus nurture. I think both are powerful influences. Underneath the expectations that society puts on both men and women there are biological urges that have evolved over millennia. Next there is the issue of how people change during the course of a relationship. It can be very subtle. They may start out young compatible but mature at different rates and in different directions. It's like the frog in a pan of water that is heated slowly. It may not notice the pain until it's cooked. Then there is the part about what happens between relationships. You adapt and do what needs to be done. But what happens when a new relationship comes along? The responsibilities need to be divided again so that both people feel useful. Hopefully they are mature and self aware enough to negotiate compromise. It can't all be worked out ahead of time. I believe relationships are like art. It's a result of the interaction over time. You don't know exactly where it is going to go but if you pay attention to the effect of small changes you are likely to be happier with the results.

Thank you Greg, I like that posting :) And yes, you cannot work it all out in one go or ahead of time.
I love what you said: "... what both partners need to feel useful". That is a bluddy good one!! Easy to forget that that has a big part in it all. Thank you for that reminder!

I do think it's important to discuss these things, so not just wait and see. That way you know whether you're both on the same track and not have expectations that the other can't or won't (automatically) 'fulfill'.
I guess another very good reason to not move in together too soon..

And first off, you'll have to know what your own expectations of a partner are, cos we often base those on the parent of the other sex, on what a previous partner used to do or the hurt a previous partner caused us.
So basically you gotta strip those expectations down to the bone, maybe try to chuck them in the bin altogether, so a new partner stands at least half a chance.

Maybe the core question is: What do you need to feel useful, loved and cared for?
Wow .. think about going into a relationship with that thought and question as opposed to "I ain't gonna do all that for you!!"

Dang, I knew good things could come from this thread.
Some may get deleted, but I got a good memory, haha.

Ohhhh... I love it when they want to do things for me.....and to me....

Well, now your getting it. I was going to post a link just for you of an orgasmic woman just moaning and you could keep it on loop.

Respect and appreciation. Pretty simple. Sometimes the other wants to do things for you.

Yes, indeed. But I think lots of women (dunno about men, sorry) have been brainwashed by society to be able to cope with just about everything themselves. Meaning that if their man offers to do something, we automatically reject it, by which we hurt the man.
Even with simple things, example from Mattey Hussey: When you're out for a walk and a guy offers you his jacket, accept.the.friggin.jacket!! Even if you're not cold, accept the jacket!!
Thing is that we easier do these things for one another, and accept them as well, when we are still in love, getting to know each other. Once we're in a relationship, these things tend to stop?
Another good thing I read somewhere, and never forgot; Every day when you get up, realize that you make the choice to stay with your partner, and he/she with you.
A relationship isn't automatically infinite. Each day you make a choice, as does your partner. If you can be aware of this, you won't easily get in a rut, but respect each other and realize that you aren't each other's 'property', just because you are in a relationship.
So you stay in touch with mutual respect and appreciation.

Well, now your getting it. I was going to post a link just for you of an orgasmic woman just moaning and you could keep it on loop.

When Harry met Sally?

Thanks for the flowers Leigh my heat and drool is and has been reserved for you for a while.
I want to be a sexual dominant non chauvinist.
I will run through the scenerio I mentioned;
Your doing dishes and I slowly press up behind you ever so gently and between running my lips up and down your neck and sucking your earlobe and you say "what are you doing " and I say "helping" and you say "you are, are ya" with a big smile on your face then I switch to an aggressive gear and then..... .... ... and here's the non chauvinist part; I clean up the broken glass latter. Ok deal? People say roles should be discussed before hand?

First post, tape measure scenario:
I press you against the sink counter and you say "OW DONT! You're preasing the tape measure into me. and I say "then take it off then"! and you say "No! why dont you get in front"!

Forgedda bout the first two, I like this one the best!

You didn't like the first one because you have a dishwasher a guess
Ok ..you go check the clothes and they're not done, the washer is just beginning the spin cycle the floor is unever from settlement over the year and the clothes are unbalanced in the machine and I come behind you...and notice you have a stacker
ok its scenario one we are roll playing and your doing dishes...ok does that work

Every time I watch this I

http://youtu.be/b0OeM6UUAoI