Is there a difference between: feeling possessive to feeling jealous over someone?

One is about insecurity and one is about control.

Wanting to feel control over a situation/person goes hand in hand with wanting to NOT feel insecure. They are always intertwined in some form.

Possessiveness & jealously are telling you something about how YOU feel about yourself in relation to the other person...not so much about how the OTHER person feels about you.

Jealousy is a feeling, its about a persons own security..possessive on the other hand is acting, ahhmm.sounds like you dont want to share what you feel is yours.. confusing, but thats what I understand..hope it help..

I agree with this.

neither is healthy for a positive relationship

Insecurity is literally the sensation of lacking control. Six of one and half dozen of the other described like this.

The root of both possessive and jealous behaviour is an inability to self govern, but they do depart by nomenclature in form.
To be possessive you must objectify your partner (they literally become a possession, not unlike accessorising with a handbag). To act jealously of a partner's other relationships you must be subjective to the point of pretentious (where your feelings are more important than other people's feelings).
You can be both at the same time, in which case there is little difference.

But you can also be one and not the other. People with little empathy can be jealous without being possessive and simply characterised as very emotional, perhaps a little neurotic, eg. "Why am I not enough for you to have relationships with the girls at work?"

Or you could be possessive without feeling at all jealous, other relationships are irrelevent so long as yours is the most important one, more important than your partner's own well being in fact, eg. "You finished work two hours ago and it's an hour drive, where have you been for the other hour?"

To add,

I do realize one looks like "controlling behaviour", it isn't but it looks like it to experience.
And the other looks like insecurity in your partner to experience, again it isn't but it looks like it.

They won't understand your problem solving efforts if you approach one like controlling behaviour and the other like insecurity, because those aren't what they are from their point of view and that's the secret to problem solving.

One is very caught up in their emotions, a very long way from being even slightly insecure about it.
The other is so entirely dismissive of your humanity the very suggestion they actually want to control you is laughable to them.

One is just all up in their head, the other really doesn't care what you think and honestly can't help not caring about it.
Striking at those foundations, that's where you problem solve it.

And worst of luck, people can be both towards you at the same time.

If neither are healthy in a relationship, then what happens when we fall in love?

Sure. She can be "possessed" during our love making sessions. And she can jealous of my abilities during said love making sessions.

But DUDE, is she possessable? Cuz when a man gets past that, look out.

But what if he likes playing with fire?

He'll get burned goodly, so says my avatar icon.

Neither have anything to do with love.

I think it is natural, when someone is in a relationship then naturally such feelings avail over him/her.

But those feelings are about self not the relationship or love.

well if you ask Google, there is no difference.

pos�ses�sive


adjective: possessive

1.
demanding someone's total attention and love.
"as soon as she'd been out with a guy a few times, he'd get possessive"
synonyms: proprietorial, overprotective, controlling, dominating, jealous, clingy
"he was very possessive"
showing a desire to own things and an unwillingness to share what one already owns.
"young children are proud and possessive of their own property"
synonyms: covetous, selfish, unwilling to share; More
grasping, greedy, acquisitive, grabby
"kids are possessive of their own property"
2.
Grammar
relating to or denoting the case of nouns and pronouns expressing possession.

noun
Grammar
noun: possessive; plural noun: possessives

1.
a possessive word or form.