Dog with one eye


Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Why?"





The perfect woman!


A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air." Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her HOUSE, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins Undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed." You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies.... "You just happened to catch my eye."

I halve a spelling checker

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong.
I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.


A man goes to the eye doctor

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."

hahahahahaha

What did one of the monster's eyes say to the other?
Between us is something that smells.
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The police are looking for a thief with one eye
Why don't they use two?
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Did you hear the one about the optician who fell into the lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself.

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Sol had lived a long life, which was drawing to its end. As his family surrounded him on his deathbed, he asked to see his optometrist.

"Optometrist?" they asked. "Why in the world do you want to see your optometrist?"

"Just get him for me."

So they go get Dr. Kaplan, who, on seeing Sol about to depart this life, asked, "Sol, it pains me to see you like this. What can I possibly do for you?"

Sol opened his eyes slightly and said, "Doc, before I go, there's one thing I have to know. Which one was clearer - A or B?"

Now that there's some funny stuff.

Hilarious!!!