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| Topic: Relationships Take Work | |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Tue 08/19/14 09:47 PM
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Why? I've always wondered this...
I think this sums it up best: "Sometimes the most loving thing for yourself does not benefit or feel particularly loving to your significant other. Sometimes choosing yourself means choosing to leave. Sometimes things are not even or fair or as amazing as you thought they would be. Sometimes you will love and give and everything will be fine, but it will still be broken, and you will have to summon up enough courage to deal with all of this and more with grace and kindness, despite wanting to be anything but graceful and kind." Just saying I go to work to work. There comes a point where one must draw a line in the sand when two people are extremely different. |
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Why? I've always wondered this... I think this sums it up best: "Sometimes the most loving thing for yourself does not benefit or feel particularly loving to your significant other. Sometimes choosing yourself means choosing to leave. Sometimes things aren’t even or fair or as amazing as you thought they would be. Sometimes you will love and give and everything will be fine, but it will still be broken, and you’ll have to summon up enough courage to deal with all of this and more with grace and kindness, despite wanting to be anything but graceful and kind." Just saying I go to work to work. There comes a point where one must draw a line in the sand when two people are extremely different. <shrug> if you are not happy then leave , and yes you have to work cause you cant live off love alone , i tryed it , tummy makes way to much noise : ( |
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.. I don't buy into this..
if you're not happy thing.. A lot of people are not happy with their jobs.. but they stick with it.. . relationships are work... everyday. .. sure some days are easier than others... but it still takes effort.. . effort to say.. good morning I love you.. even know all you can think about is getting your coffee... .. it takes effort... you get home before her... you start making supper. . it says I'm putting effort in... I am working on.this.. . you go out in the winter time and brush the snow off of her car... . not because you want to.. . but because you need to... .. it says I'm working on this.. .. she does your laundry.. not because she wants to... but because she needs to.. it says I'm working on this.... ... you do the things you need to do. not because it makes you happy.. . because it's the work that you have to put it to a relationship.... .. it's a ship... it needs to be worked on constantly.. in order to stay afloat.. ..ok..  
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Edited by
Queene123
on
Tue 08/19/14 10:06 PM
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in any relationship
or marriage does take work for example my dads parents were married 63yrs before he pass on my grandmother pass away a few yrs ago shortly before her 95th birthday they had 10kids and the youngest were twin boys my grandfather would take all the kids fishing my one aunt dont recall how old she was but she caught her first fish by using a string and a bobby pin my moms parents were married for 45yrs 16plus 5 step kids around her own age and the youngest were twin boys so yes relationships/marrige can work you just have to work everything out instead of feeling you have to stress |
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in any relationship or marriage does take work for example my dads parents were married 63yrs before he pass on my grandmother pass away a few yrs ago shortly before her 95th birthday they had 10kids and the youngest were twin boys my grandfather would take all the kids fishing my one aunt dont recall how old she was but she caught her first fish by using a string and a bobby pin my moms parents were married for 45yrs 16plus 5 step kids around her own age and the youngest were twin boys so yes relationships/marrige can work you just have to work everything out instead of feeling you have to stress I don't believe this is an option for you. Every relationship is different and one ages quicker in a stressful environment. Family does stick together because they want to, relationships between a man and a woman are sometimes demolishing of strong bonds. Two people have to want to be together and prove this with everything int heir lives. I support that there is compromise involved but it's what life throws at you, those trials. How you make it out and who is by your side. How you deal with emotions, not everyone makes it through the storm. |
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PHD, I love the way you phrased that! Very true ... Taking responsibility and doing things for each other because you care.
I think it needs work because we get caught up in the routine of work, chores etc. and being together simply becomes the new normal. I think most settle in, get snug and think they can now put their feet up. Illustrated by some ppl thinking that a relationship means that excitement in life is over. Someone, I think Rory Raye, wrote that in a relationship you basically should think and decide each morning that you want to be and stay with your partner, because you love him/her. It's not a given that you are with that person, it's a gift. Each day either one can decide it's over. So isn't it wonderful that you get to be together? Each and every day again? That he/ she also chooses to be with you? But we don't think that way, we tend to think that because we're committed, we are safe and secure, that it will last forever and we needn't do anything special anymore. If we wouldn't take it for granted, but be happy and grateful to be with our partner each and every day, relationships probably would require less 'work'. |
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Edited by
LUNG1954
on
Wed 08/20/14 11:47 PM
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A friend that you have a good relationship with is someone who is always there for you no matter what. A friend is someone who you can trust to tell anything to. A friend, most importantly, is someone who tells you the truth especially when you don't want to hear it. They tell it to you even though it may hurt, because they care about you. That is what defines a real, true friend. One needs to work on friendship continuously in order to keep it viable.
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Edited by
dreamerana
on
Thu 08/21/14 01:00 AM
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.. I don't buy into this.. if you're not happy thing.. A lot of people are not happy with their jobs.. but they stick with it.. . relationships are work... everyday. .. sure some days are easier than others... but it still takes effort.. . effort to say.. good morning I love you.. even know all you can think about is getting your coffee... .. it takes effort... you get home before her... you start making supper. . it says I'm putting effort in... I am working on.this.. . you go out in the winter time and brush the snow off of her car... . not because you want to.. . but because you need to... .. it says I'm working on this.. .. she does your laundry.. not because she wants to... but because she needs to.. it says I'm working on this.... ... you do the things you need to do. not because it makes you happy.. . because it's the work that you have to put it to a relationship.... .. it's a ship... it needs to be worked on constantly.. in order to stay afloat.. ..ok..
. this ^^^^^^^ is great and it's the truth. relationships do take work and communication. if more people would both put in the effort, there might be a higher success rate and more happy ever afters. on the flip side, there are relationships that turn destructive. somebody else, because of their flaws tears you apart bit by bit. sometimes through physical abuse. or more effectively by destroying your sense of self. a person doesn't ever have to lift a hand to you to rip your spirit to shreds. until some part in that last dying bit of your self worth whispers in your head, I gotta love myself more than this. and from somewhere inside you find the strength to love yourself enough to walk away. to hurt. to heal. to learn to live again. to dream of a love that's real. |
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down.
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down. Men always need a good reason to care. Isn't a woman's attention and devotion enough of one? |
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Some women are just too much like hard work. They can go into mother mode and then you find yourself with a nagging, controlling *** that's never satisfied and doesn't make you feel very good about yourself. I dare say that from their point of view they are the ones putting the work in when they do that.
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The most fulfilling relationships for me are the ones that involve a lot of moments akin to skipping work, not sitting in stasis under energy-efficient halogen dampers or in some halcyon daze.
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when is happens like that then you must see that is not supposed to materialise from the initial stages.
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down. Men always need a good reason to care. Isn't a woman's attention and devotion enough of one? Thank you for speaking for all of us. |
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down. Men always need a good reason to care. Isn't a woman's attention and devotion enough of one? Thank you for speaking for all of us. What isn't true about that? |
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Look....read my job description. It says in there "does not have to be a mind reader".
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down. Men always need a good reason to care. Isn't a woman's attention and devotion enough of one? Thank you for speaking for all of us. What isn't true about that? I was being a turd. 
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like every thing else worthwhile
always remember TANSTAFL there ain't no such thaing as a free lunch the work you put into a relationship is the price of lunch that being said, good relationships shouldn't require hard work |
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I agree with the quote. Relationship take work from both sides. I am in one right now where the balance has shifted. I have always put the effort in because I care, to say good morning and goodnight to tell them how much I care, little surprises of things he's talked about that show I listen and I like to do it. But to be honest I don't get much of that, a lot of lip service. It is stressful because it isn't being returned at all. You need both people to work or it does bring the other person down. Men always need a good reason to care. Isn't a woman's attention and devotion enough of one? Thank you for speaking for all of us. What isn't true about that? I was being a turd.
 Samzees.
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Look....read my job description. It says in there "does not have to be a mind reader".
http://youtu.be/Lli9ABUFZCU |
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