http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/why-chivalry-is-dead-from-a-mans-perspective/

agree or not agree?

good topic

I do believe the 'hook up' culture kind of diminishes the culture of 'chivalry' to being unnecessary.

I also believe that people learn from example and we do have fewer young people raised in homes and environments where women are cherished.


I also believe its hard for some to justify cherishing and seeing as equal. I believe alot of the 'feminism' that insists everything be the same for both genders, causes chivalry to be seen as discriminatory and condescending by many.

Its a matter of finding partners with similar values. It always has been.

Yeah true. I think it's be said that how you were raised shapes how you treat people, more specifically women.

The money came from the comments when women started attacking the writer for being sexist. Eh, I didn't see him take any broad sides when it came to the topic. I think he was just opening the discussion.

I firmly believe that if people don't demand respect, they sure as chit aren't getting any.

Chivalry is dead, because most people don't even understand
in historical context, what chivalry was.

Chivalry, was a very violent and deadly era, based on Chivalric Code,
in the name of God and Country.

The era of Cavaliers, is the time period that authors, poets, and people in general, get things confused.

Study the history.

Courtesy is also in the definition.

diss agree

i still do this...
All I know is, the more I look around, the less I see men treating women the way that we’re raised to. What happened to paying for dinners and drinks? What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors? What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that ****?

when i can that is , some lady's want to pay there own way (50/50 split till later in the relationship)and trying to open automatic door open for some one (makes me look more of a clown then i all ready am) <shrug> but that is the way i was raised

send me a text or a email like this and you are likely to get no answer or stuck on ignore all together .....
When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang?

its more like 75 to 85 % i had thought...
relationships and marriages failing at a 50 percent clip.

now this part i have noticed
We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers

i all so diss agree with this
putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway – sex

sex is fun don't get me wrong but its not up the high list of what i look for in a lady
To me there is so much more to a lady then her female parts
but i do agree with a lot of what he said in there seams like a lot of the ladys i run in to. They are just looking for a hook up too take care of there horneyness and off to the next

i am really thinking i was born in the wrong era <shrug>
Still on the Hunt : )

good post
Thanks

I like your style

Based on the title about chivalry?
To me that is like asking "dinosaurs are dead, agree or disagree?"

There are still dinosaurs.
They've just evolved and adapted to the environment.

IMO/IME what so many people do is try to minimize behavior into absolutes. Labels they can use to shortcut and easily identify how the world works, and how to perceive and understand expectations.
Like "I want to be liked. To be liked I must be good. Opening the door for a woman = chivalry. If I open her door/if he opens my door, then that is 'good.' I live up to being good. I deserve to be seen and judged as chivalrous."
It's far more complex than that.
There is far more to "chivalry" than simplistic behavioral observations.

I think chivalry is far more complex a set of expectations and understanding of roles. I don't think it's a set of rules and behaviors and expectations that are universally defined because of homogenous cultural interaction amongst a small community.

I think the article you linked to is just one guys justification and rationalizing for his own poor behavior towards dating.

If he declares chivalry to be dead, then he doesn't have to try to live up to what he thinks it is, he doesn't have to work, he doesn't have to change, he doesn't have to think, he doesn't have to value what his family taught him only his own short term gratification.

IOW the article pretty much boils down to "but, but, moooooom! No one else does it like that, so you must be wrong! What you want is stupid! I don't wanna!"

The only half decent question in the article is:

And anyone above the age of 4 who had parents that used rewards and incentives to get their kids to do anything should know the answer.

Something is only the "norm" through consistent reinforcement.
If behavior loses meaning, if specific behavior stops receiving the recognized reward, the behavior will change in order to to reacquire the reward. Sometimes instead of a reward people seek a lessening of uncertainty, a lessening of risk and insecurity.
Sometimes a lesser reward is enough if the "cost" or efficiency of acquiring the other reward is seen as too much effort.

Communities are less homogenous, people move around, people specialize in their communication (accountants, waiters, ceo's, insurance salesman, appraisers, physicists, all have their own language), there is far more cross cultural migration, roles are individualized rather than polarized.

Which means standardized behavior does not achieve the same reward, or expected response, thereby requiring a greater repertoire of communicative behavior to try and figure out what the other person is picking up.

That's why people stray away from a "norm."
Not to mention a "norm" is pretty much a socialized indoctrination.
Anymore, people wish to be "an army of one," or free to "express themselves," or, "I am me, you have to accept me."
Which means this culture inherently opposes conforming to norms to chase individuality.

OUCH! Sardonic much Mariah? lol And I did not do it!

But chivalry had a time and place. Maybe, like many things, it will come back in a modified way at a later point?

I believe also the era of what was called chivalry, was also an era where males being gentlemen AND females being ladies was seen as preferred and ideal.

We lost alot of that culture that put any preference on acting like a 'lady', and so we lost alot of what the ladies would call 'gentlemen'

I blame fem....hey!

I have learned its never enough for girls,,,you can never do enough for them,,,,,so why bother trying by paying for there meals,,,they walk to fast to hold the door for, they want babies an cant even cook wont clean an a lot don't even have drivers license these days

if you tell a girl these days to act like a lady, they gona go to a hotel an make some money, or get 15 guy friends, get pregnant by 5 different guys

really? what type of gals do you hang around?

Sound a bit bitter...not all women are the same, and it stinks you seem to have had poor experiences. However, I find that where men go looking for women also determines the type of woman he will find! Decent women don't usually go trolling in bars, clubs, and the like to find a decent man.

I believe it hits the nail closer on the head to say Decency is Dead as opposed to chivalry...its a two-way street. As others have stated, if a woman isn't a "lady" who treats men as "gentlemen" she reaps what she sows, and vice-versa.

I call it old fashioned honor, respect and being of service.

In my house, I teach and taught all my kids that.

I won't just hold the door for a woman. If a man has a load, frail or looks like he walks faster than me, I will hold the door.

I tell all the women I get with to never touch a door to enter or exit a building. Wait and I will open it. They don't want to, fine. I made the offer.

Women and men will treat and be treated in any manner they allow themselves to be treated.

Woman with 15 kids and (so she claims) only 3 baby daddies will be treated as such. That is her choice.


Woman Has 15 Kids By 3 Different Guys Says Somebody Is Going To Pay For Her Kids



Men who are -whipped will be treated that way. They choose it.



Life is all about choices.

Yeah pretty much.

I've learned time and time again I was told to ignore my extincts and stop reading into things. Well when it comes to how people treat you, I'm not gonna turn it off so you can continue to treat people like dog chit.