Thanks for letting me join the Mingle family (at least until you read some of my stories, then you may want to boot me out).

Some time life gets a little hectic so I like to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) as a little stress relief.

Nobody is forcing you to read these, but I hope to just make someone smile at least once.

Hopefully I do not get smacked by the censors. I’ve always had a hard time finding that fine line between PG-13 and R.

None of you have ever heard of Nate Bassi before. But that's OK. My wife never heard of me before we met.

Now she's seen me naked.

I swear to God, this'll be far less revolting. Swear to God.

You see, from time to time, I'm going to be sharing my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams and my aspirations with you.

And that's just the thoughts from the past 5 minutes.

Before I got started, though, I thought now might be a good time to set the ground rules for my stories. So here's the deal:

I'm going to be writing about a lot of different things. I'm also not going to be writing about a lot of different things.

I'm not going to be writing about cuddling, gardening, ballet, stationery, skin cleansers, decaf coffee, the color pink, wedding planners, rhythm gymnastics, Women's World Cup soccer, baby showers, Chicken Soup for the Whatever, streusel recipes, really good shower cleaners, veggie burgers and how much I love The Lifetime Channel.

I'm not going to be writing a story while I'm sipping piña coladas and taking walks in the rain, while she's having my baby, while the wind is beneath my wings, and while I'm torn between two lovers. Even though you don't bring me flowers. Anymore.

I will not write a story titled:

"This Week's Top New Age CD Releases."

"The Hottest Debate in the NBA: Shorts or Culottes?"

"Ten Things to Look Out For at the Opera House."

"The Absolute Best Way to Change a Diaper."

"The Lost Art of Sipping Tea."

I will not write anything making reference to sexual positions such as the Kama Sutra, the Tantra, Zenno JoJido, Saundanese Arab, Jelq, Super Jelq, Modified Spooning, the Eighth Position of the Perfumed Garden, and the Kneeling Pretzel. Because I have no friggin' idea what they are.

The following people will not appear in anything I write: Martha Stewart, Rosie O'Donnell, Billie Jean King, Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli, Bea Arthur, Yanni, Richard Simmons, Mr. Brady, the old lady who lives down the street from me with the really loud dog, that fat model on MTV, the guy who plays the pan flute and Mrs. Howell.

Other than that, everything is fair game. So let's get started, shall we?

Welcome, can't imagine what you have for us to read but time will tell.

nate,

I, for one, will 'not' be reading your work here in Mingle2. I've read your diatribe and find it unworthy to say the very least. Far, far too many parameters. Far, far too much overplay. You seem to spend a lot of time noting the things you ' don't ' like, or wish to address without first realizing those things, (topics,) are really quite common in here. No, quite respectfully, I'm not pleased at all with where your coming from in life. And perhaps ye should find another forum in which to so uncomfortably dwell.

I wish you luck and Godspeed within these tender walls, nate. You're gonna definitely need them here, pal.

Later,

tommy boy moran / Ireland

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