This is all I have.
Hope it helps.

here's the problem..
you're in a committed relationship.
it ends . but in the course of that relationship. you have met each others friends.. and let's say hypothetically.. and I'm saying hypothetically just for blondey.lol.
Ok. you hit it off with one of their friends.. I mean you really connect.
on all levels.. whenever you see them.
you think to yourself..
Wow. they have the look i like!
they have the personality I like!
we make each other laugh!
. they are just a step above the person you're in a relationship with..
. but you let it go at that..
now my problem is!!!
. the relationship is over.
you run into their friend again.
. they feel bad about the breakup.
. but then they want to know if you would like to have coffee with them.!!.
. And you know what I mean.
they obviously would like to get to know you better.. date you..
. you see I'm a little on the fence about this... I like them alot..
. but I have respect for the relationship they have with my ex.
. but at the same time I like them alot.
I know it would be good...BUT..hmm
. do you know what I mean..?.
sincerely conflicted..

If I were in your shoes, I would go for her if the following two conditions are met:

1. The reason for the breakup isn't remotely related to my new connection with them, and my ex knows it.
2. Me and my ex have completely sealed up all the emotional issues.

it is hard for me to quote off of my phone..so.. I will just a dress you this way.pancho.. thank you I understand.
but no it doesn't help.. it is part of the problem. I do not wish to wait.
but this is delicate.. but thank you.
I appreciate the sentiment..
.ok..carteblanc.. no they're not related
. meaning the breakup had nothing to do with one are the other.
. and I have not discussed this with my ex.. it is a new development.
.. and that is part of the problem.. I don't want to approach my ex with this... until I get all the facts... that's my issue this can go off in so many directions...hmm.. but thank you for your input.
. and any future advice you may offer..

Klc.. I hear you.. I'm not sure what you mean by if I'm not involved with her friend anymore?...
but that brings up a whole new issue.
I can't go through life not talking about my relationship with my ex..
and another issue.. it's the two of them talking together.. that scares me..lmao.. but thank you for your advice.. I know this shouldn't be complicated should it.. but when I really think about it.. and the more I think about it.. the more complicated it becomes... but like I said I really like her...hmm

and this is the problem.. if we did not get along so well.. and always hit it off together.. this would be easy.
I would tell her thanks but no thanks you're my ex's friend..
but it's one of those people that you meet in your lifetime.. where you go wow what an incredible person..
Arrrr.. so confused..

If the person you a now attracted to and your ex were friends before you came along, then it is your new attraction that should be most conflicted.

If I were you before things went to far I'd suggest that them two should talk. I'd also take a look at all of your new attractions friends, they might be hotter. Doing it once might be ok, twice and you're just a lowdown dawg, lol

When you say Ex, if you mean the Mother of your children then I would stay away, it could cause problems. But if when you say Ex, Ex is not the Mother of your children then I would go for it.
Just my humble opinion for what its worth.

Sometimes people are really cool when you are with their friends, but not so much when you are with them. There can be many reasons: you were "safe"; the ex bad mouthed you; they were in a different place mentally; the ex was the one they felt cool with, they feel weird around you now, etc. When I was married most of my wife's friends actually asked me to "do" them, when the divorce happened, they all joined Team Whore.

Its awkward but you don't owe anyone an explanation for what you decide to do.

yes my ex is the mother of my children.. but I can't perceive why this would have problems..

. this isn't about hooking up.

.. no we have been alone a few times.
dinner parties company functions.
outings... we get along because we truly get along together....
. and yes I thought about that as well.
why would she be approaching me..
but I do not know what the relationship between her and my ex is anymore.. we talk we no longer talk in regards of.. what each others friends are doing... so for all I know. they may not be friends anymore...
. I do not know... and. I don't know how to respond to that if they have hotter friends.. this isn't a surface.
. infatuation... it is more than that..
. I know what my mind is saying.
but I also know what my heart is saying.. they are at odds with one another... still confused

Humm myself I actually turned down a date with someone after they split up. Due to his ex wife was a very good friend of mine and I don't cross that line...

Even though I got accused of it later from my friend and that friendship dissolved due to not only being accused of dating her ex once but twice..

I still feel the same way about dating exes of a friend..

But then if a ex b/f friend, that is no longer associated with them and they ask me out then yes I would go out with them...

It is all up to each person what they can handle...Myself I prefer that exes once they are exes are not someone I'm going to be around every time I'm around my friends...

But that is just me makes things less awkward....

Since I've been on here you seem like a cool guy, so why don't you ask her (the new girl) if she is still friends with your ex. It's none of my business but have you thought about speaking to your kids about it too. I bet they'd be delighted if you found someone new.
It's a tricky situation for you clearly, and I wish you well whatever you decide.

Yes klc and I appreciate everybody's thoughts.. and sound advice...
she gave me her number..
and told me to think it over.
and give her a call..
so there's no real big rush..
I just really don't know what to do.
I would not want to wreck their relationship.. if they still have one..
. and if I go on a date for coffee.
to feel her out so to speak..
and that was to get back to the ex.
. well that could just be a problem right there between them...

No big rush? There is an old Celtic saying: Nothing is faster than a woman changing her mind from one man to another. Not making a decision is actually your decision.

Awww. thanks Frankie.. and I think you're awesome too..
but as far as involving my kids in my personal dating life... No.. big no.
they are a little confused right now.
. the last thing I'd want to do.. is add to their confusion.. by talking or seeing other women.. around them..
.. in time things will be different but for right now.. they know nothing of my personal dating life... and I plan on keeping it that way...
. but yes it would be nice if they are older.. to get their opinions..
because they are like their father very opinionated..lmao

Hmm..klc.. my ex and I.. are still close and communicate quite well..
but not that well..
I can't imagine how that conversation would go...hmm
. by the way I ran into a friend of yours.. you remember so and so right..
the ex says yeah...
.. what did the two of you talk ..about..... my response...ohh.. you know the price of gas .. the weather.
oh and by the way she wants to date me...
Ohhh..

Be very careful as emotions rarely have anything to do with rationality. This new attraction could of been born out of the notion of forbidden fruit. More often the fantasy of something far out weighs the reality and sometimes flirtations should remain just that. I once had a cousin accuse me of pursuing one of his ex girlfriends. Even though I knew and dated the woman in question before I knew him. I guess his pride had been hurt in some way? I hope you find a happy resolution to your dilemma

Yes Txs... this is my problem.
if these is not handled properly..
it can do a lot of damage..
. but do I want to look back on my life.
and think she could have been the one.. well the next one..lol

yes I have lost a bit of sleep thinking about this one...
and of course I want to be upfront with my ex.. but at 1 level it's not really about her.. but on another hand it is . and the worst that could happened..is
I destroy their relationship...
. my ex becomes enraged with me.
. oh great I can hear the lawyer calling right now..lmao
.

Okk.. thank you for all your helpful advice..klc.. and I'm sure I will.
ask my ex for an update on her and my friends...wow....