* grinning.....I really really like to.......%~*..... ^&$$\.

I believe we are conditioned to associate love with sex,, if we were conditioned from such a young age to equate chocolate with love we probably would be more judgmental of others who share it freely too

I believe sex is an activity that can be fulfilling, and many people use it just for that physical fulfillment and nothing else....

its ideal for love and sex to go together but neither HAS to include the other,,,,,

just as people give their body for the end result of a 'love', others may give it for the end result of orgasm, or the end result of gifts,,,people are not all motivated by the idea of love,,,

I think that casual sex is problematical for a variety of reasons. There are some people that do it because they don't want a serious relationship and then there are people that will form emotional atatchments with a lover and want it to develop into something more. I personally really like sex and see it as the main thing that bonds me to a woman and it's never really "just sex" because I am passionate and give myself completely, rather than holding back my feelings, as some people do who look for casual sex because they might want to fulfill some need but don't want to become emotionally involved.

There is nothing wrong with starting off casual. As the conservetive types like to point out, it is what a lot of people do these days. The idea of an old fashioned courtship that goes on for months without any sex has become an antiquated thing and the rise in sexual promiscuity is a reaction against a sexual morality that was considered repressive and unhealthy. People on this forum that are not sexually active often like to say that you don't need sex and it may be true that you can survive as an individual without it but it is one of our most basic needs and I, for one, do not wish to suppress my sexual desires. I might have become a bit more guarded about feelings that go beyond lust because I have been hurt a few times and abandoned or messed about by women that I have become involved with but I don't think that I have trust issues. A lot of the women that I meet do though and that has become like a red flag thing for me. However, trying to find a woman that doesn't have issues of some sort is far from easy and I've almost come to expect them to be difficult in that way. It is like it comes with the territory and at this stage I feel like I can either just take it as it comes and get it when I can and just see how it goes with them or give up on women altogether, which isn't really an option because it goes too much against my nature.

I didn't know Howard Stern was posting at this site.

I do not understand why this thread has gone so far off topic.

The OP asks, "Do you believe men and women who are promiscuous (go with lust and not feelings when they sleep around) have abandonment issues from their parents?"

Why can't people just answer the question about abandonment issues?

I personally don't see where there is a connection between abandonment issues and sex in general. Because even if they have abandonment issues, after having sex doesn't mean they will stay together with the person in question eg., not be abandoned or vice versa.

Sex doesn't keep people together, only a way of sharing the being together. So again, the two don't really have anything to do with one another. Would actually make it that much harder on the person with abandonment issues if and when the other leaves that person after having shared such an experience together. They would then not only feel alone and empty, but also used and defiled.

Only difference between chocolate and love is that chocolate is fundamentally easier to attain. The latter comes often with terms and baggage, the spooky kind.

Those people are conditioned to believe it is fulfilling but are diluted into thinking it's a lifeline fulfillment because of the "slut shaming" bs, so that leads us nowhere.

In all seriousness whoever is having sex just to do it and shut themselves down from any kind of connection is missing the hell out.

To reach orgasm is to make a connection, to reach orgasm for women especially is be with someone who trusts and knows their body. Although I wouldn't directly call it pure, unconcealed love but it means something when you're being heard during intimacy.

If you're motivated by self-love and appreciation for the person staring back at you in the mirror anything can be possible. If you didn't have this growing up with a role model parent to guide and help you discover who you are then you learn the hard way.

it would be quite the boring thread with just a bunch of yes and nos , don't you think.? lol

people are EXPLAINING their answer,,or their reasoning for it, that's all

Yeah, but someone got bent all out of shape because the term "promiscuous" is being used. The issue is the connection - or lack thereof - between promiscuity and parental abandonment. As long as people are explaining the connection - or lack thereof - we remain on topic.

offended? no, not at all.
hurt? not even close.
i am an adult. i don't react either of these two ways when someone has a different opinion than i do. i have much thicker ski than that.

i did find your comment "thanks for defending the sex" (and another variant) dismissive and a bit condescending, not to mention, off it's mark. this finding was cemented when you took the time to type it out a second time.

making that statement leads me to not only wonder if you read any of my post at all, but how you came to the conclusion i was promoting promiscuity? something i never did.

for the record, when it comes to sex, i am a fan! you may take that at face value; any further assumptions you draw from it are without merit.

you do continue to argue over and over, that one can have sex without love and love without sex, please show me where in the eight pages of this thread (so far) i or anyone else has disputed this.

lets review: your words..."It potentially makes the relationship strong through sharing the love that already exists through the sex." the use of the word potentially indicates that in may in fact do just that, so what do we have here? anybody?...i'll help, a connection!

your words again: "There are plenty other ways to share your love that is safer and more efficient." ...than what? yes sex, conclusion?
the two can be shared...and what is that?......connection yells the girl from toledo sitting behind her 15.5 inch monitor!...yes ma'am you guessed it.

your words: " The sex won't make you fall in love, nor make the other fall in love. Nor make the love stronger." what is this class?...'can i go to the restroom', says the stoner in last row. wrong answer, what we have here is not only a blanket statement that couldn't possibly cover all 7 billion people on the planet, but the last part directly contradicts the earlier statement. so this is a fail!

your words once more: "It "can" intensify the feeling of love or the connection thereof."...yes it can, its a little thing i like to call....'connection' screams the twenty something guy from india looking for a virgin bride!....yes sir, you are catching on! good luck with your search.

another quote, if you will: "people use sex to get love"...hold on, i have a email from a student in ukraine...dis is coonecksion. close enough man, i do hope putin stays out so you can remain a free thinker!

back to your words: "that connection, can be found other ways that are even a stronger connection then the sex"...sounds like an admittance of the connection to me...what say you?..."isn't that supposed to be 'than' rather than 'then'?"...yes fosai, our alert if not picky exchange student, and thank you, now get back to grading those papers for me.

cowboy...the dots are all over this thread, you just have to allow them to be connected with anything other than invisible ink. a loving relationship is comprised of many things, sex is but one of them. it is a natural healthy activity when shared between two consenting adults and it is damn sure connected.


in conclusion...the end.


oh and david, conversations, much like people do evolve.

Incorrect. The love in itself is not comprised of sex.
comprise - To include; contain

Sex in itself does not include love nor does love include sex. This is speaking on a general term. People pay for prostitutes to have "sex" there is no love there. So again on a general term sex is not comprised with love. That's ALL i was ever trying to say. Not pointing fingers, hell I wasn't even arguing. Only reason I've repeated myself time and time again specifically to you is because you don't seem to understand what I'm saying so I'm assuming there may be other's with the same misconception, thus the repeating. But anyways, it is time I leave this thread as it's going no where. Much love my friend.

yes, i meant to say loving relationship, not love...oops

argue can be and is used as a substitute for debate. at no time did i feel this was an argument.

No.

I think it's our radical change in moral codes, cultures, over the last few decades and sexually independent people don't care what other people think about our personal choices anymore.

Do people who didn't/don't feel loved by their parents have sex with random strangers trying to find love? Sure. But so do people who were/are loved by their parents.

As far as waiting to have sex until you have feelings... well... feelings is what drives you to have sex in the first place...

just as (sadly) we no longer are driven or even widely encouraged to make food choices based upon longterm health benefits (or risks)

we also no longer are driven or even widely encourage to make our sexual choices based upon longterm heatlh benefits (or risks)

just the temporary and immediate satisfaction,, has become enough for many,,,

... and lust is a feeling.

sometimes

That's the exact kind of mind set I do believe is responsible for relationships not being worth as much as they once were. People on a general note these days only worry or care about the here and now. They aren't looking tomorrow, or their future in this same context. People just figure they can get better or just in general someone else. So with that, they aren't worried about loosing the one they're with. It's despicable :/

does that mean my LaRosa's Pizza today was a naughty sex partner?

lol, a source of immediate gratification for certain,,,