I understand that dating and relationships is a long hard process. when there is someone in your life and you try to keep that idea alive, when is it enough? or is it ever enough?

I find for myself I have really high expectations of others. I always treat the person how I want to be treated. making time for them when you are busy with a simple " hi how is your day?" or any small message to let them know you are thinking of them. Making them feel special and paying compliments. I don't ever seem to get that in return or its not up to my expectations. I strongly go by treat people the way you want to be treated. after clearly explaining at the start what I expect and its not done.....

so when should someone just walk away and say forget it?

I fully believe that is why I am a single lady. I can not find the person that will make me feel special and that I am their #1 person. all in reason of course.

soon enough Im not even going to care anymore. a lot of work for nothing it seems.

thanks for reading my rant/thoughts/questions....

.. SHE'S BACK...
. ..
.. hi boo... where'd you go.. whats you been up to..hmm..:

hey PHD

ive been on here and there. chatting a bit. ive been working and then just doing my own thing I suppose. you?

You know, dating is a bit of a head game.

'Giving up' is often useful, you delete
your expectations.

Surprisingly, things often happen then,
perhaps because someone has to really jump
out at you to break through the indifference.

Strategy :-)

.. same old same old.. putting my two cents in everywhere I go.. ... so you dating anybody?.hmm... did you do something new with your hair... I love that outfit you have on.. how was your day.. can I get you or do anything for you.. just let me know I'm here to serve... ...jk

LOL. no im not dating anyone. cant even get close. i brushed my hair today and put it in a pony tail lol, thanks i really like these pjs to :) my day was ok a little busy earlier now nothing lol. i would really love a cup of tea if you could make me one!!!

very good advice! tyvm

This post actually made me reactivate my profile, because I was this way, and i've known a few people as well...and thought maybe I could help a little....maybe but this is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

I emphasized some of the points above, first I'll say I understand the old adage "treat others how you like to be treated" but I think that applies to everyday interactions and not dating, in the dating world I would say treat others the way THEY want to be treated,

A lot of people do these 'little' things but they do them with the expectation of

1. It's what the other person wants(when that's not always the case) and 2. They do them because THEY want them...in other words they give so the they can get.

If you constantly have this mentality, I did A, B, C, D an E for you, but you haven't done A, B, C, or d for me! often the response is "I didn't ask you to do any of those things"(which is often true) so that reveals the true meaning behind the gestures...it wasn't for the other person, it was for themselves.

You can have high expectations, and also choose to leave someone if they aren't 'meeting them' but most often the person in this case doesn't leave, instead they think they can just give more gestures and eventually the other person will want to pay them back(or feel guilty for not paying them back) so instead of doing what they really should do(just walk away, find someone who appreciates those things) they instead do what would push the person farther away(increase the gestures)...the other person doesn't want them, they are only increasing them because that is what they want the OTHER person to do....

I agree with you that i do certain things since i want them in return. i have walked away plenty of times before really anything took off since i felt like the other person couldn't be bothered with it all. yes treat ppl the way they want to be treated that's what i ment.

i have expectations that i say are high since no one seems to do them, so i assume there high. like say you text someone a little hello. im not expecting to be answered immediately but im not waiting 4 days for a reply. that's rude.

i always do what i say since i am a lady of my word. cancelling plans, not being punctual, not doing the small things that gerally everyone would appreciate is not worth my time.

maybe im just over analyzing things here today. its really hard to meet people. very overwhelming

i agree kelly... you do have to expect things in return, or it's not worth the trouble... if someone is constantly late, or not doing what they say they will, it's troublesome to me... if they cared, they would do what they say they are going to do...

.. your cup of tea madam.. if there's anything else just let me know...

that's why i think you are pure awesome Moe!


Thanks PHD for the tea, appreciate it

I'm going to say that there does come a time sometimes when you have to love yourself enough to walk away.
However, we often ha expectations of others that don't have to do with the real personal. If you go into a relationship expecting that you are going to change someone, it's doomed from the start.
As for the expectations and treating someone how you want to be treated; just because being a certain way to others may come natural to you doesn't mean it's the same for others.
Keep in mind what attracted them to you in the first place and see if that's still there before you give up. Wish you the best.

I don't have anyone in particular that I am writing this about, actually no one lol. I do expect that people will do what they say and are as polite as possible. I don't expect to change anyone since there will never come a day where anyone will change me. im not going to settle for just anything. no one should I think. I know that not what you are saying. I love myself enough to know what I want and what I don't, I wont ever have to walk away. I might have to wait a long time but someone will come and we will be compatible .