I've been on both sides of the spectrum and have to say it really doesn't matter which part of it I am.

Morning (((Lionsbrew))) ....We agree!!

People like leigh




DON'T DO!!!!

Morning (((((Leigh)))))) They say great thinks mind alike.

It does matter to me what's on a profile because most of the women on the forums simply live too far away for dating. I'm just not a very visual person though and it doesn't matter how good looking that they are if there's nothing else there to catch my interest, or if there's something else there that puts me off.

+1

Agreed with your statement.

The man should do the chasing. Always. Otherwise, you're loose, and my mama told me a lady should never be thought of as loose.

I don't believe in this losing bit. That's ego based, it's not about ego, but energetic tendencies that are embedded in humans.
Masculine energy is about action, thinking, decisions, doing etc. and pursuing is naturally part of that too.
Feminine is receptive, passive, creative etc.

So the question I asked "who should do the pursuing" wasn't meant to be an ego thing either. It was more intended to ask: what works best with those natural energies in men and women in the back of our minds?

And what I really want to know, and didn't really get clear as of yet: how far can a woman push the borders of these instinctual energies by initiating/maintaining contact? It is clear that initiating contact is generally speaking okay. But then the next step ...

I think if a woman goes after a man he thinks she's desperate. It's one thing to hint around that you like him, but I think he should make the first move. Obviously, that doesn't work for everyone, but that's what makes me comfortable.

"Who should do the pursuing on dating-sites"

I don't care who pursues me here as long as it isn't a law officer.






Wait. Did I say that out loud?

agree

what if a woman is attracted to another woman, who takes the lead?

Hi, Crystal

Hmmmm, well, from what I know of those kind of relationships, which isn't much, but there's always one that feels more "masculine" so maybe she should take the lead. Heck, I don't know. I like men, not women,

Many men are breathing a sigh of relief right now :-)

Cue in Crystal, you want to take it from here.

Well, there are two issues here. Firstly, there are people that take the view that a fast woman is a whore and in my opinion, that's a rather antiquated idea. My sister is no whore but she is married to a very shy sort of guy and she did go after him. Maybe that's where your feminine and masculine energies come in because it seems pretty clear to me who wears the trousers in that relationship, although I dare say that there's a lot of truth in the saying that it's the quiet ones that you have to watch out for.

The way that I see it, every relationship is different. I'm not so shy that I won't make the first move but I don't like chasing after women and I do like them to be keen and not make things difficult. I don't want them to think that I'm a pest or a stalker and if I'm not getting some sort of encouragement I will give up and when a woman is putting up a lot of roadblocks and won't just make a date I will just forget about her if another one comes along and doesn't do that. I've been doing this with the internet dating for a while and it is like the harder you try, the more stubborn they get. You would not believe some of the excuses that I've had from women that said that they were interested in me but wouldn't just make a date. It does get annoying and I had one that was a total tease saying to me that I had a split personality because I did get a bit pissed off with her giving me the run around like that.

It's quite simple. When you don't reply to a message you are breaking the chain. Not replying may not be rude as such but it makes it awkward and you can't expect the other person to know why you didn't reply for a while if you don't say so. Why should I have to do all of the running? Do I get points for that? No and when the communication keeps breaking down because they keep stopping replying I eventually have to give up because if they can't be bothered, then neither can I and I'll just go and look for somebody that's more interested in me.

Hahaha, my head is spinning! So much information and so many insights in myself, past things, just unbelievable!
What i need now, is to practise this. I need practice material, anyone interested in a date? LOL

The idea that the man should always be the one to pursue is an idea out of the dark ages.

This is the 21st Century. Get with the times.

If I was within driving distance, I would volunteer my services. :-)

One small step for the dating world, one giant step for mankind.