I don't think that I'm bad looking and women sometimes tell me that I'm a good kisser and that they enjoy having sex with me. My problem is that as soon as I get onto a dance floor I feel like everybody is looking at me and it makes me really self concious.

When I'm alone at home I sometimes dance around to music and pose like a rock star but I just can't seem to do it in public. I've tried consuming copious amounts of alcohol to overcome my inhibitions but that doesn't seem to work and when I'm drunk I tend to talk a load of shite.

Help me minglers. I just know that if I went out clubbing that I would be getting more tail and I might even meet the love of my life. What can I do?

I dunno if the club is much different from any other place. Or at least it shouldn't be viewed that way. Being able to read atmosphere and body language are key though since usually the music is so loud its hard to hear. Thats the biggest barrier in a club setting. Its easy enough to suggest going someplace a bit quieter to chat.

About the dancing if your worried about people staring at you. Go take some classes and give them a reason to stare. People usually only really watch two types of dancers the really good or the really bad.

This is true and it is also great exercise! I really enjoyed my dance lessons and am actually thinking of taking them again, not because I can't dance, but because I just really enjoyed them and met some really nice people in the process.

Given that most nightclubs in Scotland, are more or less meatmarkets tawt? I doubt it that you'd meet the love of your life, but it could happen mate? You never know! You'd defo get yer end away though! You live in Edinburgh and it's a lively City? You should have no problem there meeting people? Every time me and my mates went out in Edinburgh, we did ok!

Yeah, when I was in a relationship my ex used to go out clubbing with her pals and she would know where the good nightclubs are. I'm more into just going to the pub myself and actually, I'm not that bad when I'm hammered and I'm a sociable sort of drunk.

The thing is, back in the day I wasn't really into the rave scene and I'm not that into that style of music. I used to go on pub crawls in this town called North Berwick and everyone ended up at this pub that we called the QD at the end of the night and they had a disco there. I would just sit and watch the girls dancing, instead of getting up myself and that was alright because it wasn't too loud and girls would come over and talk to me. I got barred from that pub though because one time when I was out of my box I kept trying to get in when the guy on the door told me to bugger off. That was when I was in my twenties though and it just seemed like when I hit a certain age I couldn't mix with the young crowd anymore.

I tried the singles clubs for a while and went along to some of their dances and it just seemed to me that if you want to get a girlfriend through that, you have to get up and dance with them. The last time that I went along to that singles club though the women were mostly old and I mean, it really was a "grab a granny" sort of thing and I'm not talking about mature women but coffin dodgers. This one that was seventy years old asked me if I wanted to dance with her and I didn't want to be rude, so I did. I said to her that I was a crap dancer but she said to me that I was better than most of the rest of them there. I was thinking that maybe if I went back there I wouldn't feel like so much of an arse, compared to the rest of them and I could work on my moves until I built up enough confidence to go to a proper club where there would be fit women.

I didn't even know that you could go to classes where they taught you that sort of dancing. You will remember all of that Gay Gordons stuff from school, I dare say Larsson but I'm not really into country dancing and I think that if I went to ballroom dancing it would just be grab a granny all over again. The latin dancing looks good though and when I've watched that on the telly the women look really hot.

I suppose that I'll just have to bite the bullet and give it a bash. I could talk to my sister about it but the problem with her is that she knows what I'm like and doesn't seem to like me trying to chat up her friends.

The only way is to just do it.
Do it sober.

I know North Berwick, cos my ex stays in Haddington, not far from there? Me and my mates just go to the pub to watch the football and then take the night from there? Sometimes clubbing and sometimes Bowling, as there's a good pub in there and it's full of women also! I've been dating my mates sister, who moved back here for about 5 weeks now and things are ok. Mostly eating out and the Cinema lately, as she loves movies! We never got that dancing at the Catholic primary school that I went to, but I remember my other mates talking about it Tawt? Ha ha

My friend, I think you should just go out and have a good time and not give a rats azz what anyone thinks.Maybe its the opposite, maybe they are looking at you because they want to meet you.The important thing is that you enjoy yourself.

to dance is begging people to look at you.
just dance buddy. the more you do it, the less awkward you're going to feel about it.
toss in those rockstar poses and make a lil joke out of it lol

Yeah, I know Haddington and my folks live in Aberlady, which is near there. There's another town there called Macmerry and there's a joke that goes, "What made Macmerry?" and the answer is Aberlady.

Well, maybe the country dancing was just what they taught in protestant schools. I wouldn't know. We had to do it every year for the school dance and the PE teachers taught it. The PE teacher said that it was better than disco because you get your hands on each other, instead of just jumping about. One time I did slide my hand down the girl's back that I was dancing with as well and felt her arse. I was a bit shy with girls in those days though and didn't like how when they told us to choose partners all the boys just ran across the room to ask the pretty girls to dance and if you just walked over you were stuck with a mingger.

I suppose at least with a disco you can just dance about and you don't actually have to go up and ask a girl to dance with you. Like I was saying, I went to a few dances organised by the singles club here and at the last one I was at you had to walk across the dance floor to get to the toilet. I just walked past the girls though and didn't try to dance with them.

I don't know man. I wasn't awkward with girls before I hit puberty and I remember liking Gary Glitter and dancing and singing along to his music when I was in primary one or something. But those were more innocent times... Then when punk came along there was the pogo dancing and I remember this boy at a dance at one of the school camps that we went to on his back on the floor grabbing his private parts and writhing about. It was funny but the teachers didn't like it.

I have danced for a girlfriend that wanted me to in private because we had a game of pool and the bet was that she did what I wanted if I won and I stripped for her if she won and that was a laugh and you're sort of supposed to look a bit silly if you're a male stripper and she took some pictures of me doing a Jim Morrison once, with the rock star poses and taking my clothes off, so it's not like I can't do it in private, like I said. I think that if I went out and did that sort of thing I really would have to get tanked up and couldn't do it sober though.