Kind of funny and at the same time educational. It's amazing how little men seem to know about properly arousing a woman.

I found it elsewhere on the net, many men reacted to it and the only points they reacted to where the ones that were of interest to THEM. Figures why things often don't work out ...
This is not about you, but about how YOU can please a woman so you BOTH have a better/great time!

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out non-essentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER AN UNPLEASANT "PRESENT"
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it. Make sure you wash your hands also --> Women can get infections if men with dirty hands or with smell good lotions go inside her

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst (SO NOT sexy!). Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too. (Yeah, and don't roll over in orgasm induced coma leaving her feeling cheap and used)

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them or in their face. In real life, it just means more laundry to do or an unpleasant facial.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions.If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, 'Can I take a photo of you?' she'll hear the words '__to show my buddies.' At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen

With a list like that the first mistake for the guy would be meeting the woman who compiled the list in the first place?

Dunno if a woman wrote it, maybe it was a guy who had an open mind and eager to learn how to get it right?

I agree with Larsson, that's one hell of a long list!...I got all the way to #15 before I quit readng and decided I have either been very lucky when it comes to choosing lovers or that list was written by a very frustrated lesbian wanna be.... Is it OK if I finish it tomorrow?

I'm hoping all the guys are taking notes and passing them along!


I can only say " No, that's too hard"... " No, that's too soft"
" No, that's NOT the right spot" SO many times, without getting a sore throat!

Morning ((((TeeBee))))

Morning, Leigh! How's it going dear!

Very informative.I knew a lot of this stuff already from doing the most important thing there is to know when interacting with the opposite sex. Actually paying attention. You know using my ears as more than just love handles.

There is a few more that should be addressed. For instance.....

Don't stop what your doing because you hear her making sexy noises. Thats usually a sign your doing something right and stopping or changing what your doing could end up being an erotic buzzkill.

Don't be a sloppy kisser. You want to turn her on not drown her in your saliva.

Not Kissing first should be written as "Don't rush through foreplay" Foreplay is how you get a woman's juices flowing and help in getting her off.

I have more to say but I don't wanna give up too many of my tricks. I gotta keep somewhat of an edge of my competition.

Why the he|| you are single is beyond me ...

I'm single right now through choice. Life also has a way of making things happen weather we want it to or not. I do get hit on often enough I'm just not ready to taken at the moment. I still don't feel like I'm right with myself so I'm taking my time and working on me so I can be that much more awesome for my next partner.

Was just thinking that, haha.
And again reveals your wisdom and insight :)

I dunno about being wise or insightful. I really have a long way to go. Probably will until I die lol.

I noticed that some of them just tell of the problem which for guys. I think it would help to have a solution for the problems as well. Like number twenty for instance.

If a guy is having a problem with coming too soon an easy solution exists. Granted it won't work for everyone but I'm sure it'll help a lot of them.

Rub one out before you go out. If a guy is going to be going out on a date and he thinks sex could be on the nights agenda. It helps to fire off a test shot or two to sight his "gun" in. Leaving the house with a loaded gun that has a hair trigger is just asking for it. This helps in other ways too. His mind won't be solely on getting his rocks off and he'll be able to focus on other things throughout the nights festivities like her.

Wow. Compiling or posting a list like this makes me think someone needs to swear off sex or get her "picker" fixed when it come to selecting intimate partners. Would think anyone that ignorant about sex would not be able to "get laid" but guess the pro's don't exactly get the cream of the crop.

Haha. This list must have been wriien by a very fussy, unsatisfied woman. Some of these are common sense and some will depend on the woman.

"Picker Fixed"....PICKER WITH ON "E" ... Morning you! ...You think it could be generational???

Ok, I'm not laughing at the list but with it.

Well, maybe a little at it too.

I must be from another planet. Hello, we're talking about women right? I've never met two women that enjoy things the same way.

I think one of the greatest things about women is that each is so uniquely designed mentally as well as physically. I also think the magic of sex is how we uniquely unlock each others doors.

If sex all of a sudden became a template count me out.

Glad all of us are different and it's what makes the world go around...and you hit the nail square on the head!

I think this is the first time I've ever agreed with you.

41) learn where the dang **** is, it's between the flaps not between her vagina and her leg lol

it is a bit long but some of the ones that really matter are toward the end....and some are pretty funny...

nonetheless, we have heard a share of complaining about intimacy from both genders on here. so I would say interpret it as a list of possibles. I don;t think anyone is saying all men so ALL of these things.

....we will all interpret this in a unique way. alot depends on the situation.

Just have fun with it and a good laugh too.

Poor Larrsen sounds a bit worried....maybe he thinks women will start carrying this list around in bed