In life most of us make choices. Some times the consequences are fairly evident at the time. Example; loss of a friendship, fired from a job, fines, doing time. How long do you think it is fair for delayed consequences to follow a mistake? Does the age of the person at the time of the choice matter? What if there are residual complications from the choice that a future partner might have to endure?

Ten years ago a friend of mine got a divorce and each was ordered in the divorce decree to pay half of their joint credit card debt (approx 10,000). My friend paid his but his soon to be ex wife did not. Ten years later the credit card company took about 9000 from his checking account to pay her debt. She never fulfilled her responsibility and he subsequently was forced to pay. Being an irresponsible person she just ignored it and let it revert back to him years later. She is incapable of paying her own debt and the divorce decree did not follow up to see if she fulfilled her responsibility. I felt sorry for him once again being punished for her immaturity but as she is poor had no recourse. Moral dont marry anyone who is not self sufficient ....

Every decision has a consequence, it just isn't always a bad consequence...Most people don't see the good consequences of their decisions, or tend to gaze on seemingly lost at the bad consequences.

The funny thing is that we usually know the consequences in well enough time to simply not make the decision, we just ignore the obvious signs in light of the moment or just plain blindness. I will take all of the consequences for my decisions, past and present, because I don't regret a damn thing.

What's done is done, it is what it is.

Your friend is BSing you because a credit card company can not just take $9,000 out of your checking account without a judgement from a court. And they can't collect on a debt assigned by a court to another party.

He is the one that did not follow up with the courts when she did not make payments even if it was to put a lean on her property, vehicles, or tax returns. He could have had her hauled in for contempt of court and even had her wages garnished. People, even women, don't live on air; she worked somewhere.

Yea it might have been a hassle for him to keep going to court but he signed responsibility when he allowed joint credit and did not monitor it. Very few credit card companies allow a person to sign on for that kind of spending in any single purchase so I have serious doubt that this debt just appeared over night. Or that she was the only one to benefit from the purchases.

But yes sometimes the long term consequences are delayed but when it comes to paying bills I don't have a lot of sympathy. You authorize someone to spend your money or your credit you don't get to whine about it later.

I agree with you on this. I own my choices and how people respond to them current or later.

I initially posted the thread to a forum I saw on another site where someone was whining about being rejected for a former history of drug addiction.

I get the concept that some actions don't have a direct impact on me but then I don't excuse behavior in others that I have restrained myself from even if they have stopped doing it.

Why because Yea it would be great to do things, have fun being irresponsible and taking chances, breaking laws and later saying "oops" well now I have cleaned up my act so give me a pass but I am kind of you play you pay.

Some stupid stuff you don't get to live down.

Especially long term choices that have serious long term health implications. Drug addiction has major later life health consequences from organ failure, premature cognitive failure, even reactivation of addiction as senior years stress would definitely be red flags for me.

So would something like a gang affiliation. Yea a lot of people get sucked into gangs at a very young age but sorry I don't want that kind of trouble in my life.

Well, there is a difference between being addicted to drugs and once having been addicted...Sure, they did what they did, and at this point they have no choice but to live with the repercussions of those decisions whether it be today or 20 years from now. Having walked away is remarkable, because trust me, not a lot of people do; doesn't change what is done, but has to at least add a notch to the good side.

It is your choice how you decide to see it, I just don't see the benefit in reflecting on past decisions negatively...What's done, is done; there is no taking it back now.

To be honest when I was younger I made some mistakes and thought it was done and over. Now that I'm older I realize hey you did get paid back for that. The important thing is to step back quit thinking only of yourself and realize that your actions can truly hurt someone else.

The consequences that I might encounter because of complications of a future partner's history isn't my idea of getting off to a good start.

I don't think I would want to get involved. We all need to be responsible for our actions. I believe birds of a feather flock together and a person's history is an indication of future behavior/action.

Some people deserve what's coming to them. And I don't say that lightly with a smug look on my face. It's just that some people need a firm kick up the arse. Yet because they got away with whatever so far, apparantely they should never be wronged. Well screw that.

I think love is love. If you fall in love with a person the way he/she is at that moment, you know what you get yourself into. You can either choose to go for it or not.
If you decide to go for it and something from the past does come up, you deal with it together, if you truly love each other. We all have a past and you can't always prevent something coming up (again).

I Think it totally depends upon the 'mistake'

for example, if Im in an excellent marriage and I find out that during dating my mate had actually been seeing another, I think the time in between and the value of our relationship would make it kind of moot

if I have an excellent employee and I find out he didn't go to the school on his resume, I would personally keep him on as his work would be more relevant to me than his school or his lie

if someone illegally took a life fifty years ago, however, they still should serve time