I think at times I may be sabotaging potential relationships, I have always been the take charge do it myself type of personality I rarely except help from others but am always willing too help others, part of it is appearing too needy which I am not, so there are times when a woman offers to do me a service or favor whereas in most instances I refuse but always offer my help if needed I guess you might say I have issues with being seen to needy by a woman what I am asking here is it so important to a woman's psyche to nurture her partner by nurture I don't mean expressing ones feelings I am very open and straightforward letting a woman in my heart but yet I hold back say when a woman has offered maybe to do minor favors for me, I think because I have been a giver all my life I have difficulty excepting help when offered, but on the other hand I always thought a woman appreciates a man that is able to tend for himself.

I think it's important for any relationship to feel wanted. If they're offering to help, it's another way of showing they love you and care about you. Refusing them is like keeping them at arm's length. You may as well just reject them outright.

I get that you don't want to seem to be taking too much, but there's no harm in accepting help when you need it. It's a way of showing you value them and their presence. Yes, independence is great and very much appreciated but that doesn't mean you have to shoulder burdens alone.

They do appreciate a man who is able to take care of himself and is a giver. But everyone wants to feel needed and many others want to be givers as well.

You are not asking anyone to do things for you, or take care of you, but there is nothing wrong in accepting the help or service of someone who is possibly happily offering to do something for you. Just as you enjoy giving of yourself so freely, you can enjoy letting someone else experience that same feeling you have.

It is just another form of sharing honestly.

Except this kind of "need" (it's a song I think most people should listen to - **graffic language warning!**:
http://youtu.be/UJHGxtmKO84

Thanks for replies and advice I should further state this not only effects my love life but family and friends as well for instance my older sister is very peeved at me over not wanting a Birthday Celebration there was evidently a surprise party I missed I was unaware of, I am also a bit on the bashful side, makes me feel uncomfortable for anyone to make a fuss over me, but the rares times I except help it does give me a feeling of well being and too feel loved and cared for.

Then you have no reason to fear it, little grasshopper. If you know it brings good feelings, even if you feel shy, you know there's nothing to fear.

You should feel happy that there are people who care about you and love you enough to take the time to do those things for you. If it worries you about accepting things from them, think to yourself "there's always their birthday/Christmas/time they need something" so you feel less concerned about accepting it. In time you'll get better at it, I'm sure.

I presume your sister already knows what you're like. Apologise to her but I'm sure you can come to some sort of arrangement where you can still celebrate or spend time together without it embarrassing you.